I have a BIG problem: Twice last week I went out to the bar and BOTH times I brought a different girl home that was DTF (down to ****). Both times I was fairly drunk.
And yet, sadly, I have not gotten laid in a year. I'M IN COLLEGE FOR CHRISTS SAKE!
Both times I was unable to obtain an erection. (And about 3/5 times before that last year as well) SOOOOO EMBARRASSING!!!!!!
I have been extremely depressed the past few days but now I am trying to take a more proactive approach with this. I have been researching and I have kind of boiled down my problem to several potential causes:
1) Pornography - I hear excessive porn can cause ED. Effective immediately, I'm stopping PMO as long as I can.
2) Smoking cigarettes - recently (about the last 5-6 months). I'm gonna quit
3) Alcohol - I drink (sometimes heavily with my friends). I'm cutting back.
4) Exercise - or lack there of! I used to be in great shape in high school and I've fallen out of shape this past year. Does working out REALLY help?
5) Medication - I have taken the same ADD medicine since high school but I can't find any sexual related side effects.
For God's sake, I'm 21! I should NOT be having trouble getting an erection when a BEAUTIFUL girl is literally BEGGING for it in my own bed.
Sometimes I can't get it up at all, sometimes I fly at "half mast" and don't get hard enough for penetration, and others I lose the erection as I'm messing with the condom. And for me, once it's gone.... it's gone.
I REALLY don't want to go on Viagra or any drug like that.
*****These problems have made me question every aspect of my life (such as what if I get divorced or never even get married because the sex isn't good enough? Am I doomed to live a sexless life?).*****
Also, I don't have any trouble getting an erection when I'm alone, which is the saddest part. I'd rather it be the other way around!!!
I hope this helps someone.
PLEASE GIVE ME ANY ADVICE YOU HAVE (especially if you have been though this).
If you are 21, and not on specific medications and don't have a serious medical condition, the causes of your copulatory ED are almost certainly anxiety or porn—or a combination of the two. Here's a simple comparison test to check for porn-induced ED:
1. Masturbate to your favorite porn.
2. Try to masturbate using no porn and no fantasy - only sensations. Masturbate with same speed and pressure as you would during intercourse.
Compare one and two. How erect was your penis? How long did it take you to reach orgasm? What was your level of excitement? A healthy young man should have no trouble attaining a full erection and masturbating to orgasm without porn or fantasy.
1. If you have a strong erection on #1, but problems on #2, then you have porn-induced ED.
2. If #2 is strong and solid, but you have trouble with a real partner, then you have anxiety induced ED
3. If you have problems during both 1 & 2, you may have severe porn-induced ED, or an organic problem. When in doubt, see a good urologist.
The following 2 links are to Medhelp threads on porn-induced ED. Read the stories. If you want to know more locate my first 2 posts on the link #1
On GOOGLE VIDEO find “Erectile Dysfunction And Porn” - watch the video series.
Here’s a Psychology Today article on it
Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction Is A Growing Problem
PS - all the other factors listed are irrelevant at age 21.
I know this is old but ive had the same thing happen to me i am also 21 was 19 when it was happening just got out of a relationship and had a gorgeous blonde dancer in my bed begging for it every night, it is anxiety and too much masturbation or porn it can desensitize you, sexuality is so complicated because our conscience thought gets in the way of natural desires. If we acted on impulse there would be sex in the streets for no reason, think of other animals they just bone, sometimes there is female selection and male competition exc. but for the most part mating is random and due to attraction based on alleles that are best for procreation.
now human sexuality is different because we are taught at a young age when a man and woman love each other, and u only have sex in a closed area secluded alone exc. we repress our instincts and sometimes we repress them too much, I have found the only time I achieve an erection is when I have a gf and we get into it, random hookups have all ended up with a half hard **** and an apology. Everyone is different but i did find that natural vascular supplements like arganine, ginko bibola, horny goat weed, exc. had an impact, it could have been a placebo effect but its worth a shot either way it works. drink lots of water, dont put pressure on urself just let things go and enjoy urself
hope that helps sometimes a couple drinks helps psychological ED but too much to drink will inhibit your sense of touch thus stimultion may be impossible or climax may be impossible. Just remember it is just sex and dont think of the what ifs, no girl is going to divorse u because of sex life, i guarentee once you get it hard once, you will never have a problem again its all about allowing your subconscience safeguards to unlock and allow vulnerability because remember in public we dont walk around with an erection as if it is normal, when you are with a girl you do not know well it is a similar situation your brain is not getting the message that it is time to get down. and if you lose it getting the condom on **** it just tell her to suck it once u realize its okay to be erect with an unknown female it will work out
This is really bad condition in this age of 21. I am also 21 years old and same problem is facing. Did you consult with your doctor about this problem. Because, I have started a medicine for my erection problem but I got a prescription from my doctor to take this medicine.
Did your medicine help you? if so, what is it? and what are the side effects? im having this same problem! my gf and i try and have sex and i either finish before i even get it in, or i dont even get an erection even though it feels awesome. If you could let me know id be so thankful!
the only way to cure or remedy the issue, is not masturbating and watching porn for a few months, depending on how excessive you masturbate. masturbation initiates higher stimulation, then having sex, thats why you fet ed.
I am 20 years old I have been seeing this girl for the passed couple weeks and we have been having amazing sex. She called me the other day and asked me to come over because she was horny so I did and I got hard right away but after have sex for about 10 minutes I lost it randomly and I couldn't get hard again. I was so embarrasses and have never had a problem like that. It been a couple days and I still have been unable to get a hard on even when I'm by myself. It's really starting to concern me.
Stop masturbation for some time or reduce masturbation. To control your sexual urge, learn abdominal breathing. Google it. Parctice every day. And to control your sexual urge, use slow, deep and even abdominal breathing. With little practice you will be able to control and regain you stamina. Masturbation does not do permanant damage.
I'm with you man. I'm 22 and since my last GF I've found I've been having issues. Me and my current gf, the absolute love of my life, we got going in the bedroom on boxing day and I just struggled to get it up and I had to make up excuses but it was really embarrassing and I was so ready for it too. I'm not getting morning wood anymore and even after waking up from sexual dreams it's just not there. I don't drink, smoke, my diet is good and I get regular exercise and I'm not on any medication. I'm also absent from porn as I have been for several months now so I don't have a clue what the problem is. I think that the best advice for us both is just to consult the doctor about it because it could be a simple solution or even just be a phase? Good luck man
I feel you bro, Im also 21 & the last 3 times Ive tried, Ive been completely humiliated & embarrassed. IDK what to do, I used to drink ALOT when I was young, did way too many drugs, and smoked weed on the daily.I also used to watch porn+ Jack off too much. But I have dropped all these bad habits.I am pretty healthy for all I kno, & I dont take any medication, I SHOULD NOT be having this problem, it's driving me crazy!! Having beautiful girls in your bed asking for the D, & not being able to get/keep an erection is sickening. My tongue/finger game strong AF, only because I can't please them any other way smdh.I felt so self concious about taking girls out,& getting made fun of again, that I just gave up, & was really depressed for awhiile. I feel like my life is passing me by, and I cant even accomplish a single night of
proper sex. What do I do?!!!
I am 23 years old , I have been having the same problem , when i am with my girl I cannot get an erection hard enough to penetrate , it's either at half mast or not hard at all. It is very embarassing as I have tried to have sex 8-9 times now. Please help
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