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Maintaining Penetration Strength Erection
I'm a very fit athletic 39 year old male, but I have a problem maintaining erections hard enough for penetration. Unlike many of the posts on here this is not a new problem for me I've always been this way.
During sexual intercourse with any partner over the years, my sexual excitement has generally lead to a semi hard penis which only became fully hard at the last moments prior to ejaculation after lots of stimulation and usually after stuffing the penis into my partners vagina. I also take a long time to ejaculate and often I have had sexual encounters which were hot but still I might not actually come. Of note on average once a week I wake up with a penetration strength hard on, but it tends not to last even when thinking about sexual fantasies .... the problem isn't the erections themselves but maintaining them at penetration strength ... the erection at penetration strength is a relatively momentary thing for me. I've tried the penile excercises [Kegal] and certainly they help with the hardness but not the maintaing of the hard erections.
Sex has never been a big part of my relationships as I've always tended to avoid it to be honest, just too much effort ! I've had some exciting sexual encounters over the last few year and have only been able to maintain even acceptable erections by using Viagra or Cialis and usually I have not come in these encounters.
I've spoken to my Doctor who has prescribed Viagra/Cialis which has helped to some extent but not resolved the problem as before sex I worry about whether I can maintain my erection etc etc
Of note I masturbate to porn regularly and have no problem ejaculating and getting a hard on before ejaculating. Again though my penis is mainly semi erect not fully hard for the duration of the porn stimulation but only achieving penetration strength with manual stimulation and holding it only for a relatively short while prior to ejaculating.
Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you
During sexual intercourse with any partner over the years, my sexual excitement has generally lead to a semi hard penis which only became fully hard at the last moments prior to ejaculation after lots of stimulation and usually after stuffing the penis into my partners vagina. I also take a long time to ejaculate and often I have had sexual encounters which were hot but still I might not actually come. Of note on average once a week I wake up with a penetration strength hard on, but it tends not to last even when thinking about sexual fantasies .... the problem isn't the erections themselves but maintaining them at penetration strength ... the erection at penetration strength is a relatively momentary thing for me. I've tried the penile excercises [Kegal] and certainly they help with the hardness but not the maintaing of the hard erections.
Sex has never been a big part of my relationships as I've always tended to avoid it to be honest, just too much effort ! I've had some exciting sexual encounters over the last few year and have only been able to maintain even acceptable erections by using Viagra or Cialis and usually I have not come in these encounters.
I've spoken to my Doctor who has prescribed Viagra/Cialis which has helped to some extent but not resolved the problem as before sex I worry about whether I can maintain my erection etc etc
Of note I masturbate to porn regularly and have no problem ejaculating and getting a hard on before ejaculating. Again though my penis is mainly semi erect not fully hard for the duration of the porn stimulation but only achieving penetration strength with manual stimulation and holding it only for a relatively short while prior to ejaculating.
Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you
dear friend, i do t agree with some of the opinions.
i have been giving herbal medicines to all such guys of your age group who feel lack of erection or strength in penis , most of them(99%) responded well to the medicine . i never use a herb that works on mental level as such , that is no psyco somatic healing.
infact sexual problems r rarely psycological. this statement is something contarary to conventional thinking. just relax and try to find out reason.why there is lack of strenth. just lie down on bed and breath seeply and slowly try to fill the abdomen while you inhale. just close your eyes for 5 minutes and feel more light hearty and confident.
note that filling of abdomen with air during inhalation is something taht will help improve circulation in genital reason this will alsohelp improving erection .(if practised for a few days. for further help or assitance regarding medicine you can contact me.
drjai india.
http://suferringfrommaleimpotence.blogspot.com/
i have been giving herbal medicines to all such guys of your age group who feel lack of erection or strength in penis , most of them(99%) responded well to the medicine . i never use a herb that works on mental level as such , that is no psyco somatic healing.
infact sexual problems r rarely psycological. this statement is something contarary to conventional thinking. just relax and try to find out reason.why there is lack of strenth. just lie down on bed and breath seeply and slowly try to fill the abdomen while you inhale. just close your eyes for 5 minutes and feel more light hearty and confident.
note that filling of abdomen with air during inhalation is something taht will help improve circulation in genital reason this will alsohelp improving erection .(if practised for a few days. for further help or assitance regarding medicine you can contact me.
drjai india.
http://suferringfrommaleimpotence.blogspot.com/
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Good luck to you. Check back in with us if you'd like. We care. Dr. J
Thank you for taking the time to reply Doctor and of course you offer good advice. I'll make an appointment with a urologist and take it from there, I need to move past this as you say.
I greatly appreciate the replies.
Thank you
I greatly appreciate the replies.
Thank you
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hello again.
