My wife of 12 years left me 7 months ago, after 4 months of trying to win her back I met someone who has totally turn my life around. My wife and I have 2 kids together and I miss them every single day since I was an involved father having my son in sports and my daughter always being with me. She left me saying that she wanted me to become a better person which made no sense at the time. I dont have an anger problem but we would argue about so many things where it got to the point of separation. She now wants me back and I miss her alot but my girlfriend just found out she is pregnant. Iam constantly thinking of this outcome how this is going to change the way my kids feel about me. My son already hates me since my ex has told him that I left them for the woman that iam with now. I honestly dont know what to do!!!!
Do you love your GF? This is a tough one... I don't understand why you would start a full blown relationship with another women if you still wanted to work things out with your wife? I assume you are not divorced yet? Regardless, you may now be having another child so chances are your previous relationship ever reconciling is pretty slim. Does your wife know your current GF may be pregnant?
Yeah, I'm a little perplexed how you could just throw yourself into a new relationship so quickly. You can kind of understand how your wife would get the perception that you had this other woman prior to the separation. I would be a little upset if I left my marriage for whatever reasons and my husband got so deeply involved after only a few months. Plus, not to mention you didn't use precautions and got this other woman pregnant. Although, your wife should not have told your son, grow up issues need to stay amongst the grownups. Kids should not have to feel caught in the middle. I agree with the above, there are some questions that you need to ask yourself. Do you love the GF or do you still love the wife? Is she aware of the pregnancy? Does your GF know that you still may wish to stay in your marriage. I believe communication with your wife is key. You must tell her either way that your GF is pregnant and I guess you can see where that goes after that. I'm sure she will be hurt and angry and it may lead to you and her never getting back together or perhaps, you may be able to work through it. She will have to realize though that now an innocent child will be in the picture and she will have to learn to deal with that. Good luck.
Do you know for sure your g/f is pg? How far is she? Not to sound rude, but did you tell her about your wife wanting you back, and that was when you found out you were pg? Or has she been pg for awhile? What do you TRULY want? Did you date your g/f just to fill a gap or do you truly love her? Because- If you rather go back w/ your wife, don't do it because its right for the kids, it could end up being the total oppisite. You could be leaving something really wonderful... There are a lot of kids in this day and age growing up in 2 homes... Sometimes it's better. There are parents that stay together for the sake of the children, and all the kids hear are the parents fighting. If you do go back- You do not know for sure if everything will go back to the same old, same old. You 2 need to sit and talk how you both will make an effort and make an agreement to stick w/ positive changes. But- also remember your g/f. She was there for you when your wife didn't want you. You might go back to your wife because you love your wife and family, but, could you be possibly passing up the real woman that was meant for you? You have to make a pro and con list. Two of them. One for "Good and bad reasons to go back w/ your wife" and "Good and bad reasons for staying w/ your g/f." See which one weighs out the other. Change is hard, but also good. IF you do not go back w/ your wife, there is no reason why your relationship will change w/ your kids. It can even become stronger than ever. AND- you will have to discuss the fact that they will have a new brother and sister. I do not know how old they are, but, you do not want your child (Your new one) to feel left out or a "product" of something. Somehow, you will have to blend all 3 together... (kids) Your wife will have to except your new child if you go back. NOW- Is she the type of woman that will love this child regardless she is not the biological mother? Does your g/f love your 2 kids? You are definately going to have to think of that first one I just said... How will your family (mainly wife) be about your new baby? Will your wife treat this child different? I would think twice of going back. If she left you once, she could again. But, ppl have re married and it has worked the 2nd time around. But, you have more than yourself to bring home this time.
Your wife left you because she said she you wanted to be a better person. You stated you had no anger problems were an actively involved father you two's only problem was you and your wife argued so much it let to seperation . Keep in mind you only mentioned seperation and didn't state you two were actively seeking a divorce so you are still married. Until you two have come to the decision of a divorce you shouldn't have began a new relationship period let alone one that moved so fast and is resulting in your new girlfriend becoming pregnant. In all accounts you cheated on you wife. But if you still want to get back with your wife , you should she is still your wife. Im not saying abandon your child with your girlfriend though.
This post is from 2010. It's very old and the poster that you are correcting is long gone. Hopefully his life worked out with a happy ending no matter what that may be and we wish everyone good luck in trying to do that. Being able to ask questions in a safe way here at med help is important and we want members to feel comfortable doing that. Sometimes we have to work to keep the judgment out of it. But that is the right thing to do.
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