First IVF at 45 and egg transfer and natural cycle

Hi everyone, just needed to get some support  and share with others that are in similar situation. I am 45 years old and having my first IVF. I had two misscariages and tried several artificial inseminations but had no sucess. Everything is going well and I just had egg aspiration today and they got four eggs out. I am so anxious about what the lab will tell me tomorrow and if eggs will fertilised. I am also worried if my eggs will reach 5th day stage - my egg transfer is planned for next Tuesday. I had an interesting experience with 6 months of acupuncture - my FSH dropped from 11.3 to 7.5 and after doctor told me that my eggs are developing well but my uterus linning is to thin I had acupuncture session and a day later my linning went to 10,5. I am also on imunoglobulin injections as I have thiroid antibodies. My question relates to egg transfer. I am thinking of transfering only one egg and not more as I am very concerned about complications of having twins and triplets. Has anyone had sucess with just one egg transfer. Also, I am thinking of doing natural cycle IVF if I fail this time. Is anyone tried IVF with natural cycle and is over 40 years and had any sucess?

[Helen72]

The best # of embryos to transfer will depend on the quality of your embryos.  If you have embryos of the highest quality, one is a reasonable choice.  If you have so-so embryos, 3 or even more may be reasonable.  

Good luck to you this cycle!!

[SHP]

Helen 72 is right but at your age you may want to consider a more aggressive approach. I am 40 and have transferred 4 two different times.  Once we got BFP but miscarried.  I have also used acupunture and with high FSH had a record ten mature eggs last time.  My embryos looked and divided perfectly but none took.  My RE told me that with my embryos and how perfect they looked he would have transferred 2 under age 35, 3 age 35-38 and 4 over the age of 39 with high FSH.  At our age we have about 80% of our eggs with problems.   I know exactly what you are going through.  I cannot tell you what to do as for the number to transfer.  My RE's philosphy is to act aggressively at my age.  I had to leave it to him for my decision.  I struggled with this.  I had two that made it to the blast stage and were frozen.  I will have them transferred in the future.  The worry with them is that they will not thaw well.  My husband and I would have welcomed twins.  

It only takes one good egg.  I will cross my fingers that you have found it.  Good luck to you!!!!

[zansi]

Hi Helen, thanks for your comment. I am wandering what am I going to do if egg quality is not so good and I do have more then one available... if there is one but good quality it will be easier to decide. What is your situation with IVF? I see from your letter that you were doing IVF in January.

[zansi]

Hi thanks for comments. I am struggling with several issues. It seems that having only one egg transfer lowers my chances to get pregnant but it also increases chances of multiples and complications.  My doctor pointed to me that the issue of more eggs means that I must seriously consider if I can cope with multiple pregnancy. I live in another country and far from my family. My husband and me got separated a year and a half ago and we are now going through a divorce - so I am very alone in this process.   I know that this year might be my last chance to try for baby but I am worried how will I cope on my own and I don't think I can handle multiple pregnancy and babies. Also I worry about complications with multiples. I had complications after my second miscarriage and it was very scary experience. On top of it I cannot afford taking time off work - I am self employed and when I don't work - I don't earn. It is difficult to know what to do but I need to make sure that I can handle whatever is to come.

[zansi]

When do you plan to use your frozen eggs? Do you perhaps know how long one must have a break after IVF to try again? If I fail this IVF my RE suggested IVF on natural cycle but I don't know how long I must wait.

[zansi]

Helen I see you got BFP. I am so new to this forum so please excuse my question - what is BFP? I see it is your first IVF - how are you coping?

[SHP]

The nurse thought that he would start me on BC as soon as I started my period but he told her that he wanted me to wait until my next period.  Of course I will be super stressed and busy next month due to things happening at work and am worried that I will not be able to relax enough. These are my last two with my genes and I don't want to transfer until I am ready.

Don't stress over the number to transfer - talk to your RE - he/she knows best what to do.  Mine has been doing this about 15 years and he has seen it all.  He is the best in my state and has tried everything to help me.  The embryologist was shocked at how good my eggs looked the first time and second.  She said that if she had a 21 year old's embryo's next to mine that you would not be able to tell the difference.  She always instructed me to be "optomistically cautious" with my hopes.  The first time we tried invitro he looked at me after the four embryos were transferred and said "You realize that the odds are this won't work."  He said it very kindly but it was the truth.  The odds were 20% that one would take - 80% that none would.  I told him that I knew my odds going into this but I was going to believe that we were in that 20.   We did get BFP but miscarried.  

The second time we transferred 4 and nothing happened.  I told my RE that I desperatly wanted twins but he told me that with the age of my eggs there was less than a 5% chance for twins.  The thing is - he has seen women our age get BFP.  It is just few and far between - If he thought that it wouldn't work at all he would not try at all.  I keep giving it to God.  

