end stage

[jemjax1]

My wife has been diagnosed with end stage liver disease caused by alcohal.  She has been sick for about a year and a half and the doctor has advised that she needs a liver transplant. She has declined to become a candidate for a transplant and has declined to cease use of alcohal. In the past two months all of her liver function levels have gone through the roof. She has been prescribed all of the normal meds to relieve these levels (most or all of which are designed to give you permanent diahrea and urinate constantly). She is drinking very little now due to being ill all the time, she is also refusing all medications and all food. She has a living will that prohibits forcing medications or food in any form.  She has pretty much decided to die and is in the process of letting go.  Her doctors declined to give any estimate of how long she might last and gave a range of several weeks to a year or more.  I am wondering how long she can last refusing all medications and all food as she has been doing for about 2-3 weeks now ??

[Kush]

I don't have anything to offer you except my support and prayers. I am going through the same set of circumstances. My husband is in end stage liver disease and continues to drink.
He looks awful but won't go to the doctor. I do little more except watch for signs of an emergency. I have gone to counseling to deal with the guilt I am feeling. One side of me tells me to do something, even thought I know it is hopeless. And another side of me is saying to let go and let God.
I don't know if hospice will be very welcome until she is unable to care for herself. I think my husband would throw a fit. But they can certainly help yoou and the emotional roller coaster you must be on. Watch for signs of encephalopathy, sometimes they become violent. God Bless you I wsill keep you in my prayers. Mary

[Beaker]

I am sorry to say that each of us go through the process of dying differently and no one for sure can say how long she has.  Since she has a living will and refuses medical help, only time will tell.  Have you thought of putting her in a hospice?  This has to be so very hard on you.   The folks there will at least make her comfortable and keep her clean.  You are not equipted to handle this kind of patient.  Is she able to go and get her own alcohol?  If not, now is your chance to dig your heels in and not enable her to drink.  If she refuses to live then you should refuse to aid her in her decision to die.  I know this may sound harsh but she has been depending on you and others to allow this kind of behavior to bring her to this point.  What you need to do is to contact Alanon to get some help for yourself.  Since your wife has made up her mind to leave, there really isn't much you or anyone else can do to stop this.  But in the same respect, you do not deserve to watch this happening.  Alcholism affects everyone in the family and hurts the ones you love the most.  I know you love her but now show it by doing something to help yourself, call Alanon. They have folks there who have been through this and know exactly what you need to do.  What do you have to lose?  Please know my prayers are with you and let us know how things are going.