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recovery from miscarriage
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recovery from miscarriage

I'm feeling down today and wanted to know how everyone else got through their miscarriages. I just had a D&C on 2/20 and also miscarried in Oct of last year. I'm 31 years old with no children and all of my really close friends are pregnant. It's really hard to go through this again. Now that the drama and waiting is over everyone expects me to be back to normal. I just don't feel like I'm back to normal yet. I'm hoping I can get back into my normal routine soon.
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178698_tn?1228777938
I'm sorry for your loss.  I had m/c on Dec 18.  It was very painful and scary.   I felt horrible for a while.  I cried all the time for the first couple of  weeks.   I wAs so miserable at Christmas.  I just wanted to be alone.  Anyways...good news is u survive this and in time you do feel better.  

It upsets me to think about it nowadays. I still figure out how far I would be at this point.  Next week I would have been 1/2 way through. Now I can function and enjoy life.  

I read a lot of miscarriage books that I bought on Amazon, scoured the internet for answers, got on this forum as a result.  I still have the baby's tissue/baby in a baggie in a cute box in my freezer.  I was 8 weeks when I lost it.  I still can't let it go.  I'm Catholic and had a Mass said for Baby.  It's on March 18.  (It took a while to get the mass)  I felt good to know that the baby was baptized by intention".  I said some prayers, got angry with God, etc.  I still feel like going to confession and trying to get some answers out of the priest.  But I know he'll probably saw that this baby had a life, a short one, but none the less a life.  Everything has beginning and an end, so you have to enjoy it while you've got it!  Or something corny like that.

As soon as I can let go of the baby, I will bury it and plant a pretty plant or tree with baby.  I felt better about a month later.  My DH was so supportive, that he surprised me and made me laugh at the worst time in my life.

Last month I got another BFP, but the next week it was gone!  Chemical pregnancy.   The emotions weren't nearly the same.. wit that I was more angry and shocked.  I just cried once.  I recovered quicker from that.  It was so surreal.

So that's why I did to get through mine.  I hope that helps.  You will feel better.  I just can't tell you when.  Are you going to try right away?   That's what I did.

Again I'm sorry!

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Avatar_n_tn
Hi, Im so sorry you are feeling this way.  You arent alone and this is a good place to get support and vent. I lost twin girls around 30 weeks into my pregnanacy...It blew me away.  I had a textbook perfect pregnancy up until the day I noticed some spotting and the next thing I knew I was in the hospital having my labor induced.  I also had a miscarriage the next year at 5 weeks and would be due this coming week.  Its been rough...usually when I was going through it I was really strong watching those around me fall apart and then it would catch up and hit me really hard later when it seemed everyone else had moved on.  Im hear to tell you that after a loss things never go back to normal...life changes and in a way you move on or at least try but the pain is always there...at least for me.  Its more about learning to live with what has happened to you becuase its an experience in you life that is now part of your history and part of who you are.  Everyone around me got pregnant and is pregnant too and sometimes Im ashamed to admit it makes me really angry and I get bitter becasue they have all been fine and had uneventful pregnancies.  But, I know that being able to ttc again has made me feel better and Ive also tried to do everything possible to have a healthy pregnancy.  Beyond that there isnt a whole lot you can do.  It might be good to take some time off and take a trip or something if possible....even if its for the weekend.  Also, dont hesitate to let yourself grieve.  Who cares if the world is going on...your world just fell apart and I think if anyone realized that they would give you the space you need.  I really hope you the best in all this...you arent alone even though it feels like it.  Good luck
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Avatar_n_tn
I am very sorry about your loss. The process is extremely difficult. And, what you will learn from this as I did, no one knows what it is like until they go through it.

Like Yvette, I m/c Dec. 18. I was 6 weeks along but less than a week prior I had an vaginal u/s that showed a fetus w/ a normal heartbeat. I have been ttc for 9 months at that point and really became determined (obsessed was more like it), which is why I could hardly cope. I think I lost a part of myself in it all. Through it all I learned a great deal about myself and the people with whom I am close. Some people were inconsiderate others were supportive. I feel like going through a m/c made me stronger but it has taken me two months to realize that. I tried to submerge myself in other interests to keep from becoming obsessed w/ the whole thing. But... You must let yourself go through the stages of grief. It's okay to be angy, sad, jealous, feel guilty, and blame others (in my case, I felt I wanted to blame my OB's staff). Eventually, you will accept it for what it was and get to a better place. Just don't put an enormous amount of pressure on yourself.

One of the hardest things in my healing was going to a friend's shower. I didn't want to go but I went and met three other expecting women. I cried all the way home. But, the girl whose shower I attended was so appreciative of me being there. She's had her share of hardships and this is her special time.

Being around supportive people helped. My sister is a counselor and just listening to me rant helped me.

Good luck and remember: time is the best healer.
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Avatar_n_tn
Im sorry for your loss, Im in the same boat, not sure how to handle this but we gotta be strong.  Its funny how the joy of knowing can easily be erased.  TODAY I woke up in tears, I woke up in the worse pain ever.  Im trying to get through it and the best thing that I know how is to pray.  So my advice to you is to pray and pray and pray.  We will be pregnant and be able to speak about delivery, trimesters, doctors appts, everything. Good Luck to you and it will happen.  
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Avatar_n_tn
sorry for your loss. i had a mc three and a half weeks ago, the first 3 weeks was the worst, and i still get sad now and again especially seeing someone i know very well that fell pregnant and isnt married and she is 8 weeks already. i am 35, have a son of 7, diagnosed with PCOS, had many cysts and multiple polyps so i fear taht it might be difficult to fall pg again....but i guess my faith in GOD helps me get thru this.  I never experienced anger towards GOD though, cause i realised there is a reason why it happens, and it will be a good reason. i was a single mom for 6 years, newly wed and it was extremely difficult for me, as i desired to be pregnant again be4 i get too old, and then i lost the baby.... but by faith i will try again.  Talking to ppl helped me a lot to ease the pain.  dont give up!!!
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Avatar_n_tn
Kelly, I had a D &C that same day.  It was the worst day of my whole life.  I am also 31 and I am waiting for my first child.   We've been battling infertility for 3 years and I don't know what else to do!

I also had a lap done that day and they found more endometriosis.  So I was happy about that at least.

I've been looking at that m/c and procedure as a test.  This was my first pregnancy, so I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to feel pregnant and have the chance to dream about it for awhile.  It was only for a few weeks, but I am blessed to have it.

This was a trial run.   My body will be ready better next time.   So will yours.   You are gearing up for the marathon!

It's gonna be a long road, but you don't need me to tell you it is so worth it... you'll look back on this and see how much you grew and became stronger from the whole journey!

When you are holding that little baby in the middle night... this battle will have been won!

Good luck.  Just know you are not alone... away from the ladies on this forum, it looks like you and I are in very similar boats.  Let's think positive!

I am looking forward to starting again.  I want to remember this time trying to conceive my children as a happy, loving time... not stressful or trying.  

After 3 years, it's getting harder and harder.   But hang in there, the end is in sight.

Good luck-- this will be our year!
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks ladies! Your comments really helped. I don't know what I would do without this site. I think this miscarriage is actually harder than my first because now there may be something wrong. I have an appointment to see my doctor next Friday to start some tests. I'll keep you posted. I guess my problem is that I know what lies ahead of me for the next few weeks and I don't want to feel this way. I guess I will have to be strong and deal with it like everyone else.  
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