my boyfriend can't keep focus during sex and worries too much he will come too fast then gets soft and can't get it up again..what do we/I do?

[katwoman7]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months now.  Without a doubt, he is crazy attracted to me, finds me irrisistable, and can't keep his hands off me.  Say's I'm the best sex he's ever had, most passionate too. I'm not worried or insecure about this.  Before he met me, he hadn't had sex for a year, since his last girlfriend, I respect that a lot.  I've been the first girl he's been with in a year. (he had mentioned to me when he was younger didn't really like sex. and has had problems in the past with girls to get hard, or he comes too fast)  Since we have been together, he has struggled not to come with in 3-5 minutes of sex.  Or when we have four play, he pleases me so much, (great with his hands, fingers, mouth..amazing) and I think during that time, he had been getting hard, and when I can't take it anymore and want penetration, he is still soft..when the whole time, it seems he is really turned on by my moaning and everything else..??  He says he is really turned on, then why is he soft??????????  He is a great guy and wants nothing to do but please me and visa versa!  I can give him a great ********, there's not problem with him getting hard when I do that, but then he needs to come within 3 minutes and there it goes!  So, he gets frusterated with himself, focus's soooo hard not to come, then gets very soft.  He tries and tries to get it hard again but it continues to be the same inevitable battle.  Poor guy, he has gone through some lengths to help this..he purchased one of those rings you put at the base of the penis to prevent coming..then he buys from time to time those sexual stamina pills, they work, it gets him up for sure, but we don't wanna rely on chemicals in our sex life.. We need help.  I appreciate so much you taking the time.  And it is so important that I get a real answer and not just a random person's opinion.  HE SAY'S: "I don't know babe..it's just all in my head..gosh! what's the problem?! I'm just soo focused on not coming then I get soft!  I want to please you so much, what is wrong with me?!  The poor guy doesn't even know what's wrong with him..even he's in the dark, so where does that leave me, in the darkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE NEED HELP! What can we do???  What else can we do?  WHAT????!  
Thank you .

[trdofbeingtrd]

Also, Katwoman, condoms can work to keep the sensitivity down and make it where he won't get off to easy.

[LukeAdams37]

hi, i used to have a similar problem. There is a lot of pressure on us guys to perform, but its all in our minds! What helped me was to masterbate infront on my girlfirend on my own. I felt really uncomfortable do this as first becuase its quite a private thing. But it has actually made me more relaxed. When i am with her now, its like we dont have any secrets and we have share something very personal, and i dont get embarrassed about it any more. Now, sex usually lasts up to an hour, sometimes a lot more. If we're having a quickie, then i can still *** in 4-5mins. Could be worth a try and see if it makes him more relaxed.

[Myron_Long]

my answer was intended for katwoman.

[trdofbeingtrd]

No offense, but I think you are a tad confused, I never said he should be hard all the time, I said nothing about oral sex, I am a man, and I just said he should get off more (masturbation) so that he is not so sensitive.

[Myron_Long]

just because he is giving you oral sex and all this other stuff to please you doesn't mean he should be hard that entire time. perhaps he is a man that gets hard from stimulation to the penis. he needs to feel you touch his privates or something just to get him excited.

[chrissoez]

i agree, perhaps trd is right here. or try putting some sexy music on or something that's going to take his mind off things. i know sometimes i get things in my head and you think about them so much that the sex is not so good.  or perhaps watch a porno together. he will most probably like that

[trdofbeingtrd]

Calm down katwoman :-)

I think I know what will help and it's something I still do if I am getting off to soon with my wife.

Have him masturbate and get off about 4 hours before having sex. If he still gets off fast, have him masturbate once a day, and after he masturbates, have sex about 4 to 5 hours after. I am guessing he might not be circumcised. When a guy is sensitive, he is sooo attracted to you and enjoys sex so much with you, he just gets off fast. Take it as a compliment. I doubt I am wrong.

Tell me how this works.