Not a question just need to vent

[Cheli06]

Last night I had a meltdown...it was all at once...having reminders from medhelp of my ovulation tracker and not being able to do any IVF all year unless I win the Lotto!  
Sorry if it is TMI...during ovulation my libido increases needless to say that this whole week I have been harrassing my DH for it but one thing or other comes up and we had to postpone BDing...last night finally he asked and I only said yes b/c I remember the ovulation tracker that i am ovulating...then I realized that it did not matter b/c I am not going to get pregnant like a normal woman does...and that is when the tears started flowing and i could not stop crying...i felt so broken so hopeless so not complete...i feel it is not fair i have to have periods and cramping and all and I cannot make a baby.  It is just not fair!
Sometimes I feel like I have not grown up b/c I do not have kids...it is just my DH, my dog and me...meanwhile my friends have 2 kids each...i do not know how to feel anymore but complete I do not.

I just needed to vent.

[babyhope40527]

Hey Azwoman - good luck to you :) wish you all luck and hope 2012 brings some sunshine into all our lives and brightnes our life.

love
babyhope

[Azwoman]

Both of you have company, except I am single and when I am in 'the mood' I have to settle for a booty call (with condoms of course).. lol. I am working my TAIL off paying for IUI's, meds, and now I am onto IVF. And I can relate to all of the ultrasounds, appts, using sick time from work, etc.  I am still short some $$ but will have enough to get it in March or April. I want to do the ATTAIN program but dont have enough money for it so I will be using my RE. I am 38, frustrated, childless, and I am hoping and praying this will all be worth it. It's ok to vent, trust me.

[babyhope40527]

I understand you are not looking for any anwers or suggestions and feeling just bad as childless. All I can say, you are not alone and you have lots of company here, I know how it feels attending parties where every other woman handling 2 kids each and we just stare them. In my case, am 34, childless, working hard on treatments and IVFs, accupunture, meds, vitamins and what not, too many appointments, blood tests, scans and what no.

Hoping one day everything works, though you dont see a decision, I would still suggest you to go see a right RE, just tracking ovulation may not help all the time.

Good luck.