Failed IVF - heartbreaking and very tearful.

[MAR13]

My first IVF didn't work. I actually didn't think that this can be so painful and emontionally wreckless. I just hope that my second time will be more successful. I don't even know what is wrong with me, no freaking explanation from the doctors either.
I actually had a blood test yesterday, which was 14 days after ovulation and was negative. I just want to know why am I still having the symptoms. My period is late (but then again it is the progesterone) and I am feeling very shaky and the abdominal pain and pelvic pain is just overbearring. I am also very light headed right now. What is happening, is this a normal reaction after failed IVF, does anyone knows what is going on with me.

[Tima]

I'm so sorry. Did your dr order a second blood test or the HCG is too low or zero? My HCG was below 5 in my first IVF so it was a negative, did not do a second test. It is very heartbreaking, I know. But please do take care of yourself. I think if you are still having symptoms still, doc should do another test. I did not have any symptoms. I started my period 2 days after I stopped the progestrone.

[MAR13]

Well, I stopped progesterone yesterday.  However, I forgot to ask the nurse (since I was fighting the tears ;-( ) what kind of test are they using... I hope that my clinic is not using the yes or no test but rather the quantity beta test. I will see the doctor on Thursday and ask her. The nurse said that I might be getting my period Wedn or Thursday but that is kind of late. I am just wondering what are my chances for the second IVF, especially that I had 3 embryos at the blastocyst stage... I guess my doctors will have to do something different now.

[Tima]

I am sure they did the beta. They had you stop your progestrone, hcg was definetly less than 5. I have 5 frozen embryo (blasts stages) left. Since they did stick to the lining, dr thinks maybe the linning was not strong enough to hold. So we have taken a month off and next period she will do more work with the uterus to see if there is anything else going on. I have my next appt on 4/17 so will plan things then. FET has almost the same rate of success as the fresh I heard. Good luck.

[MAR13]

Thank you and good luck to you too. I don't have any frozen embryos left, but I will take a 1 month break and then come back to have my 2nd IVF. Last time I had 3 embryos in the blastocyst stage. I have an appt on Thursday with the doctor, so she will probably tell me what is the next step.

[SWEETPEA1975]

MAR13
I AM SO sorry to hear what you are going through.  I know how tough it can be on you both physcially and emotionally
I did my first IVF as well In Feb and the embryo did catch but the doctors are now telling me that it stopped growing just as I was entering my 6th week
I am so sorry but we both have to be positive and hopeful that our 2nd IVF will work for us

[BabyforLori]

Hi honey.  I just now have been able to get on-line to find out how you are doing!  You are breaking my heart hon, I just feel so bad for you.  I know it does not make any sense.  I felt the same way after I lost my baby due to the ectopic.  The lightheadness is probably due to all the stress after hearing the news, however, if this becomes extreme, get right to a dr.  Do you have any family member nearby that can be with you during the day so you are not alone?   I know that I just spoke to you yesteday for the first time, but I really do understand your sorrow.  Try not to stress yourself out too much.  Someone reminded me yesterday, after her failed 1st IVF, to remember that you can always try again.  For her, it worked the second time.  There is hope.  It is just hard to see that right now.  Please keep in touch and write me whenever you want.

[seazshell]

I have been there.  My first IVF failed as well.  The symptoms stay with you for a while I think because of the crazy changes your body has incurred.  You'll be fine.

You're RE did not tell you anything?  That is something you need to question right away and don't stop pressuring him until you get the answers you are looking for.  That was my DH advice to me and I found it helped me to get over the miserable feelings of dissappointment; once I had the information I was searching for.  I felt it was all my fault, like I did something I had done wrong until I got a good explaination.
Please keep us posted.  We're here for your support.  I completed my 2nd IVF today.

[mariepresley]

well i have had 6 failed IUI's and just found out today, i have my 1st failed IVF, not a record i like to keep.
can't stop crying, mad at the world, the drs, GOD, myself.  i  must have did something wrong.  have to go in for a IVF post cycle, just so depressed, how can i cope.

