D&C or miscarrage and trying again

[Anya1984]

Hello ladies.....for those who know me, I was 6 weeks pregnant..went to u/c today and doc didn't see embryo in gestational sac which means that it stopped developing....on Tuesday Im going for another u/c to confirm...after that I either going to have a natural m/c (btw, does anyone know how to make it happen?) or going under D&C (how is the procedure done)?

My question is, how soon can we start trying for a new cycle after miscarrage?????

Im soooo depressed right now and would like some input.......

[ashort]

Anya- I'm so sorry to hear your news.  I have had 2 m/cs one at 7 weeks and another at 6 weeks.  I had a D and C with both.  So I really can only give you one point of view.  With my last m/c I was given a choice and I chose to have another D and C b/c from what I've read from other girls it can take a while for it to happen naturally.  I'm a teacher so I can't really miss work to wait so I chose the D and C.  Also with the D and C they can test the chromosomes of the baby to determine if it was a chromosomal abnormality.  Sometimes they kind find out info from that and sometimes not.  I'm an unusual case, but I had a molar pregnancy which they wouldn't have discovered had I not had the D and C.  You can start trying after you have had one period some doctors say 2.  I have to wait 6 months b/c of the molar pregnancy....5 months left and counting.  Good luck to you and I'm sorry for your loss.

[Anya1984]

Hi there,
I am sorry for your loss too...
I just want to hope that second time will be a normal full pregnancy and I won't get another m/c!!!
How painful is D&C?
If they give you choice and let's say, I want to have a natural one, why do you say that you need to take off from work? I thought it just going to come out? Are there any stimulats they give you to have a natural m/c???

Im just scared for D&C....is it painful afterwards?
See, because I have pcos syndrom, I might not have period after D&C...then what? I would like to start very soon because I can't wait....I have been waiting for such a long time, for 3.5 years!!!!!!!!
Gosh, it is soo depressing!

[tamjun03]

Anya
This is so strange.  I am literally in the same boat that you are.  This is our first try with invitro.  My husband and I went on Thursday for what we hoped was to see an ultrasound of the babies heartbeat.  We implanted two and the first one the Dr. saw blood around and the sac was going down....the second one was not developing and would not be viable.  I think our Dr. was just as shocked as we were all of my numbers were really high and I had all the symptoms nausea, br tenderness etc.  but I am 39 so the Dr. believes the age of the eggs is the reason for the miscarriage.  I am going to have a D & C on Wednesday morning.  I too was very nervous about the decision but felt that this is the best option for us.  They really want you to wait at least one full cycle before trying and as ashort said 2 is the ideal.  We want to try again asap because of my age but I don't want to jump the gun and do anything rash. I read that with the D&C that the lining to your uterus needs time to build back up suffieciently.  It becomes pretty thin due to making sure everything is removed as to prevent infection.  Letting nature take its course and waiting for a miscarriage can be quite painful both physically and emotionally.  It can take awhile. Ulitmately the best you can do is educate yourself on both and make the decision that is right for you!!!  I'm really glad I have found your post it was such a fluke!!!  Hope some of this helps, and if you have any other questions I will check back!!!  Tami

[Anya1984]

Thank you Tami...
Wow, I am sorry for your loss too...I know it was such an ordeal for me to hear the Doc say that she can't see the embryo......I was so depressed, I cried all morning....Im going in on Tuesday just to make sure its not there and I guess they will let me know if I should wait for a natural m/c (which like you said may take a while, but I heard that D&C is not pleasant either), and if they do tell me that natural mc may take a while, then I will have D&C done too....im just very scared, you know!!
Im only 24 but I really need this baby!!!! Gosh!!!!!
I already have problems with absense of Ovulation due to PCOS...so it was hard to get O this time, you know? I can't believe I will have to start over in few months?!!!! that's crazy!! That's soooo long!
2 cycles  you said after D&C?
:(((
that is soooo upseting.................
Im still griefing...i was so hoping to have this baby!!!

[tamjun03]

I know it all just pretty much sucks and throughout this process you are not supposed to stress!!!  I think I need to get a t shirt that reads "Cautiously Optimistic".  It's such a roller coaster and nobody can truly understand what you are going through.... I will give you an update on the D & C and can hopefully let you know what to expect.  

[Anya1984]

So what did your doc say about natural miscarrage? it might take more then 2-3 weeks to miscarry? Than it is better to do D&C....If on Tuesday I will sstill have no embryo (and Im pretty sure I wont....) then I will probly do D&C too....I wonder if Insurance pay for that? And I guess I can start as soon as I will be allowed to...its just that I will have to go through THE SAME LONG A** process again!!!! grr....and I was so hoping...I don't know, its so oooo hard...

