You need to address it with him up front and honest, and make him pay attention to his own noise - my dad does the same thing and I think it's just a lack of etiquette and personal control that makes it more annoying than anything else. I can hear the guy drinking coffee in the other room - every...single.. swallow of it.. it drives me up the wall.
my mom does the same thing and it is so incredibly annoying. only things she drinks or anything else that is like liquid. I definintely think is is poor etiquette and also laziness- but i would like to know if there is an actual reason for it to happen
I think all of you are elitists. I don't do it so no one else should. Im sure there are things that you can not control that is annoying as well. Oh heres one, you are inconsiderate. Are you supposed to look past these things if he is your "partner"? i put it in quotes because it seems you have the idea that he is your partner but not the mindset. you take people as they are. Its not his fault.
I can totally see how you can see this post the way you did. I was genuinely concerned he had some condition that made his throat do this which turned out to exactly that. After consulting a specialist, he diagnosed him with a "deviated nasal septum". He had to get surgery to strengthen the inner bone that didn't let him breathe properly thus causing loud noises. Not being inconsiderate but concerned.
hi, i just looked up 'gulp loudly' on the internet, because i do it!
it's not like it's ever bothered me but yes is bothers my husband of 10 years....
but yes i think he is intolerent. i think it's terrible that he is making me feel bad over eating of all things! when really i can't help it. when i swallow it's as if food has to get through a block - no i'm not taking giant piggy mouthfuls... although i'm sure he woud say so...
perhaps its a physiological thing... perhaps we are all different and yes there are things that tic me off about him... i'm about to go tell him about them now!
here's to long lasting marriages!
Well, it's not laziness or rudeness by intent it's just the way the person swallows. I've dealt with it myself since I was a child, but only when I drink oddly and it's not super loud, just louder than I think most people actually swallow.I can't control it unless I drink an extremely little amount at a time.
It's kind of funny because I had tried to drink a smaller amount and thought maybe it would be quieter, but it was kind of worse. I either have to drink a full sip if its a straw or very very little.
I've worked in health care, so I do know from experience that it has something to do with the consistency or texture of what one with this problem is drinking/eating. Some of the patients I've worked with have had to take their water or liquids thickened; however, this was as a means to prevent chocking or promote proper digestion. This is kind of a different instance, but by comparison, as I mentioned I only swallow "loudly" or hard I prefer to say, when I'm drinking water or anything that is thin. I
don't know what to suggest as far as regular meals the patients I've worked with were mentally ill etc, so their food was prepared according to their ability. It would be hard I presume to try and take a grown man or woman who is in their right mind to take their food any other way than what is normal to them. Hope this gives you some kind of idea about possible options.
My daughter 15 yo, also makes a presence at the table. She is a meticulous eater that arranges geometric neatness to her table settings, bedrooms accessaries, pens, pencils, etc. She completes her meals very slowly and is often reminded after most are finish to 'hurry it up.' She drinks small amounts at a time and a loud gulp sound emanate through the air across the table. She has great table manners, however it appears she concentrates on the whole process of the drinking function way too much.
Imagine a video in slow motion. Maintaining eye contact on the target at all times she steadily holds her cup/glass evenly without creating waves inside the cup. In a ready secured state, holding the cup she then slowly lifts and rotates her arm raising her cup to her head without any initial horizontal neck movement to meet the cup then ever so gently putting her lips to the cup rim. She then proceeds to vacuum small amounts of whatever she is drinking into her mouth as if she simultaneously measures, tastes, and analyzes the liquid she is ingesting. The cup is removed, and the swallowing process begins. Without any upper torso body or head movement, with a straigt erect back she begins to allow parts of the mouthful into her throat apparantly attempting to feel the liquid actually pass through her larnax while acuating the tongue to wave pass the throat section in turn raising the larnax (which makes the loud sound) dropping the liquid into her stomach. And that is per each small or large drink.
Mom thinks this is normal. I think my daughter thinks about the drink too much. It also does not make good table manners. Help.
I was hoping for some medical options to be offered here. I only saw one post that offered something and another post that insulted previous posters. Everyone else is just asking for help. I am not desperate for help. I just noticed a sibling and parent does this gulping while drinking. It is very annoying. the so called advice that states or implies to ignore it or be more tolerant is unreasonable. It's a terribly unpleasant sound and most people would be annoyed listening to it repeatedly. Luckily I no longer have to listen to it regularly but I did feel concerned that it was medical since it affects more than one person in my family. I googled it but all I found was a bunch of opinions ranging from "I'm going to lose my mind if they don't stop" to "They need to slow down" to "oh some people just make that sound, learn to adjust."