[storm731]

Well i have been trying for 7 years, all failed IVF's and out of money.  I am not a movie star nor am I rich who have that kind of cash to dish-out.  Just mariepresley, I can't stop crying, mad at the world, the doctors, my partner, GOD, myself. I must have did something wrong. I don't want to give hope because I am 38yrs old, but how can I go on with no more money and in debit so I can't get a loan.  Just so depressed how can I cope this is life or death for me not to have a child.  I don’t know what I am asking for, but some help or maybe someone should do a talk show on this big problem.

Sign,
Katena

[edith746]

Please don't give up.  A lot of people on this board know exactly how you feel including myself...it's a terrible, terrible feeling that no one who hasn't been through it understands.  I heard Oprah just had an episode on infertility last week.  I missed it, but she said they had all different types of people and couples on that have struggled with infertility.  Here is a link from her website http://www2.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200710/tows_past_20071009.jhtml  
Pleae keep in touch if you want to talk to someone who knows exactly what you are going through.

[beauty70]

i know how your feeling just had 5th failed..feel as if im dieing inside and know body understands like you i got over previous cycles by going straight into next cycle but money is gone now and as a couple were pulled apart dont know if we,ll survive this......

[Hopeful989]

I have just made 32 and just had my 1st IVF, it was a failure. I found out 2 days ago. My Hcg was 7, the dr wanted me to do a 2nd blood test but I chose not too. Anyway saw my first sign of blood this morning, so I am starting my period (2 days after stopping the progesterone). My husband and I feel terrible. We have no embryos frozen. We only had two that made it to blastocytes, so we are back at the start up line. Although we have one son, he is 8, we still want other kids. We have been trying for a second child for 5 years and this was our last attempt. Not sure what went wrong. Not sure if we will try IVF again. We might just try the traditional way for a while and let GOD do the rest,. Have to schedule a f/u with Dr to find out what could have gone wrong, haven't given up hope.

[mideastmystery]

I have just failed my 5th IVF attempt. No reason why it is not working, I am perfectly healthy and everything goes well until implantation. It is even worse as we are undertaking PGD to try and avoid a life threatening genetic disorder being passed to our kids, so for me, Its horrid (I am the carrier of the disease) and each month we go through the process, i worry will there be enough eggs, will the quality be good enough and will they become embryo's...after this I spend a week worrying if they all make it to 8 cell stage so we can do a biopsy to see which ones are healthy. I have had a couple of cycles where there have been no healthy embryo's (it is devastating) and then a decision must be made, do you implant a carrier? Its not an easy decision to make especially when I dont want to have to see my kids go through what I am doing because they carry the same gene as I do. Anyway, we implant 1 healthy embryo if we have one and then I wait. So far no success, I feel like a failure. My husband is supportive and loving but I dont think he truely understand how this impacts me as i feel its my fault. Anyway, we will give it one more go (same dr for the last few due to the genetic issues). If we are not successfull this time I think we will give it a break. But ladies, its hard and its exciting, stressful and sometimes heartbreaking, but I hope after hearing from so many people that it does happen. Good luck to you all and thanks for sharing your stories and giving me hope and somewhere to try and just voice my thoughts. I find it difficult to talk to my friends as I dont want to be judged for making this decision and dont want to worry my parents or family with these issues either. I feel alone sometimes and am happy to be able to share this with you all. GOOD LUCK everyone.

[ria19]

Hi Everyone,

    I recently had a failed IVF. This was our first IVF. I have this deep sadness in my heart.Never felt so dejected in my life.I do not have energy to do anything. I feel physically and emotionally week.
   To  make things worse..all my friends are either pregnant or have kids.
Good for them, but I feel left out. I feel like we have to move to another city where no one knows us.
  I hope GOD gives us all the strength to deal with this problem.

[fi79]

Hi Everyone,

I too like all of you have recently had a failed IVF cycle. It was our first attempt. Went through with it with all the hope in the world and it hurts so bad when all that hope just got crushed.
I'm from Australia and according to the policy here they only transfer one embryo if you are less than 35 (I'm 30). I was hoping against hope because I was diagnosed mild endometriosis as well.
At this stage we are not sure whether to go through the 2nd cycle or not. The 2nd will be our last if we go through it. More than the expenses, I don't think I can handle another failed cycle. It is absolutely heartbreaking.  