[scienceteacher79]

Oh sweetie - I am sooooooo sorry!!! As for the natural M/C vs D and C - I can say I had both WITH ONE PREGNANCY! Ok, heres my tale: I started bleeding March 4th, went to RE on March 5th and they confirmed M/C and said I ddin't need a D and C because most of it had gotten out of my uterus by then and was basically sitting on my cevix waiting to leave. Yeah right! After bleeding for about 5 days, I stopped bleeding. All the tissue had come out, I thought. It was tiny bits here and there and then a big one I pased in the middle of the night. I think I was so numb I just kinda said "ok, that has to be all of it". On the 21st of March I started to bleed bright bright red blood and my Sis in law, who had lost the 2 she concieved this year, knew this wasn't good and sent me to the ER and I ended up having a D and C. Here I was over two weeks past my miscarriage thinking I was 2 weeks closer to trying again and this happened. Apparently there was still a lot of tissue in there. So, if I had to do it again, I would have had the D and C to make SURE all of it was out so I could heal quicker and get back to TTC as soon as possible.  Now, my RE said that as soon as I get my 1st AF I can get back to TTC and she even wanted to put me back on the meds right away. I don't know if this is what all RE's do, but mine was raring to go again  :) Hubby and I think we will wait and try naturally this month (whenever AF shows - should be in a few days based on my tempertures) and go back to meds if w don't succeed this time. It is basically our feeling that we do not want to waste money if my lining is not back to where it needs to be from the D and C. The docs scrape it pretty thin to get all of the tissue out so you don't get an infection or need another D and C. I hope this helps you. If it were me, I would have the D and C to make sure all of it gets out and you can get back to TTC quicker. With a natural M/C, you will have to wait for it to happen. I think there are some meds the docs can give you to get it started faster, but I am not sure.

Still hold on to a little hope, 6 weeks is still early. You never know what might happen. DId he do bloodwork to see if your HCG is rising. You need to do that before you make ANY decision. Tell him you want to see the numbers. Have B/W done one day and go back 2 days later and see what the results are before you make ANY decisions. Good luck, you will deal with this. I promise and it will be that much btter when you get pregnant again. Big hugs.

PS: If you have a D and C, it doesn't hurt, I barely bled after mine. And I popped an egg out about 12 days later :) HUGS!

[Anya1984]

Thank you for your tale...you reassured me that I should do D&C as oppose to wait till it comes out naturally which might take forever.....
My HCG numbers were VERY high and everything was good but then Doc said today that at this point, there should be something visable in gestational sac and it wasnt...I don't think anything appears by Tuesday, the embryo just stopped growing, you know...how far along were you when you had your m/c??

[scienceteacher79]

6 and a half weeks. just make sure they do another bloodtest to see what the hcg is doing...if you do have a m/c, we are here for you as you go through it. Been there, done that and I survived, you will too. HUGS!!

[Anya1984]

so your baby died at that age, same as mine...I am 6 and a half weeks today...so how soon after that did you have a natural? Cuz my baby didn't grow from week 5 so it has been a week already and I have no symptoms of m/c.....how b/w is going to help though? If they can't see embryo in gest sac then I need to have d&c done...If I had it natural soon, I would be ok, and if not (im giving it a week) then I would prefer d&C...although I heard crazy stories about it, lots of pain and other stuff....cuz they ipen your cervix and so on....:( I just want to start again...
how soon after d&C were u allowed to start trying?
Cuz with my syndrom, I can't have period and O, so they will have to put me on provera to get my period....I don't know...

[tamjun03]

Hi Anya

My doc basically said that both a D & C and natural have + and -.  The thing is that even if you let the m/c occur naturally you may still have to have a D & C.  Tissue can be left up there and also they don't want to increase your chance for infection.  That is why I chose to go with the D & C.  I did not want to wait for it to happen and then still have to have the D & C anyways.  Now I am not a Dr. and I am only repeated what mine told me but he explained the procedure as this.........I have to ****** the night before. I will have anesthisia and antibiotics given to me that morning ( similiar to the transfer but instead of putting in they will be taking out ). My cervix will be dialated.The procedure itself will be a small straw - like tube inserted they will be able to follow exactly where it is placed and clean out any fetal or placental tissue. The process itself should be about 10-15 mins.  My post op instructions tell me to"  Spend the remainder of the day resting and taking it easy.  ** Advises that I may experience:  Fatigue, Vaginal Bleeding, Abdominal discomfort, often a burised or cramping sensation.  These discomforts should improve rapidly.  Symptoms usually  resolve in the day following surgery.....but may persist for 2-3 days.  They tell me not to have sex for one week. No baths, swimming, hot tubs  at least 5 days.  No douching or tampons.  They advise me to use tylenol as needed - so I don't think that it's going to be any worse than a natural m/c.  Last night my husband and I went to the movies just to get out of the house.  I am wearing a pad everywhere I go and paranoid that the m/c could happen at any moment.  I just feel that for me having that clean slate and not having to keep agonizing over what my body is going to do is better for me.  Hope this helps!!!!

