Aa
Losing another baby and the % rate. Interesting
As some of you already know I've lost 3 pregnancies this year, but 4 babies. March 22 (Twins)/ May 31/ and Oct 3 (2 weeks ago). I saw my Dr. yesterday and he said that when you've had previous miscarriages, and you try again, but try within a window of 1-3 months AFTER your last miscarriage your rate of having another miscarriage is 50%. It drops to 40% IF you wait at least 3 cycles. He said honestly with my Inverted Bicornuate Uterus that my rate is probably 55% if I try within 1-3 months. 45% after 3 months.
Here's my situation and Question:
We are military and my husband leaves (Deployment) in Feb/Mar. which is 4-5 months away. No long! He will be gone OVER a year. By the time he comes back I'll be 37, not over the hill but heading in that direction as far as eggs are concered. I told the Dr. that I couldn't afford to wait 3 cycles (which I think with my personaility would be VERY hard to do anyhow). The Dr. said that my body will not let me get pregnant anyhow unless it was ready (Capable). The biggest concern for me and the Dr. is the emotional toll.(If I can get pregnant and if I do lose the pregnancy) Losing 4 pregnancies (5 babies) in one single year, is ALOT. The Dr. thinks it's too much emotionally.
Here's how I'm looking at this, I'm all about numbers. If I try, and remember the time table thing, I will have to be at the percentage rate of 55%. That leaves a 45% chance of NOT having a miscarriage. Small: but still a chance. This is all assuming that I can even get pregnant again soon??? If I don't do anything my chance of having a baby anytime soon is 0%.
I will have to wait over a year for my husband to return home and then try again. Who's to say that I will even be able next year to get pregnant. Just because I got pregnant easily this year doesn't mean anything next year. Next year I'll be a year older, it might take months to get pregnant, or I may have egg problems. I have not got pregnant without fertility help.
What do you guys think about the % rate, my time situation, and the risk of losing yet another baby this year? I know how painful losing a baby can feel, but losing several in a short time frame is VERY painful. I'm just not sure what to do? Waiting is one thing, but waiting for over a year is something totally different. To all of you that have been SO supportive, to those that have endured lose, for those that try month after month with no result: My heart goes out to you. This website has been my life line. I hope God blesses us all with a baby. Thanks Girls!
Here's my situation and Question:
We are military and my husband leaves (Deployment) in Feb/Mar. which is 4-5 months away. No long! He will be gone OVER a year. By the time he comes back I'll be 37, not over the hill but heading in that direction as far as eggs are concered. I told the Dr. that I couldn't afford to wait 3 cycles (which I think with my personaility would be VERY hard to do anyhow). The Dr. said that my body will not let me get pregnant anyhow unless it was ready (Capable). The biggest concern for me and the Dr. is the emotional toll.(If I can get pregnant and if I do lose the pregnancy) Losing 4 pregnancies (5 babies) in one single year, is ALOT. The Dr. thinks it's too much emotionally.
Here's how I'm looking at this, I'm all about numbers. If I try, and remember the time table thing, I will have to be at the percentage rate of 55%. That leaves a 45% chance of NOT having a miscarriage. Small: but still a chance. This is all assuming that I can even get pregnant again soon??? If I don't do anything my chance of having a baby anytime soon is 0%.
I will have to wait over a year for my husband to return home and then try again. Who's to say that I will even be able next year to get pregnant. Just because I got pregnant easily this year doesn't mean anything next year. Next year I'll be a year older, it might take months to get pregnant, or I may have egg problems. I have not got pregnant without fertility help.
What do you guys think about the % rate, my time situation, and the risk of losing yet another baby this year? I know how painful losing a baby can feel, but losing several in a short time frame is VERY painful. I'm just not sure what to do? Waiting is one thing, but waiting for over a year is something totally different. To all of you that have been SO supportive, to those that have endured lose, for those that try month after month with no result: My heart goes out to you. This website has been my life line. I hope God blesses us all with a baby. Thanks Girls!
Cill...so sorry about calling you Cila :-) I just finished an article on a woman named Cila, and somehow, her name is still stuck on my brain.