Listen to your specialist and stay "optomsitically cautious".  I will pray for you.  It can happen for us.  I will pray that you have that special egg and a blessed child.  Worrying will not change the outcome for the better.

[zansi]

Thanks for your support. I had news today that two out of four eggs did fertilised but next days will show if both will make it to day five. If only one egg survives to fifth day then there is no option of two eggs anyway. I find that injections and medication is easy part - it is the emotional ups and downs that are so exausting.
How old was your pregnancy when you miscarried? Was it in the first three months?

[SHP]

Yes it was early.  5 1/2 weeks.  I thought that it would be easy - I was suspecting that it was happening - but when they told me I cried for a solid 2 days and spiratically for 2 weeks.  The emotional stuff is horrible.  Friends just don't understand - even if they try.  Most of my friends have had trouble but it was usually trying for a second child.  I have none and I am petrified of being childless.  There is a hole in my life that can only be filled by one thing and I am emotional about that.

I keep praying that God gives me a healthy, normal child and if that cannot be let that cup pass me by.  Everytime we fail I just think that God was answering my prayer.  It is the only way to accept the failure.  I will have to go to a donor egg if these next two snowbabies don't take.  I cannot afford to keep trying with my own eggs.  

I don't understand why I have not been able to have children.  I have anxiety attacks that the donor egg won't work.  That makes me a little crazy.

Hang in there.  I bet that your two are doing great!  I would transfer both if they both make it.  Good luck!!!!

[zansi]

God, this process is so painful. I just heard that only one egg is still ok but it is grade 2 which according to the Lab is not usually good enough for tranfer but they said I must wait till tomorrow to see if egg will develop to garde 3. I know what you mean by people not understanding your process. I find myself very lonely in my struggle and IVF. I lost one friend when I decided to do IVF - she is very religious and she objected so strongly to IVF that it caused break in our friendship.
I had two miscarriages so I know how painful that is. I am so sorry about your loss and I hope that our struggle means that we will get there but we just need to keep trying and not giving up. I am also worring about quality of my eggs but I am not yet ready to try donor eggs. This is my first IVF and if this one does not work I will try at least once or twice before thinking of other options. It seems you are thinking of that option if this time does not work?

[40smama]

I don't blame you for trying IVF a few more times before going to donor eggs.  It's so hard to live w/the disappointment.  I did one IVF cycle w/my own eggs but it was cancelled the day before the retrieval and I was soooooo sad.  I wasn't prepared at all for this particular event - it was a major shock.  I

I couldnt' live going through another disappointment like that so I did go straight to donor eggs but the reason I wrote is to be supportive as I too was 43 at the time of the IVF and by the 2nd time w/donor eggs, I was 44.  Anyway, good luck w/everything.  I hope that one egg becomes a grade 3 so at least you can do the transfer. It broke my heart to read that you're doing this all by yourself.  It's a good thing you found this forum to get the support you need.

Btw, I did get pg w/the donor cycle and had my baby one month ago but again, this post isn't about pushing donor eggs;  it's about giving you support and encouragement - so SSBD to you and remember it only takes one egg & there are women that get pg w/their own eggs.  I remember one woman on the pregnancy 35+ forum who got pg at 43 w/her own eggs - I think her name is ChrisHealy but I might have got the name wrong. - jennifer

[zansi]

Hi and thanks for your support. I was reading your journal and thinking about how many steps is there to cross. I am too scared to even think of how would I cope without any help or support if I ever get to a point to have a baby. I am just thinking one step at the time but reading your story just made me aware how hard it is to cope with baby and slepless nights and how exausting the process is...
I am already feeling exausted... I am also doing renovation of my new place that I bought and I am trying to sell the place I was living with my husband. I felt that it was not good for me to stay in the place that was a reminder. I need to move on. Unfortunatelly all is happening at the same time. IVF and renovations of new place and selling of old place and our divorce. There are days when I don't know if I am coming or going. It is very hard to keep the head above the water all the time. I am feeling very down in the last three days but it is probably the progesterone. Since I been taking it I feel depressed and not so well physically. I am waiting to hear tomorrow if my one egg will make it for tranfer or not. This is soo hard emotionally..waiting to see this... waiting to see that.
I hope you will manage during the time your husband is away. If you get mad or down write us a note - I am sure one of us ladies will be there to chat and support you.

[zansi]

Hi there, how did you survive weekend? I hope you and you little one managed ok.

