You're certainly right about the fact that stress can create performance anxiety. In fact, the idea of sex as PERFORMANCE rather than pleasure, is a major factor. The less pressure you put on yourself, the more you can relax and, together with your girlfriend, talk about possibilities. A hard penis isn't necessary for great sex. Creativity and attitude are much more important. I recommend an excellent book: "The New Male Sexuality," by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It contains lots of helpful information about erections, etc. Dr. J
Thanks for your cooncern and help. My issue is that my girlfriend wants intercourse and I'm not hard enough for pentration and don't stay even medium hard for long. Without telling me, she even went so far as to obtain a ring that slowly gives out chemicals that act as a contraceptive device. I also want to have intercourse with her, too.
Her wanting intercourse, coupled with my physical issue, is very stressful and could make things worse by causing performance anxiety.
Thanks very much.
Hi Doug:
I’m not quite clear on what your complaint is. From reading your post, I gather you’re having p-v sex with your girlfriend and having orgasms. So what is your concern? Are you not enjoying yourself, or are you wanting something different? It sounds like you want something else, but I’m not sure what it is.
About your general health issues: You have sleep apnea, which is exacerbated by your being overweight and out of shape. Not only does that interfere with YOUR sleep, but I’d suspect that your girlfriend might be a bit sleep-deprived too. So any weight loss is going to help both of you sleep better and will brighten your mood as well.
You ask if exercise would help with erection concerns. It’s certainly not going to change your condition of venal leakage, but it will definitely help with your self-image and give you more energy and confidence. And here’s the bonus: once you feel better about yourself, you’ll feel better about your sexuality too.
This forum only discusses psychological and emotional concerns related to erection. For information regarding Cialis and Trimix, please post in the Urological Expert Forum. However, you should also check with your personal doctor, who knows your own unique medical history and can make informed recommendations. Good luck! Dr. J