[ashort]

Anya-  A natural m/c can take a while.  The D and C's don't hurt mine were about 20 mins.  You are in and out.  It isn't painful.  Physically you will feel better in no time.  My baby didn't grow from 5 weeks to 6 either.  I was on progesterone so my RE said that's why I didn't have any symptoms.  I really only bled for about 1 or 2 days after my D and C.  I hope you make a decision that is good for you.  We are here if you want to talk.  I wish you the best!

tamjun-  I'm so sorry for your loss too!  Good luck with your D and C.  I hope you have a fast recovery and will be ttc again soon!

[Anya1984]

Thank you very much for your story....I m not sure what you mean about what you have to do the night before the procedure....It will be good if your cervix will dialte so it will be open for the procedure.....So you are going in this Wednesday, GOOD LUCK! Tell me how you are going to feel later...Im going for u/c on Tuesday and will ask my doc to do D&C as soon as possible, I want it out of me so we can start trying soon again..I heard that docs usually tell you to wait 3 months before start trying......WOW, that seems forever! I hope it will take much less with me....I hope!!! And I hope that next pregnancy really works out for both of us!!! Im so tired of this....
We walked the whole day today just to clear my head...it helped but stilll....every time I see a baby, I want to cry....what a life!

[Anya1984]

Ohhhhh, I see....I had no symptoms cuz I m on progesterone as well, that must be it!!!!! wow...that makes sense!! I hope that my D&C will be also in and out... did they put you to sleep though? Did you rest for the rest of the day? Were you ok the next day? How fast did they schedule the D&C ?? I want mine done this week cuz I don't want to wait...
How long did they say you need to wait before start trying again?

THANKS!

[ashort]

Yes, I think you have to be put out for a D and C.  The thing is...until my first D and C I had NEVER been put out for anything.  It is a very light anesthesia.  They put it in your IV.  I just remember my RE saying we are going to do another u/s just to make sure.  I looked at him and said sure.  I told him I was feeling a little dizzy then I was out.  I talked a lot of nonsense to the nurse when i first came out but you wake up quickly.  You feel a little buzzed...LOL.  They send you home about 45 mins later.  Dh and I went to the grocery store.  I was a little off but I was okay.  Actually later on that day, I went out to sign up for yoga.  So I felt fine.  After my first, I went to work the next day.  This time my D and C was done on a Friday so I went back that Monday.  I would say you could go back the next day.  Emotionally you are drained though.  I went in on a Wednesday and had a D and C that Friday.  It all depends on scheduling.  Is your RE going to do it.  Becasue I had a molar pregnancy I have to wait 6 months...5 left...it stinks...I think we are going to start trying a little early like in July.  He told me 6 months was being conservative.  Let me know how things go!

[skipili]

Anya....I'm really sorry.  I've been following your posts and my heart really goes out to you. I had a m/c last summer. I thought I was starting my AF but that wasn't the case.  It was a chemical pregnancy the dr said. It was early on so my body just m/c naturaly. I bled for about 2 1/2 weeks but only heavy for 3 days or so. I started trying again in 2 months. I know how you feel. I was sad when it happened. Still am. I would be having a baby this month. You hang in there ok!!!  

[mommyluv02]

I am so terribly sorry that you are having to go through this and i hope you have support at home as you already know we are here for you but its nice to have a "real" shoulder to cry on:) Now as for the natural or the D&C i have had both with two different m/c i would deffinatly go for the D&C with the natural you actually see all the tissue and stuff passing, and for me that was the hard part and with the D&C you see nothing unless you ask to see it. But for me it was alot easier emotionally and the pain isnt really that bad just a bit of cramping and they will give you pain pills and if that is what you decide to do then your HCG should drop pretty fast *** all the tissue will all come out. I want to wish you the best of luck and i hope there is still room for a miracle:)
Hugs and Prayers!!
Amanda

[scienceteacher79]

Like I said before, I would go with the D and C, just because you can get back to TTC faster and everyone is right about feeling much much better physically afterward. I am a little woozy after because of the anesthia (spelling?) but the next day we had a BBQ and i played volleyball for a few mintes and felt fine. I barely bled afterwards too - compared to how bad i bled with the natural m/c. The natural m/c was hard on me becaue I had to see everything come out. So I do think the D and C will help emotionally. We are here for you. Hang in there. It will be ok - I have found it almost relaxing to not have to worry about whether I am pregnant or not since I am still waiting for my period to show up. I am much calmer and less stressed this time around. Just waiting for AF and then we will try right away again. HUGS!