You're doing yourself a disservice by comparing yourself to "most guys." There's that performance pressure again! You're not them; you're you--your own unique self. You are who you are. Please realize that everyone is different, and that one of our tasks in life is to discover just who we are, make our peace with that and get on with the business of being happy. Once again, I suggest that you see a urologist for a complete work-up to rule out any serious physical condition. Once you know a bit more about your unique physiology, you can make your peace with it and get on with having a great sex life. Dr. J
You're doing yourself a disservice by comparing yourself to "most guys." There's that performance pressure again! You're not them; you're you--your own unique self. You are who you are. Please realize that everyone is different, and that one of our tasks in life is to discover just who we are, make our peace with that and get on with the business of being happy. Once again, I suggest that you see a urologist for a complete work-up to rule out any serious physical condition. Once you know a bit more about your unique physiology, you can make your peace with it and get on with having a great sex life. Dr. J
Dear Doctor J,
I really appreciate the time you have taken to reply, and it is helpful and I agree that a significant portion of this is anxiety based and each time it happen the cycle of anxiety is only increased ! However I think the main point I was trying to make was missed in that I've never had the ability to maintain an erection strong enough to penetrate for any significant duration. With me a penatrative strength erection is relatively momentary and always has been whether masturbating or with a partner.
Most guys get hard on at the start of a sexual session and are able to maintain it right through until completion. Not to be indelicate, I am bisexual and so I know this from pratical personal experience with guys.
I have not seen a urologist but my doctor did have an ultrasound carried out and stated there were no physical problems he could find.
Again I appreciate the time taken to reply and any practical guidance is gratefully received.
Thank You
I really appreciate the time you have taken to reply, and it is helpful and I agree that a significant portion of this is anxiety based and each time it happen the cycle of anxiety is only increased ! However I think the main point I was trying to make was missed in that I've never had the ability to maintain an erection strong enough to penetrate for any significant duration. With me a penatrative strength erection is relatively momentary and always has been whether masturbating or with a partner.
Most guys get hard on at the start of a sexual session and are able to maintain it right through until completion. Not to be indelicate, I am bisexual and so I know this from pratical personal experience with guys.
I have not seen a urologist but my doctor did have an ultrasound carried out and stated there were no physical problems he could find.
Again I appreciate the time taken to reply and any practical guidance is gratefully received.
Thank You
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hi there.
The key here is that you state that you have no problems with orgasm and erection during self-pleasuring. This tells us that your anxiety and worrying is hindering your ability to relax and enjoy partner sex. As you said, it becomes too much like work, so you avoid it.
You’ve also raised an important point to share with other men: that Viagra and Cialis only work on your plumbing; they don’t help with your THOUGHTS and emotions. That’s where you come in.
I’m noticing that you use words like “acceptable erections” and “penetration strength.” I know it’s very difficult not to think of sex as performance because everything you read and hear tells you otherwise.
Men receive so many messages that sex is about performance and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game.
The more you think of sex as being about performance, the more worries you'll have. If you're stressed, then you worry even more. And this can be a vicious circle. For most of us, sex is about fun and pleasure. If you think of it as performance, or a “job,” you set yourself for a stressful experience. Remember: Performance can be the enemy of pleasure and fun. When you’re self-pleasuring, you’re relaxed; thus everything is easier.
I have no idea about any physiological condition you have that’s affecting blood flow to your penis. I wonder if you’ve seen a urologist who specializes in this issue? If not, I hope you’ll consider it.
Whatever physical condition you have, you can have a great sex life if you’ll stop putting this performance pressure on yourself. Many women aren’t that concerned with p-v sex as the end-all/be-all anyway. Learn to relax with a partner, experiment with non-penetrative sex (e.g., oral and manual stimulation), discover what feels good for you, and watch a whole new world open up. Good luck. Dr. J
The key here is that you state that you have no problems with orgasm and erection during self-pleasuring. This tells us that your anxiety and worrying is hindering your ability to relax and enjoy partner sex. As you said, it becomes too much like work, so you avoid it.
You’ve also raised an important point to share with other men: that Viagra and Cialis only work on your plumbing; they don’t help with your THOUGHTS and emotions. That’s where you come in.
I’m noticing that you use words like “acceptable erections” and “penetration strength.” I know it’s very difficult not to think of sex as performance because everything you read and hear tells you otherwise.
Men receive so many messages that sex is about performance and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game.
The more you think of sex as being about performance, the more worries you'll have. If you're stressed, then you worry even more. And this can be a vicious circle. For most of us, sex is about fun and pleasure. If you think of it as performance, or a “job,” you set yourself for a stressful experience. Remember: Performance can be the enemy of pleasure and fun. When you’re self-pleasuring, you’re relaxed; thus everything is easier.
I have no idea about any physiological condition you have that’s affecting blood flow to your penis. I wonder if you’ve seen a urologist who specializes in this issue? If not, I hope you’ll consider it.
Whatever physical condition you have, you can have a great sex life if you’ll stop putting this performance pressure on yourself. Many women aren’t that concerned with p-v sex as the end-all/be-all anyway. Learn to relax with a partner, experiment with non-penetrative sex (e.g., oral and manual stimulation), discover what feels good for you, and watch a whole new world open up. Good luck. Dr. J
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