Aa
Life ***** for me right now
So, I haven't been on in a while. I was trying to figure out a way to explain everything that's been going on in easy terms.
The obvious stress is that we're still not pregnant. I got AF 5 days early the last 2 cycles. My RE had nothing to say about this. Doesn't this indicate that my progesterone is low? My gyn said so, why is my RE not saying so? Also, I started bleeding lightly mid cycle, but my gyn says nothing's wrong. It could be stress-related, too. A good friend who is a nurse says hormones are definitely affected by stress.
Also, my parents lost their entire net worth to that guy Madoff who's been in the news recently with the ponzie scheme. They lost all their money. And it gets even better. My parents pay our mortgage and property taxes and they help my brother and sil significantly with their business. The business is now being closed and Rob and I have to come up with $1900 a month to pay for our place. This is the mortgage and the condo fee.
We should be okay financially for a while, but will need to move out of our beloved home and move out of the city. I'm devastated by this whole thing. My parents worked very hard their whole lives and now my mom is talking about going back to work at age 76. I'm so sad for them. They are the most giving, selfless people I know. Their whole thing is giving and providing and now they are struggling just for themselves. This ha been very hard on them, but especially my dad. I love my parents so much. I'm so worried about their health and state of mind now.
Also, they were going to pay for us to adopt so that dream is gone now, too.
So, cheery, positive Sue is becoming sad, angry, discouraged Sue and I am losing any hope that we will have a child. My gyn is questioning if I'm ovulating properly and the quality of my eggs. I turn 41 on 12/29 so my eggs might be poor quality. My RE says they don't test egg quality until we do IVF, but that won't happen unless my estradiol goes until 80. This cycle it was 226. It was under 80 twice. Once 74 and once 79. But until it is under 80 we're stuck where we are and can't do any more treatments except for one more IUI next cycle. We trying naturally in a few days and will be in DC the whole time. It's wonderful there, so maybe I'll be relaxed enough and have a shot at implanting while we're away.
Our amazing friend, Libby, has offered to carry a baby for us. I am completely blown away by this. We may have to take her up on it, but we'll see...
So, I feel like my life ***** right now. Yet, I keep smiling and laughing and trying to be positive but it's gotten really really really hard. Everything will be okay, though...
~Sue
The obvious stress is that we're still not pregnant. I got AF 5 days early the last 2 cycles. My RE had nothing to say about this. Doesn't this indicate that my progesterone is low? My gyn said so, why is my RE not saying so? Also, I started bleeding lightly mid cycle, but my gyn says nothing's wrong. It could be stress-related, too. A good friend who is a nurse says hormones are definitely affected by stress.
Also, my parents lost their entire net worth to that guy Madoff who's been in the news recently with the ponzie scheme. They lost all their money. And it gets even better. My parents pay our mortgage and property taxes and they help my brother and sil significantly with their business. The business is now being closed and Rob and I have to come up with $1900 a month to pay for our place. This is the mortgage and the condo fee.
We should be okay financially for a while, but will need to move out of our beloved home and move out of the city. I'm devastated by this whole thing. My parents worked very hard their whole lives and now my mom is talking about going back to work at age 76. I'm so sad for them. They are the most giving, selfless people I know. Their whole thing is giving and providing and now they are struggling just for themselves. This ha been very hard on them, but especially my dad. I love my parents so much. I'm so worried about their health and state of mind now.
Also, they were going to pay for us to adopt so that dream is gone now, too.
So, cheery, positive Sue is becoming sad, angry, discouraged Sue and I am losing any hope that we will have a child. My gyn is questioning if I'm ovulating properly and the quality of my eggs. I turn 41 on 12/29 so my eggs might be poor quality. My RE says they don't test egg quality until we do IVF, but that won't happen unless my estradiol goes until 80. This cycle it was 226. It was under 80 twice. Once 74 and once 79. But until it is under 80 we're stuck where we are and can't do any more treatments except for one more IUI next cycle. We trying naturally in a few days and will be in DC the whole time. It's wonderful there, so maybe I'll be relaxed enough and have a shot at implanting while we're away.
Our amazing friend, Libby, has offered to carry a baby for us. I am completely blown away by this. We may have to take her up on it, but we'll see...
So, I feel like my life ***** right now. Yet, I keep smiling and laughing and trying to be positive but it's gotten really really really hard. Everything will be okay, though...
~Sue
I just read this. I am so sorry about your parents and then that affecting you and R. Good lordy, who says white collar crime is not as bad? I wish you did not have this stress and worry, now or ever, for yourself AND your family. The fertility thing is stress enough. Just know we are all here pulling for you...
Hugs,
Lor
Hugs,
Lor
sue when things are rough and they totally s.u.ck its hard to see any light at all. im so sorry about all that has happened and your parents, life can be unfair that is for sure. you have to believe that maybe there are great things to happen soon and it will be glorious for all, that is my wish for you anyway. i follow you every chance i get, a cyber stalker i ;guess lol. you are such a beautiful person that i cant imagine you not having exceptional things happen. i just had to say that..
Thanks everybody. I really appreciate all the kind words and support. It means a lot.
I did have my fsh tested and it's good. They say everything is good and within normal ranges and everything.
I'm in the car heading to DC and I'm getting dizzy typing so I have to to for now.
Hugs,
Sue
I did have my fsh tested and it's good. They say everything is good and within normal ranges and everything.
I'm in the car heading to DC and I'm getting dizzy typing so I have to to for now.
