I got this off of the site of the fertility center I go to. Hope this will be helpful to you ladies...
Surviving Your Infertility
Communicating With Your Spouse
The experience of infertility can be a very difficult time for a couple. Even a very good marriage will be stressed, and loving partners will find they are facing unexpected challenges. It can be very helpful to know a few things about the way couples experience and cope with infertility.
It has often been observed that men and women do not go through infertility and treatment in the same way. Women usually experience more distress than men, and they also experience it much sooner. As one female patient said, "I think my husband is about a year behind me in emotional reactions!" While all couples are different, this emotional time difference is not uncommon, and it can lead to conflicts between a husband and wife who are surprised and upset to find out they are not in the same place about the infertility.
Another gender difference is that women, on whom the major burden for treatment falls, cannot easily escape from the pressure of the situation, even at work. Women are very aware of drug effects, appointments they have to keep, and where they are in their cycles. Husbands, on the other hand, can escape more easily from the pressure, by going to work and focusing on other things. Another difference is that women usually need to talk about the infertility a lot more than their husbands do. Women are much more likely than their husbands to talk about negative outcomes ("it won't work") and alternate plans ("we should think about adoption"). Husbands tend to hold on to positive thinking for longer, and worry that their wives are overly pessimistic and jumping ahead too quickly. Neither approach is better; they are just different and reflect two emotional timetables. The big challenge for the couple is to respect and accept their differences and to keep talking to each other about what they are thinking or feeling.
Don't allow the experience of infertility to turn into a wedge between you. Keep the communication line open. If you are very upset, wait before you launch into a discussion. Set a time to talk and decide on a length of time. Women need to know their husbands will be available to listen, and men need to know the discussion will have a beginning and an end. Men, who are more oriented to problem solving, find it hard to believe that just listening to their wives is helpful, but it is. Try to be as clear as you can about what you think, feel, and need from your partner. Your spouse cannot read your mind.
It is not a disaster if you disagree at times. It is actually quite normal. You are facing some important decisions about how to build a family. These decisions touch on many aspects of your lives, including your finances, your relationships with others, perhaps your jobs, and certainly your relationship with each other. It may take a while to resolve, but remember that no one goes through the experience of infertility forever. Keep your sense of humor in working order. (Even infertility has its weirdly funny moments.) Treat each other well. You both need additional TLC. Call on your reserves of patience and tact. Go out on a date. Decide that you will do at least one thing together each week that is fun. Finally, if you think you need some additional help, don't hesitate to ask your physician for a referral to a counselor who has expertise with couples going through infertility.