[almondeyes]

Hello everyone,

I just had my first failed IVF cycle and I am heart broken. We have been trying for 2 years to have another child and I was a donor and was able to produce 21 eggs and I kept 10 of the eggs. I had 8 fertilized, and 4 made it to freezing and one was transferred and I am so crushed to know that nothing happened. I just feel horrible. I am blessed to have a beautiful daughter, however I want more kids...... I feel lost and confused and not to mention disconnected from my husband. I am considering doing another cycle, but I am too scared about the results and not to mention the cost of everything.... Please any advice.

[jax0668]

i have, like all on here, just had a failed ivf cycle. It was my first too after having 2 eggs transferred. I had a scan on 10/01/10 to see one fetal pole with a HB and another fetal pole WITH a HB. Great news for us, but as i had in total 5 gestational sacs (2 empty and the other with a yolk sac) they wanted us back 10 days later. So we were back there Monday just gone to see on screen our baby without a HB. This was devastating news and could not stop crying. I have heard that 2nd attempts at IVF would be more successful although reading this forum tells me different. I hope and pray for you and myself and everybody else TTC that a miracle happens in the result of ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes at least. Best of luck to us all ladies xx

[CaribbeanMom]

Yesterday I had one of the worst phone calls ever...my IVF had failed. My BETA was only up 1 point when it should have been at least 5 - I was crushed. Absolutely devastated. See we really wanted this to take. A year and a half ago we went through the entire process. Had 5 beautiful embryos fertilized to the umpteenth power and guess what happened? when my doctor was getting ready to transfer into my uterus...HE LOST MY EMBRYOS...yes, that's what I said...he lost them. He looked in the catheter and they were not there. Apparently his fingers 'pulled the trigger' without him realizing it...hoooooo, I still hurt to this day when i think about the lost opportunity. We just had a re-do but did not have the same amount or look of embryos...not at all. The first batch, the ones that got lost were a total of 5, beautiful cell 8's. This time around we only had 2 one Grade A-4cell and the other Grade B-2cell...plus another red flag---he transferred on day 2, not 3 or 5, but 2. That to me meant that the embryos didn't look like they were going to survive and they wanted to just transfer and be done with me. I feel so terrible right now. I know that I should not/cannot blame anyone. After all, there are no guarantees! I'm already 43 years old and my husband suffers from low sperm count, but I'm 43 years old....43! I found this wonderful place overseas. It is going to cost me about 35-40% of what I paid the last time and the new doctor seems more aggressive, which my first doctor was not. That's what I need, someone aggressiveness. Anyways, I'm still hurting so I should not post this because there is too much anger in my words. I appreciate your reading this as it certainly makes me feel a tad bit better. Off I go to cry some more. Good luck to you all and to all a good nite.

[honeyglo]

Ugg...Just failed my 5th IVF. Devastated.. and no one with the exception of those who are going through this could possibly understand.I don't want to give up,  but the pain of pursuing this sometimes seems too much to bare.

[ezra16]

I failed my 1st IVF was 3 wks pregnant then started bleeding miscarried of course. I have egg collection today but only have 5 follicles, i hope and pray everything goes fine. It is devistating going through the whole process and getting good news until you get that dreaded phone call after blood tests. All i say to everyone is dont give up, it may seem a milestone but try to keep going.

[rids_v]

i feel ur pain.. i had my first ivf trasnfer done on 8.2.10 -- 5 embies 8 cell each grade I. Did my beta blood work yest and the result was 7.88.... devasted when my doc clininc told me to stop thr progesteron.. wait for the period... i was hopeful.. i dont know what went wrong if everything was so perfect......... and i dont know the way ahead.. any advices.. im listening.. feels like GOD is not with us.

[mamom15]

Hello Ladies,  please do not give up hope.  Reading your stories brought back memories for me.  Not pleasant but I did learn from them.  I had a failed IVF last July.  Did a lot of reasearch, I have unexplained infertility and no male issues.  Like all you wonderful ladies , I was devastatted even though it was my first try at fertility treatment I blamed myself.  After all I was 39.  The 2nd try was much easier and at my insistence my RE increased the dosage.  I also started taking B6 Vit, addnl folic acid+prenatalVit +DHA supps+eating brazil nuts.  I was also told to increase my BMI  to atleast 18 so cut down my running.  I am now 31 weeks+ pregnant with a baby girl.  So please don't give up hope you will have your baby.  I understand how hard and devastating this can be and how much we blame ourself but you will have your hearts desire.  Look at me I am the perfect example.  Good luck!!