I need some sleep!!!
;-)
I need some sleep!!!
;-)
Cila, I'm so sorry you've had to go through so many losses this year...and usuk, you too. It really isn't fair!
As for how long to wait, I've heard so many different theories. After my miscarriages, my doctor also suggested three months...to get the body back to normal again before another pregnancy. Interestingly, usuk, my doctor actually said the opposite of what you were told: that it's actually MORE important to wait after a D&C, since the lining is basically scraped off and it's important to let it rebuild properly before trying again. Not really sure which is more correct, but that is interesting that they had two totally different opinions on that.
Like Cila, though, I've also heard that you will only get pregnant again once your body is ready, so based on that, if it happens right away, you would think everything should be fine.
It's a tough choice to make, especially since your DH will be leaving for a year. I think airforcewife's idea of freezing some of his sperm is a good one...should you choose not to try before he leaves. But I also understand if you decide to try before then. What's your husband's opinion?
Personally, after my first miscarriage I did wait the full three months (after a D&C), but after my second (natural), I only waited one.
Good luck on your decision, and keep us posted!
As for how long to wait, I've heard so many different theories. After my miscarriages, my doctor also suggested three months...to get the body back to normal again before another pregnancy. Interestingly, usuk, my doctor actually said the opposite of what you were told: that it's actually MORE important to wait after a D&C, since the lining is basically scraped off and it's important to let it rebuild properly before trying again. Not really sure which is more correct, but that is interesting that they had two totally different opinions on that.
Like Cila, though, I've also heard that you will only get pregnant again once your body is ready, so based on that, if it happens right away, you would think everything should be fine.
It's a tough choice to make, especially since your DH will be leaving for a year. I think airforcewife's idea of freezing some of his sperm is a good one...should you choose not to try before he leaves. But I also understand if you decide to try before then. What's your husband's opinion?
Personally, after my first miscarriage I did wait the full three months (after a D&C), but after my second (natural), I only waited one.
Good luck on your decision, and keep us posted!
First: I lost 3 babies in 11 months too. Sorry that we have that in common.
Second: I never was told to wait. I was told that after a D&C that my uterus was "nice and clean." But after the first MC, I never got as far along in the PG as I did with the first one. Hmmm. There are two women on the Preg35+ forum who got PG right after a MC.
Third: I am 38 and I think that is why my doc said to get back on the horse - so to speak.
ADVICE: Can you handle not trying? It comes down to whether you can stand the impatience vs. the possible let down. I personally would not be able to wait a year.
Many ladies here say that "not knowing" is the hardest part. Even when it comes to MC, it is easier to process once it is known for sure. You are looking at a whole year of knowing that you have no chance vs. maybe getting hurt again. It stinks but why wait? Good luck.
Second: I never was told to wait. I was told that after a D&C that my uterus was "nice and clean." But after the first MC, I never got as far along in the PG as I did with the first one. Hmmm. There are two women on the Preg35+ forum who got PG right after a MC.
Third: I am 38 and I think that is why my doc said to get back on the horse - so to speak.
ADVICE: Can you handle not trying? It comes down to whether you can stand the impatience vs. the possible let down. I personally would not be able to wait a year.
Many ladies here say that "not knowing" is the hardest part. Even when it comes to MC, it is easier to process once it is known for sure. You are looking at a whole year of knowing that you have no chance vs. maybe getting hurt again. It stinks but why wait? Good luck.
Hi, I am also a military wife and totally understand the pressure to get pregnant between deployments. It took us 2 years and 4 IUI's to finally get pregnant with our precious son. The only advice or thoughts I can give you is...maybe freezing some of your DH's sperm before he leaves and then doing IUI's to try to get pregnant while he is gone. I would probably try before he leaves even if it isn't the best time frame, just because I know my personality and I didn't want to miss one single cycle. It was cheaper to do IUI's and freeze sperm because of our military insurance. You might want to look into that in case you aren't pregnant before he leaves. Good luck!! I wish you the best and God Bless your husband.
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