[Anya1984]

Thank you girls for supporting me...I woke up today and had another hysteria, Gosh!! I cried and cried, and I am so empty right now....Im really scared of doctors period and the fact that I will be put in sleep and people will be inside of me opening my cervix is totally KILLING me......I was put out once when I had a stomach procedure done and damn I felt SOOOO bad afterwords....not a little buzzed but vomiting and dizziness for the whole 2 days..coundn't even eat!! Oh well, that  is something that I have to go through.....
My BIG concern is.......are there success stories to get pregnant afterwards and actually KEEP the baby????? What's my percentage of getting another m/c????
Im just very scared that I will have to go through with this again.....

[ashort]

I"m not sure of percentages....I have read about a lot of people that have gone on to have healthy pregnancies after having a m/c though.  I think the anestesia is different from anesthesia they give you for stomach surgery.  It's very light...and you aren't out for long.  I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time.  To be honest, I felt the same way with my first D and C...I was so scared about being put out but it really wasn't that bad...let us know how you are doing.

[scienceteacher79]

I have read that having a M/C does not up your chances at having another one. It is the same as if you had delivered or if you had never been preggo before. Every pregnancy is different. Worrying about healing first. All that other stuff can come later. HUGS!!

[andykk]

So, so, so sorry...I really hope that when you go in you have better news...
Reading the posts, I would agree w/ the D&C....I chose to wait for natural m/c...like said + and - mentioned from the docs, and I guess in my mind I wasn't ready to "give up" hope...although I knew that it was the inevitable (u/s at 6 wk and confirmed at 7 wk w/ only a sac, no fetal pole of h/b although my hcg levels kept increasing) so waited for the m/c and it didn't occur until I would have been 9 wks...and it hit me when I was out and about and was very painful. Plus, as also mentioned, I still had to go have a hysteroscopy, since I didn't lose all of the tissue and continued to bleed for about 3 more weeks (had attached and wasn't letting go) Going under for the procedure and everything afterwards went just fine. Hardly any pain, and I, too, was worried about going under, just because of when I had had two previous IVF's after retrieval I felt terrible from the anesthesia...but this went great. I even went to my 8 yr olds play that same afternoon of the procedure (he was Peter Pan...I HAD to go).
I sure hope everything goes well for you. And I have had many friends w/ successful pregnancies after m/c. Many women have m/c, not even knowing they were pg, just thinking they are having their periods. As my doc told me (trying to be reassuring, but at the time I wanted to smack the heck out of him) "natures way of fixing things that would have been terribly wrong w/ the pregnancy or baby". Now I feel a bit more understanding of that. Oh, and I was wanting to do another cycle ASAP after m/c, so our clinic had me wait only one natural cycle of AF before starting again. It took from Dec. m/c, waiting for that all to pass, surgery, and AF, and now we are on track for FET on the 24th. Having the d&c would have had me doing the cycle quicker...but I guess the timing is happening for a reason (whatever the heck that is!!!)
Again...thinking of you...:O)

[Anya1984]

Thank you sooo much for the comforting words.......you are great...
although I can't stop crying and my heart doesn't want to understand my mind that the baby isn't there, therefore d&C is inevitable....I have decided for myself after reading all the posts that d&c is the best option for me..

I wonder how long I will have to wait to start trying again if I don't get my periods??? I can't wait to speak with a doc, and I go to u/c tomorrow to make sure that the embryo isn't there.....on Sat we checked , and it wasn't there....I will be 7 weeks this Wednesday and I just want to have it all over with very soon!!!! I just can't not sleep anymore...how do I cope with stress? What did you do? how can I stop thinking about it? I just keep crying and can't stop...Im killing myself, and my hubby.....I don't sleep and I can't work....Im sooo misarable, its horrible......
I just really really hope that the next time it will happen and my pregnancy will go fine......right  now, I just want it out of me so I can start over....gosh, what a pain....!

[Anya1984]

thank you...I just read so many posts saying that they keep having m/c over and over again..so Im just being very scared......I just don't want to wait sooo long before I can start over.....and what are the odds that next IUI wil get me preggo???? probably very slim....