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triggers
I was diagnosed with a minor depression disorder about 13 years ago. (Thank God it isnt a major depression disorder, because this one is all I can handle sometimes)  Typical for me, I waited 13 years before seeing anyone about this.

In therapy Ive learned a few skills but have been asked to write down my triggers.  The thing is, I can never catch a trigger.  I was told to write down the last thought I had before the mood sets in.  I really think this stuff originates in my subconscious.... I just cant figure the triggers out.  Sometimes I wake up and feel depressed.

Anyone got a clue as to what I can do to track my triggers?
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Things have been going real well the last couple of weeks.  Weve had few discussions about the affair, and the concentration has been primarily us on us!  It's been a long long time since thats been a concerted effort.

Today a discussion about the affair popped up out of the blue.  That triggered some anxiety for sure.  I've been on stable ground for a while, and Dee Dee has assured me she has too.... so when this popped up, I had no idea where the discussion was going to go.  

I caught myself prepping to become defensive, instead of actually listening to where the conversation was headed.  When I become defensive, the most common outcome becomes an arguement.  We end up feeding on and fueling each others fires.  This time was different, but the anxiety did kick in.

For me, my mind races but in no particular direction.... I get this feeling of immense energy in the middle of my chest, (nothing like a heart attack, its kid of like an addreneline rush) the energy feels as if its going to make my body jerk/spasm uncontrolably, I get the shakes a bit, I get the chills......all of this at once.

Now, I am kind of expecting a low feeling because of this discussion too.  I dont know if its common for anxiety and depression to so closely mix.

Anyhow, got my first triggers down.
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