Aa
Problems with my penis
Hi. I have a girlfriend and everything is good but whenever we try to do anything beyond making out, my penis fails me. It starts out hard when we make out but then collapses even when i think I am horny. I end up feeling miserable and a failure and cannot continue. Sometimes it is because I feel numb or sad and sometimes I don;t know why but when she reaches for it, it goes down. This is a girl i love but I cannot feel I am letting her down. What should I do and how should I go about this?
Don't ever be worried, I had that problem, so it caused me to become more creative-you know that saying-if you feel bad about your lemon make lemonade. It is just a time in your life when your not sure about having intercourse, I'm sure you have sucess when she has her total concentration on you-it's called mutual masturbation, she does you and then you do her or visa versa.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Erections go up and down. You’ll find this happening all your life. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex, but you have to adjust your attitude and relax. I suspect that once your penis didn’t respond on command, you started feeling anxious and judging yourself, which can be a vicious circle. The more you worry about erections, the more your penis won’t cooperate. In fact, it can be downright rebellious!
Many men feel that if their erection goes down even a tiny bit, there’s something wrong with them. Where does this come from?
Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Ask yourself whether you have any conflicts about being sexual—any old messages that might be lurking in your subconscious.
For more information about erection issues, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available in paperback and is an invaluable resource.
Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. Give yourself permission to enjoy whatever happens—and talk to your girlfriend about this issue. I'm sure she doesn't feel let down by you, and I'm also sure she'll be supportive and underestanding if you share your feelings with her. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
Many men feel that if their erection goes down even a tiny bit, there’s something wrong with them. Where does this come from?
Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Ask yourself whether you have any conflicts about being sexual—any old messages that might be lurking in your subconscious.
For more information about erection issues, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available in paperback and is an invaluable resource.
Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. Give yourself permission to enjoy whatever happens—and talk to your girlfriend about this issue. I'm sure she doesn't feel let down by you, and I'm also sure she'll be supportive and underestanding if you share your feelings with her. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
You are reading content posted in the Erectile Dysfunction Forum
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