[kiser79]

We too have had a history of failed attempts both naturally & artificially. My husband has a low sperm count with little to no motility. I have a history of fluid filled cysyts & mild endometreosis. We have been married 7 years this June 29, 2010, I'm 30 he's 36 & neither of us have ever experienced the miricale of creating our own new life. It depresses me that my friends & family all have there own children already...some didnt even want thiers?! Our faith has really been tested once again. We just failed IVF. I was on birth control (per the RE req) & lupron 10cc for 11 days then once supressed went on follostim 150 for 8. On day 9 before my trigger we had 12 follicles, of the 9 eggs retrieved there was only 1 normal embryo at day 2 it had 3 cells...We were so hopeful overnight that lil embryo would grow. At 8am on 3/26/10 we recieved the call from a nurse..."your embryo stopped growing we are calling to cancel the transfer scheduled for 11:40am" I was shocked, disapointed, heartbroken, angry and full of ?'s There were 7 eggs that were fertilized of the 7 all had double nuclei. They were not splitting correctly or normally except that 1...It's breaking my heart they RSC wouldn't wait at least another couple of days & keep my Hope alive...The RE called an hour later & advised there'd be no reason to transfer. "This was only Day3" I cried in my mind what if we wait a couple more days...I ended up having an ultrasound that same day... now I have a rather large hemoragic cyst. I been off all meds now for 5 days. I still haven't received my period? I'm praying that GOD will work a miracle & we will find ourselves pregnant soon...This is no joke IVF is expensive & with the stories above...some up to 5 failed attempts... Whats the sense of having children when you can't pay your mortgage or provide a life for them? This healthcare reform should be more concerned with people like ourselves instead of all the abortion debating...I Pray for all of us... My husband has said, "I fear that it's beyond GOD's control. I think that it is just circumstance." I'm starting to really wonder if Faith plays any role in our infertility stories...look at all the people in this world who have No Faith... some take drugs & abuse thier bodies, yet they are Blessed with children?  Is this part of God's plan?

[sourlemon]

hello there.. i've read your story.
very sad. hows it now?
i just failed my 1st ivf.
i was 31.
i have 1 daughter.10 years old.
very funny. when i was young i keep getting pregnant when iam not ready so i aborted it. now my daughter grown up and asking for little sister or brother, in other side when we have our 1st baby my hubby done vasectomy to stop me getting pregnant, coz condoms and pils doesnt work to me. now after long years i finally open up my mind and iam really badly wanted a baby. the ivf is torturing.and hubby too must do tesa operation proces to take the sperm out.
i hate neddle. i hate all about ivf, but i close my eyes and endure it just so we can have baby again.my hubby is there every single minute during the ivf. he inject me everyday. he took care of me well.he left all his bussines behind for 1 whole months just to take care of me.
after 1 months pregnancy suddenly one morning i got stomach pain and start bleeding. iam tremble and scared the **** outa me. run to hospital with hubby. doc said i lost one embryo, left 2. so no more tears we go home so happy though we gonna have twin. one week after we back to doc, well all gone :-((. i couldnt talk in front of the doc, i hold my tears. i didnt know it will be this pain. my stomach so pain but i cant feel it. suddenly i feel the world is not moving. so silence. hubby gone crazy he want to beat the doc. its not the doc fault though its just hubby cannot accept the news too. he said a big hammer just hit his head, knock him down. i felt so down, when i walk out from hospital tears all over my face, iam shaking. couldnt talk, couldnt think.i felt like the world is collapsing. i was so mad to GOD. why he do this to me?. whenever i look at my husband i start to cry again. its so pain remembering how much he taking care of me and our daughter during the ivf. he dont even allowed me to carry a handbag. it broke my heart of how i broke my husband heart. when we got the bad news, my daughter cry so badly as well. i dont have power to ask her why she cry. i only said " iam sorry my girl, i failed to give u a sibling.".she answer me " iam sorry mommy maybe i give you too much stres thats why baby gone!" i blame my self for all the failure. feel like stupid ****.i duno how long this feeling wil eat me alive. tell me wat to do.