major meltdown

[Jaquta]

I feel so stressed and anxious I want to hurt myself to avoid the overwhelming negative emotions.  I'm finding it hard to focus on what I need to be doing as I can't cope with those things mentally.  I feel so desperate I feel prepared to do almost anything (except that which I need too).
It's crazy how a simple thing can leave me feeling so trapped and vulnerable.

Has been a bad few months with things going badly.

How do you confront these things without being pushed over the edge, temporarily or permanently?  How do you regain that sense of control?

[RainLover71]

Remind yourself these feelings and emotions will pass.Your not always going to feel this way so don,t do anything silly,your to presious.Things will get better.We all go through bad patches in our lives,but as time passes situations change.All the best and if you ever need to talk just PM me.

[grannienannie]

sorry how your feeling..but as many times as I been pushed over the edge...I relax and get a grip...dont think so negative..think positive..if you think that way you will get positive results..And your not trapped..dont let your mind beat you..dont let the smallest or the biggest things bring you down..and dont allow anyone to do it to you...lift yourself up..get out of the darkness in your mind bring in some light and joy..no matter how bad things get...If I thought like that I will be dead now...and I'm sick with an infection in the right side of my face and the doctor havent done nothing for me..I pass out and the wake up and keep going..if not for myself for other people...its the people on this site that keeps me living cause Im not living for myself no more...i will be gone soon but no one is helping me...I will rather help you or someone else..do the same if not for yourself..do it for someone that needs a shoulder to cry on...do it because of someone that feels the same as you do now...it will help you..it helps me..live longer till someone helps me..I dont want to die...and you dont either...

[rls27]

I would recommend you stop trying to regain control. In fact, I'd recommend the opposite. Give up control. There are things in this life you do not have any control over, and the more you try and control those negative aspects of your life, the more you are fighting it. Think of it like quicksand. When you first step in quicksand, your instincts tell you to get out of hit. Lift yourself out, fight to get free. But the more you struggle, the deeper you sink. If you relax and calmly find a way to get free, you increase your chances of survival.

The mind works the same way. The more you try and fight and rid yourself of negative feelings, anxiety, and vulnerability, the stronger those things become. It then becomes a tug of war. You against all these horrible feelings. Here's what you do...drop the rope. Don't fight with it any longer. Accept the fact that there will always be good and bad in your life, and that no matter how good life is or can be, the bad is always going to be along for the ride. Channel your energy into make the positives in your life even more positive, rather than using that energy to regain control or fight. I think by doing that you'll find that the positive will eventually outweight the negative and it becomes more manageable.

[Jaquta]

Thank you for all the support.

Maybe if I were to just reframe them as learning experiences.  I don't have to put presurre on myself for them to be anything else than what they are.

I have tried to bring positives into my life but currently the negative looms like one of those big thunderous clouds.  I guess I like some incremental weather though.  Funny that I am reacting as though the cloud has broken when it reality it hasn't, yet.  I guess I should be able to reassure myself if it does.  I have been struggling to look ahead without worrying about outcomes.

I'm sorry you have an infection.  Is it possible to go to another doctor or the hospital.  Passing out doesn't sound like a good thing.

Last night I did flood other of the forums with posts and I think that did help.  I think it helped me get out of my own head for a bit.  That perhaps helped the most and allowed me to relax a little.

Acceptance.  That is one thing I have never been good at, along with trying not to control things.
This comment was helpful but probably too profound for me to comment on at this point.
I know I need to relax and enjoy things more.  I guess nothing has to be judged as good or bad.

Thanks all for taking the time to respond to my post.

[kenneltech]

Don't feel alone, I'm in the same boat.  I don't know what to do or where to turn, and I've been fighting depression my entire life.  I just came to a complete stand still, I don' t know why or how long it's going to last, but it's bad.  Real bad.

[Jaquta]

Are you able to get support?  I started to improve when I was seen by a good therapist but when she left I was eventually discharged because mental health professionals didn't want to have to deal with me or my situation.

Support I sometimes think is the biggest irony in my life.  When I felt OK I was hospitalized and threatened with ect, which wasn't given but other times when things are bad they tell me to put out the rubbish, half-smile, say that someone who is unwell is coming in and tell me that there's nothing they can do to help.  Sounds messed up to me.
Doesn't really help one to grasp the meaning of their life, or suffering.