Could my eggs be better than 25 year old donor?

[Lifeillusions]

How is it that I produced more embryos that made it to blastocyst stage than my 25 year old egg donor? When I was 40 I produced 6, all 6 fertilized and we did PGD and 3 made it to blastocyst.  When I was 42 again I produced 6, all 6 fertilized and 4 became blastocysts and we transferred 2 fresh, then a year later 2 frozen.  We were going to adopt and then we decided to try an egg donor.  We thought it would be worth the expense because we would end up with at least 10 good embryos to freeze (I produced 4 excellent blastocysts at 42 and most everything I read suggested a 25 year old would produce 20 eggs, so I figured 10 great embryos!).  Anyway of the only 8 eggs she produced, only 2 made it (I don't even know the quality)...they didn't want to wait for blastocyst stage since they said the embryos would do better inside me and since there were only 2 they put them in me...I don't know if it was a Day 2 or Day 3 transfer...if they did the Retrieval on Feb. 26 and put them in me on Feb. 28 is that a day 2 or day 3 transfer?  I am just so confused as to how this is possible? The Dr. Said I still had a better chance of getting pregnant with the younger eggs, but I have no symptoms at all.  Is this true that I will still have a better chance?  When I was 43 after all the failed IVF attempts I got pregnant naturally while on vacation, but it was a blighted ovum. I had LOTS of symptoms then...implantation spotting, very sore breasts, very frequent urination...and these all happened very early.  

[Elaine Brown, MD]

Hi!
You must feel quite disappointed by the outcome of the recent cycle.  Never give up hope however.  IF you are going to use a donor, you might want to change, and definitely, I recommend using a proven donor.  It's hard to know why she didn't have better success.
The embryos ARE more likely to be genetically normal (higher percentage chance).  Genetically normal embryos are more likely to result in a live birth (thank goodness!)
I admire your open-mindedness about the alternatives, and I feel absolutely certain that you will be blessed by a child someday somehow!
Good luck!
Dr B

[Lifeillusions]

Thank you so much for your support! My husband and I decided to try to adopt.  After 6 years I can't keep putting my body through the drugs...I don't think it is healthy physically and certainly not emotionally either! The hormones are havoc on my body physically and they also mess with our emotions! Plus the IVF cycle in and of itself even without the drugs would be an emotional roller coaster!  I have already done 2 fresh IVF's, 1 FET, and now 1 donor IVF...4 IVF's not to mention lots of IUIs and SuperOvulations with IUI.  I think that this final attempt with a donor really was saying this is not for you...a 25 year old egg donor was supposed to produce better than me, when she did not, it says to me that I am not meant to have all kinds of embryos left over so I can try IVF 5 or 6 more times!  I feel more happy than I have felt in a while. Since IVF is such an out of control thing, I look forward to having more control with creating an adoption profile!  

Congratulations on all your adopted embryos and good luck to you!! I will be signing off this forum but I send you lots of baby dust that your embryos are sticky and you become pregnant!!!  

[mhv]

Your welcome... you know, funny story, my husband and I used a known donor too.  retrevied 19 eggs... but the stupid RE froze them all on day 2, so we didn't know what quality they were.  we did end up getting pregnant on 1st transfer, but unfort. m/c'd. Did a couple more transfers no BFP,  Moved the embryos to another RE to have him thaw the remaining 7 out, only to find out they wouldn't survive.  
I will be 44 in April, and I haven't given up!  I just don't think you can think that God didn't want you to have a child just because your donor didn't work out. Just my thinking....
I just wanted to throw out this idea to you.  My dh and I researched adoption, only to find out it cost as much as or more than the refund programs.  And we were told that at "our age" it would be a long wait because birth mom's usually go for "younger" parents.  Anyway, I thought I would give you something to think about : )  Think about it... 6 fresh tries, and at least 6 frozen tries, with donor eggs, and if you don't take a baby home... you get 100% of your money back.  I just wish you and I had BOTH found this program the first time... instead of questioning weither we "deserve" to be parents or not.  
My husband and I have been fortunate that someone has offered us there frozen embryos (from this site actually, the fertility forum) to use.  But, if she hadn't, or if she decides to pull out for some reason, we 100% intend to use the refund program.
I wish you peace on your journey, and I hope you at least entertain the thought of researching a refund program.  I had to see anyone walk away from their dream of becoming a mother...

Hugs!  
M

[Lifeillusions]

Thanks for your support.  We have been on this path for over 6 years...I am 45 and my husband is turning 50.  This was a known donor and so no refund program...and financially and emotionally we are at the end of our journey for a child.  It's like it just isn't meant to be otherwise why would we end up with a 25 year old donor whose eggs were not as good as my eggs when I was 42.  I just don't know what we are going to do at this point.  Good luck to you!!! I hope you have wonderful success!!! Lots of baby dust to you!

[mhv]

I ran across your post and just wanted to throw out a suggestion.  There are alot of donor egg refund programs.  It sounds like you got a dud on your first one (as did I), but there are alot of programs that give you 6 tries for x amount of dollars and with donor eggs, they are usually 100% refundable.  Just a thought..

[Lifeillusions]

P.S...a Mini-IVF cycle using my own eggs since I can't afford another egg donor cycle

[Lifeillusions]

I am in an egg donor cycle...if I am not pregnant today (which I am pretty sure I am not), can I go in when I start my period on Day 3 and do an FSH & LH test and start a Mini-IVF cycle right away (since I didn't do the Egg Retrieval and I am only taking Estradiol and Progesterone)...or if I need to wait, how many cycles do I need to wait?

[Lifeillusions]

Thank you for getting back to me I really appreciate it.  We have exhausted our financial and emotional resources...I don't think we are going to do anymore IVF.  We were going to adopt when this known donor fell in our lap.  It cost a lot of money and we just can't keep going...it has been 6 years!  Thanks again...hopefully I am pregnant even though I don't feel even a little bit pregnant!