It's happening again...completely hopeless feeling

[Bigboi223]

So it's happening again.  

I've met an amazing girl, have been seeing her for the past month and have not hooked up, and then on Saturday, we went to have sex for the first time and I failed miserably.  I found myself feeling aroused and then the moment she said she wanted to have intercourse, I immediately went limp.  Even with her performing oral on me, I could not even gain the slightest erection.  What is wrong with me!?!?!?!?! This problem has been happening WAY TOO LONG for me to be calm about it anymore and it really does damage personal relationships.  I had to pop 20 mg of Cialis just to have sex and I've been noticing that it's losing its effectiveness for me.  Also, I went to fill out a prescription this morning for more Cialis and my insurance company won't cover it.  Am I just doomed to not be able to have sex anymore because I can't afford buying the pills out of pocket?  Is it safe to by generic versions of this medication online?  I'm sick of this.  I'm 26 years old and should not be having this issue.  For Christ's sake I should be in my prime right now.  I masturbate about 2-3 times per day and my f-ing erections are still weak and take forever to get hard (only achieve about 85-90% firmness these days).  I don't know what to do anymore.  I hate taking pills to have sex because at my age, I'd like for it to be a spontaneous thing, but it's not.  It's an f-ing chore and I hate it.  What can I possibly do at this point?  My doctors all say I'm 100% healthy and that there's nothing wrong with me.  I'm an athlete, eat very clean and stay in shape.  I don't know why my penis is not cooperating.  PLEASE HELP BEFORE I SNAP!!!

Also, have another couple of questions (sorry for the length of this post) but I think this might be helpful:

I'm 26, and masturbate about 2-3 times per day and have been doing so for some time.  Mainly because I find myself curious to see if my erections will ever get back to being their rigid "stand-on-end" selves and they never do.  They will fill up and get hard for some time; however, they never remain hard for long.  

Also, I've been a daily marijuana smoker for years; however, have visited about 6 urologists and 4 primary care physicians about this who have all told me that if anything, marijuana acts as an aphrodisiac.  I even stopped smoking for a period of 2 months just to test it out and see if it helped...it didn't.

Lastly, and this is a very particular questions.  I find that even if I'm not 100% hard during foreplay, as soon as I begin having intercourse, my erections are firm and strong and do not go limp.  Basically, it's the time between foreplay (where it takes some time and coaxing to get hard) and the time it takes to put a condom on and actually begin having intercourse is where I have the most difficulty maintaining erection.  I guess my question is, is if I'm able to have great sex and stay hard while during intercourse, does this sound as though it'd be a physicial issue or more psychological?  As I said above, I'm perfectly healthy, this is just really starting to take a mental toll and physical toll on me since it's been happening for so long with zero resolution and I just met a great girl.  This issue has DESTROYED past relationships and I really want one to work out this time.  PLEASE HELP!

[Bigboi223]

I appreciate the comments.  I forgot to mention in my above post that I went and saw a sex therapist for about six months.  Believe me, I've explored every avenue at this point.  My primary care physician basically told me that I need to just accept my body can't get erections on its own and I need to take a pill.  Sorry, but I just don't accept that.

[jr_inmex]

I pretty much agree with the above post - you need to calm down, re-assess, strongly note the positives in your present circumstance (your age and good health), and determine what can be done to improve the situation.  As far as generic ED medicines, definitely try it.  The stuff from India is very reliable (in my experience) and cheap.  Then try to ascertain the very smallest amount that works with whatever drug you pick (Viagra, Cialis, Levitra) - get some successes under your belt.   At 26, in good health, and with an active libido, you probably *should not* need anything, but the knowledge (and confidence) going in that you've taken something that almost certainly will help would seem to be paramount right now.  Then you can try to go without to see what happens.   The excessive masturbation to 'test things' is not rational - you have to break that part of the current cycle.  Sex should be fun (even funny), not a serious 'event' that is either a win/loss like a baseball game - you're putting too much pressure on yourself.  

[AnnieBrooke]

It sounds like it's getting so obsessive for you (you masturbate two or three times a day just to see if you erections have suddenly gotten slightly harder or softer?) that it would benefit you to see a psychologist or psychiatrist that specializes in sexual issues.

No matter what your docs say, my experience of guys who smoke a lot of marijuana is that they never had reliable erections.  

Finally, masturbating two or three times a day will definitely put a damper on things in the live-sex-with-real-woman department.  It's difficult to get a third erection in a day.  Also, masturbating is more of a control issue -- you don't have to face issues with a real person, you can please yourself just the way you want, and don't have to try to please someone else.  Talk to the therapist about performance anxiety and ways people have of avoiding it.