[miky72]

How are you?
Any good news to share?
SSSBD

[zansi]

Hi Miky, IVF Lab said that my one surviving embrio is on slow side and it only developed to four cells on day three. From Sunday it has been placed in incubator for 48 hours and they cannot disturb it or look at it so only tomorrow at 9 am they will phone me to tell me if my embryo reached blastocyst stage. If I am that lucky then transfer ill be done tomorrow afternoon. Gosh... this waiting is killing me. I have been researching a lot on blastocyst and transfer on day five versus day three. It seems that if embryos reach day five chances for preganancy are much higher then embryos transfered on day three. Do you know anyone that had transfer on day five? Have you done yours on day three?

[miky72]

Hi,
I have done day 5 and day 3.Both time I got pregnant but the first time was ectopic and the second time it was a blighted ovum..
My new RE says that there is not such a big difference on doing day 3 or day 5 .
I wish you best of luck for tomorrow.It only take 1 to get pregnant!!!
SSBD,
Miky

[Helen72]

BFP = big fat positive
You can find most abbreviations people use on this forum at:
http://www.fertilityplus.org/faq/acronyms.html

[zansi]

Thanks for your responses and I better try and catch up on all abbr. that I don't get half of the time. I love BFP - big fat positive... fat never sounded better to me!

[myheartgoes2allu]

Hi,
My heart goes out to you. I am sorry, you are going through so much at the same time. I will pray for you and hope that everything goes well with that egg and you will have a transfer. I went through that, with just one egg and got transfered and bleed after 7days. Another Ivf I went through had only 2 follicles retreived but did not make it to transfer.  I am nervous right now I am at the two week waiting for the hcg test. I did a transfer with a donor 2 eggs 5 day blstcst. I had cramping the first 3 days after transfer but now the cramping  is gone,  I don't know if it is a good thing or bad thing. I had breast tender before the transfer and now is very painful. It feels like the sytoms I would have before my period.

[zansi]

Thanks for your message. I hope you going to get BFP this time - it all it sounds to me like what some other people described when they had implantation. I will pray that you get good news. When is your blood test?
Good luck and let us know your results and when will you get them.

[myheartgoes2allu]

Thank you very much, I needed that.

[zansi]

Girls I am desparate....Another day of waiting. IVF said one embryo reached blastocyst but it is abnormal and not ok for transfer and other embryo is still developing very slowly and now on day five it is on 8 cells divison but it looks ok. They will keep it for another day at incubator and let me know tomorrow. Did any of you have this type of situation? It is driving me nuts...And what if tomorrow they tell me it is not ok for transfer?

[Jackson_Angel]

Thanks for the support ~ hoping all is well for you ~ keep it positive ~ I haven't been on for a couple of weeks as I said on my string for various reasons ~ got up the nerve to call the specialist I was referred to through here ~ the girls on this site are great for the most part ~ had a "stink egg" reference a few months back but considered the source ~ anger can be a horrible thing ~ let us know all the good news ~ I know it will happen for you!!..

[zansi]

Hang in there. My birthday was in December last year and I am trying with my own eggs and I must say my RE was very positive and did not discouraged me  of trying my own eggs for at least two or three cycle and then see what happens. I know few women over 45 that are pregnant or had baby and some even natural - so not all is lost. Try to build positive thinking and images and don't let statistics get you down - we might be that small percentage that will make it!

[zansi]

P.S. I hope you manage to get your DH to agree to give a chance to your own eggs.

[neomie45]

Hi I am also 45 years old and really want to get pregnant, I was pregant at age 40  and 41 but miscarried.  I also did 2 trys of IUI at age 44 with no sucess, I am now 45  and still want to have a baby, can you please email me your doctor's information. . .You give me so much hope!  We are praying for a miracle.  
Thank you!
NV

[Grateful123]

I am  new to this forum and would like to know if there is any women at 45 with successful IVF. Please let me know your positive experience. I need to be inspired. Good luck everyone.

[sxsmj]

Hi,
I had a blastocyst over a week ago. I am nervous and scaried. I am keeping the Faith and have been praying. I was told not to go out and buy a pregnancy test even though I want to sooooooooooooooooo bad.I take the test on Sunday. The wait is killing me.This is my first cycle and we did it with a IC. Did anyone have sucess on their first try? I am 30.

[nikky75]

I did  my ivf a month before my 34th bday and transfer on my 34th bday. I was bless with a baby boy eight months later. I know what u are going through right now, wondering if the procedure is successul or not. I know u are nervous but i will advise u wait for the doctor to do the pregnancy test. Be positive, hold on to ur faith and keeping praying. Praying with u as well that all will be well.

[nikky75]

Has anyone done natural cycle ivf. I just heard about it last month. I'm 36 and thinking of doing natural cycle ivf becos it is less expensive but i need to know how successful it is. I would appreciate any information on it