Hugs,
Sue
Sue - Honey, I am so sorry. I feel like this whole year has just S U C K E D - you know with the whole brain surgery, m/c, switching jobs. I was just telling DH that Jan. 1st can't come fast enough for me. I am so sorry you are going through all of this - especially all at once. I know that our words can only elevate your spirit and not fix your life, but know we all love you very much and will keep you in our prayers. And don't forget - I LOVE MY SUE-SUE!! :) Hugs girly girl!! (And a bit of SSBD...Just in case your hormones calm down :)
PS: Did the doc check your FSH level? That tells you if your eggs are good. I thought you did that and all looked good...Can't remember...I am senile from the brain surgery :) hee hee
PS: Did the doc check your FSH level? That tells you if your eggs are good. I thought you did that and all looked good...Can't remember...I am senile from the brain surgery :) hee hee
I hope your trip with the in-laws is enough to get your mind clear Sue. You are in my thoughts and prayers, I'm just po'd 4 you! I don't know much about that scam thingy but good god you'd think somthing could be done! I'm so sorry dear ((HUGS))
Sue,
Wow. Bad news-I'm so sad for you...its hard to have bad news especially during the Christmas season. I'm sorry you and your parents are going through this. Have you considered state adoptions? We never considered it but God gave us our first foster child, a little seven year old girl and it turns out she is up for adoption after Jan. 29. We are very seriously considering it. We never knew that a seven year old girl would fit right in our little family. We also can't imagine our lives without her so its a good thing she'll be up for adoption and we are first on the list! It costs nothing, except for the normal costs of kids. Maybe you could consider checking in with the MA DHS. I hope for the best for you during this season and again, I'm sorry you are going through so much. Hugs...
Wow. Bad news-I'm so sad for you...its hard to have bad news especially during the Christmas season. I'm sorry you and your parents are going through this. Have you considered state adoptions? We never considered it but God gave us our first foster child, a little seven year old girl and it turns out she is up for adoption after Jan. 29. We are very seriously considering it. We never knew that a seven year old girl would fit right in our little family. We also can't imagine our lives without her so its a good thing she'll be up for adoption and we are first on the list! It costs nothing, except for the normal costs of kids. Maybe you could consider checking in with the MA DHS. I hope for the best for you during this season and again, I'm sorry you are going through so much. Hugs...
Sue...
I don't post that much any longer but I've been following your posts...I understand the worry that you have with your parents as I'm in the same boat as my father passed away and my mom was left with no life insurance, nothing...It's a horrible worry and it is unfair...
Let me ask...did your RE ever test your FSH with a clomid challenge test? It sounds like by your post that they won't test it until your ready to do IVF? If so that doesn't make sense. That will help tell you a little more of your ovarian reserve. I really hope that whatever you decide to do works out as I really hope you get your dream :-) Keep positive...I know it's hard but we had 3 miscarriages and just when I was about to give up, I got pregnant and now have my little girl... Take care and Merry Xmas! Also, If your FSH is on the higher side, truly believe in accupuncture and how it works to lower FSH...Read the book called The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis... I think it helped us!
I don't post that much any longer but I've been following your posts...I understand the worry that you have with your parents as I'm in the same boat as my father passed away and my mom was left with no life insurance, nothing...It's a horrible worry and it is unfair...
Let me ask...did your RE ever test your FSH with a clomid challenge test? It sounds like by your post that they won't test it until your ready to do IVF? If so that doesn't make sense. That will help tell you a little more of your ovarian reserve. I really hope that whatever you decide to do works out as I really hope you get your dream :-) Keep positive...I know it's hard but we had 3 miscarriages and just when I was about to give up, I got pregnant and now have my little girl... Take care and Merry Xmas! Also, If your FSH is on the higher side, truly believe in accupuncture and how it works to lower FSH...Read the book called The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis... I think it helped us!
I am so sorry that your going through all of this right now. I know it can be hard to stay positive during these times. I hope that things get better soon for you. I know you will have the child you desire. :)
I am so sorry about your parents, and you and your husband. I was watching the Madoff thing on the news.
I believe that stress, (and yours seems so intense right now), can cause major biological changes to our systems.
I am 45 and my AF started changing slightly with perimenopause at 44, but not very much - it was off by 4-5 days once or twice. The only time it was really off was when we tried IVF and converted to IUI. My body hated all the drugs and treatments not to mention financial stress. I got AF at 8 dpo!!! ( even with a short LP I get AF usually is 11 dpo). .
My hormone levels are in the ttc range so I am sure once you can aleve some of your stress, your body will get back to normal.
Good luck and RELAX if possible on your holiday.
P.S. -I concieved naturally and I gave birth to my healthy dd when I was 41. Its possible.
Lisa
I believe that stress, (and yours seems so intense right now), can cause major biological changes to our systems.
I am 45 and my AF started changing slightly with perimenopause at 44, but not very much - it was off by 4-5 days once or twice. The only time it was really off was when we tried IVF and converted to IUI. My body hated all the drugs and treatments not to mention financial stress. I got AF at 8 dpo!!! ( even with a short LP I get AF usually is 11 dpo). .
My hormone levels are in the ttc range so I am sure once you can aleve some of your stress, your body will get back to normal.
Good luck and RELAX if possible on your holiday.
P.S. -I concieved naturally and I gave birth to my healthy dd when I was 41. Its possible.
Lisa
OMG, everything just seems to go the wrong way. It seems so unfair that all this bs is hitting you at once and you have so little control over any of this! I am so sorry about your parents. My parents had to start from zero once and I know how much stress it puts on everyone.
I hope that the New Year will bring you hope and a surprise BFP!!
HUGS!!!
I hope that the New Year will bring you hope and a surprise BFP!!
HUGS!!!
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