Aa
24?!?!?!
I'm only 24 and have trouble getting and sustaining a good, strong erection. This probably started happening to me about a year ago. I was so mortified the first time that it happened that even at the slightest prospect of engaging in a sexual act I will find myself worried that it might happen again. Lately I've begun to come out of my shell a little more and have been meeting a lot of new (and beautiful) women. I have no problem talking to these women or becoming sexual with them. It is when it really comes down to it and I'll just lose it. Sometimes I can't get it up at all. Sometimes it'll stay hard all through foreplay and as soon as I reach for the condom it's gone. Like most people my age there is usually a considerable amount of alcohol involved in these interactions and I know that can have an effect on one's sexual ability. I'm also a smoker and have heard that nicotine can have negative effects in that area as well. Also, I habitually smoke marijuana (2-3 times daily). Has that ever been linked to sexual difficulties? I'm just confused, frustrated, and, mostly, embarrassed. Is there anything I can do to combat this? Drugs? Supplements? Meditation? I feel like I am way too young for this to even be an issue for me and most of the people my age I've spoken to about this say that it has never happened to them. Please help!
is there is any exercise or special food for good erection.
christo
christo
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to your 20’s! Erections go up and down. You’ll find this happening all your life. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex, but you have to let go of such a narrow definition of what constitutes “good.”
Much of your problem is due to your attitude. Once you experienced anything less than what you call a “good strong” erection, you started feeling anxious and judging yourself, which can be a vicious circle. The more you worry about erections, the more your penis won’t cooperate. In fact, it can be downright rebellious!
Language is such a good indicator of attitude. When you say “good, strong” erection, it tells me that you think erections have to be a certain way. Many men feel that if their erection goes down even a tiny bit, there’s something wrong with them. Where does this come from?
Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Ask yourself whether you have any conflicts about being sexual—any old messages that might be lurking in your subconscious.
Marijuana generally does not have sexual side effects, but everyone reacts differently to regular intake. In some, it enhances sexual desire; however, others find it distracts them sexually and can interfere with erection and/or orgasm. Alcohol and nicotine can definitely interfere with your vascular system, which can also affect erections. If you’re concerned about this, refrain from smoking/drinking, etc. for a week and see if there’s any change.
You can generally determine whether your condition may be physically related by the following: when you wake up, do you notice your erections are firmer than during partner sex? If so, then your body is working fine—it’s your heart/brain that’s getting in the way once you’re fully awake.
For more information about erection issues, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available in paperback and is an invaluable resource.
Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. Give yourself permission to enjoy whatever happens—and find partners who aren’t hung up on performances issues either. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
Much of your problem is due to your attitude. Once you experienced anything less than what you call a “good strong” erection, you started feeling anxious and judging yourself, which can be a vicious circle. The more you worry about erections, the more your penis won’t cooperate. In fact, it can be downright rebellious!
Language is such a good indicator of attitude. When you say “good, strong” erection, it tells me that you think erections have to be a certain way. Many men feel that if their erection goes down even a tiny bit, there’s something wrong with them. Where does this come from?
Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Ask yourself whether you have any conflicts about being sexual—any old messages that might be lurking in your subconscious.
Marijuana generally does not have sexual side effects, but everyone reacts differently to regular intake. In some, it enhances sexual desire; however, others find it distracts them sexually and can interfere with erection and/or orgasm. Alcohol and nicotine can definitely interfere with your vascular system, which can also affect erections. If you’re concerned about this, refrain from smoking/drinking, etc. for a week and see if there’s any change.
You can generally determine whether your condition may be physically related by the following: when you wake up, do you notice your erections are firmer than during partner sex? If so, then your body is working fine—it’s your heart/brain that’s getting in the way once you’re fully awake.
For more information about erection issues, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available in paperback and is an invaluable resource.
Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. Give yourself permission to enjoy whatever happens—and find partners who aren’t hung up on performances issues either. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
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