So back to square one. This was the most useful posts and I can't say it was all that useful. I do know that if my sibling does slow down the sound is either much quieter or I can't hear it at all. But we do have a family history of food getting trapped at the esophagus. So I suspect there could be a connection.
And I thought perhaps it was that they were swallowing air but they don't burp any more than anyone else. I have never been told I swallow hard or gulp but I burp more they they do. I know I swallow air. I have to pay attention not to eat or drink to eagerly.
I'm guessing there could be a number of reasons it happens and talking to a doctor may be the best way to find out. But that is just my humble opinion.
Doctors don't know! It's 4S Syndrome, cause unknown and no cure. Could be some hear really well, and are perhaps something like pyscholically tortured from sleep deprivation with those noises when young. The best comparison is a hangover and how easily annoying sounds are, but without the drinking. An analogy might be putting your dirty feet (in socks) on the dinner table for all others to smell and observe. Some may say bad etiquette, but you counter they have a smelling sensitivity problem.
Doctors don't know! It's 4S Syndrome, cause unknown and no cure. Could be some hear really well, and are perhaps something like pyscholically tortured from sleep deprivation with those noises when young. The best comparison is a hangover and how easily annoying sounds are, but without the drinking. An analogy might be putting your dirty feet (in socks) on the dinner table for all others to smell and observe. Some may say bad etiquette, but you counter they have a smelling sensitivity problem.
My Dad used to do it. Far easier to tell you father than a partner - he was doing as the daughter of the person above said - incredibly deliberate, over-thought and amazingly loud GULP action. I am very sensitive to such things, quite manic and tend to be annoyed, so I can add to the conversation in one respect: only a few people do this, I know because I notice ALL of them, and from the perspective of someone who has had to deal with it, it's not elitism, it's not some kind of smug poshness - thinking the other rude - it is genuinely like torture to listen to. Obviously its stupid psychological effect and I wish I could stop being so annoyed by it, but I really can't and it's like you are being violated when you listen to it. A colleague who sits near a chap who makes the same noise and who also happens to gulp A LOT due to some kind of wierd prediliciton to drink 4 or 5 litres of water every day, my colleague is driven mad by it. Sometimes I'll hear a gulp come accross the office and it sends a shiver down my spine but then the colleague who cant cope with it appears and leaves - he actually has to leave the office its so aweful. At least I'm not alone.
I have various theories about why it is so annoying, none really on what causes it, appart from perhaps a lack of coordination or in the case of my father just a crazy over-thinking that he managed to get over (aged 55!) and stop doing it. It might be an overly tied-tongue that can cause snoring and things or perhaps an odly over/under sealing soft pallet. As for the annoyance-causing, apologies in advance to any dislikers of evolution, but I think it might be an evolved repulsion to members of a tribe/group which demonstrate illness / weakness. You know how everyone is almost driven to bully / drive our weak members of a peer group, how young people and stupid people succumb to that drive and become overt bullies? I think that as an adult that compulsion can be presented as a raging annoyance and when someone does something annoying it might be that we are discerning some weakness - certainly an uncoordinated swallow action must surely be considered a physiological weakness, or perhaps we are programmed to recognize it as a sure sign of someone uncoordinated, and hence we are repulsed by it. Just a (probably rubbish) theory, but that's how it feels - the repulsion and annoyance 'feels' programmed its such a strong drive.
Another example: my bosses son has had a cold seemingly his whole life, he is 6 and still cant breath through his nose, and so he eats amazingly loudly with an open mouth - said boss cannot actually eat at the table with is son, he tries almost every day to get over it and eat with him, but he just cannot do it so repulsive is the noise.
I wonder if that might cause uncoordinated gulping - perhaps if one is a sickly child and cannot learn the very complex action as a young child due to a blocked nose, one never quite gets the hang of it.
You, my friend, are being quite unreasonable I believe. I swallow loudly and I have been trying to stop and it's not something that comes easily especially when there's people like you that post unhelpful comments on otherwise helpful threads. I detest your reference to the analogy of feet on the table. It isn't like that at all. Besides the fact that people shouldn't actually be drinking during a meal I don't believe that your 'analogy' was correct. I have been raised to be polite during meals. I don't put my elbows on the table and I certainly don't put my feet on there :P However people have commented on my loud drinking and my heavy breathing. It's not something I can just be like 'Oh hey, maybe I should stop' and I stop. If you had it then you would understand but you don't sooo :)
I am 27yr male .I have the same gulp sound even with saliva and frustrates others . I feel ashamed of myself.
If there is a professional guy reading , please assist.
Thanks in advance.
I seem to be doing the exact same thing but it is so not due to laziness or lack of etiquette! I think that it is a physical thing, besides everybody is different you must have something annoying about you, and it isn't like he does it on purpose.
I just found this because I looked up loud swallowing because I am fed up with my husband looking disgusted making a face or leaving the room whenever I have a drink. He has even said it annoys him. I found that most upsetting. To all who said its bad manners or laziness it is not the person cannot help it and your attitude to it is upsetting to them. How would you like it if every time you wanted to eat or drink you felt someone was glaring at you it is becoming very upsetting. I even go thirsty rather than drink in front of him would you like your relative to do that? I am glad there appears to be some cause now off to my doctor when can get an appointment!
I have always had decent table manners. About 3 years ago my family started to comment on my loud swallowing, even though (as far as I could tell) it was just the same as how I'd always done it. I have a relatively small volume of mouth capacity, with a narrow space between my teeth and a high-arched palate. I also have very large tonsils.
I am no expert on the art of swallowing, but I assume that the internal structure of one's mouth and upper throat has a huge effect on the acoustics involved. Keeping in mind that the head is essentially a gigantic resonating chamber, as any classically trained singer will attest to, there will always be a connection between the internal bone structure of one's head and how loudly they swallow.
For those of us who are sure about our swallowing being blatant rudeness, let me say this: I've tried every single possible permutation and combination of tongue shape, head angle and throat tension I could think of that wouldn't result in me drowning, and I still haven't figured out how to swallow quietly. What I have found is that I'm slightly quieter when I'm more sufficiently hydrated.
For those of us who, like me, swallow loudly and are insecure about it, remember that it sounds louder to you than it does to someone else! It's your head that the sound is buzzing through, so the vibrations travelling through your bones will reach your ears more efficiently than through the air around you. If you can achieve what sounds like 'relatively' quiet swallowing to what you're used to hearing from yourself, then you've managed to reduce your external volume by a lot.
Drink a lot of water to keep your throat moist, so that your body is less likely to register a gulping action when you drink something (which it will do if it thinks it won't get liquid again for a long time). Try to use your tongue to contain the liquid between either side of your teeth, so that it doesn't squelch past the back of your molars when you swallow. After swallowing, relax and open your throat slowly, instead of snapping it open to be able to breathe again. But more importantly than anything else: if it hurts, it's wrong! Avoid doing anything when you swallow that makes your throat ache. If you damage something used for swallowing, it gets very easy to get an infection.
Have him try this:
Take a swallow (of a drink or a bite of food)
Exhale first
Then swallow
And see if that helps.
I think what loud swallowers do is
Inhale
Swallow
Then Exhale (causing gasping or loud gulping sounds)
maybe my mom has this-- ugh so annoying
For the people saying that swallowing loudly is annoying or poor etiquette, for the love of God get over yourselves! Some people cannot help it and are just as conscious of it as you. I find it ridiculous that people like you make others feel uncomfortable to do a natural thing like eating or drinking so as not to disturb/annoy others. Utterly shameful!!
My grandma does the same thing, its very loud, but she isn't doing it on purpose. When the noise happens its involuntary. You can control it if you take slow sips, but general drinking of liquids is just uncontrollable. Not everyone has this problem.
I love how everyone says you should feel ashamed for being disgusted by other's loud swallowing noises because they can't help it. Personally I can't help getting severe anxiety attacks when hearing loud mouth sounds due to a neurological disorder that I can't help. This creates a paradox as the loud swallowers shouldn't be offended as I can't help it and I'm 100% sure the solution to this is just blowing up the universe in a **** show of triggered whinyness.
Instead of writing you a whole essay I will give you the answer. Tell him to try to swallow harder. It worked for me.