IVF failed

[punkysmom]

I just found out our 1st cycle failed. I am so full of emotions about this. When I talked to the doctor he sounded like he wanted to cry.  Since our problem was MFI he never expected this to not work.  He couldn't even tell me why he thought he didn't work. He was perplexed.  I am young and healthy and our embryos looked good. I guess it wasn't meant to be. I never wanted children and my husband convinced me we should have them. Then after TTC for almost a year we found out about the MFI. Part of me is angry at myself for opening myself up to this possibility knowing the failure rate is so high. I am sure I feel this way because this is so fresh. It just hurts so much.

[kuki33]

Hi.I am new to this site. i just want somebody to talk and could relate on me on what im going through. my husband and i are doing our first ivf cycle. i had my 2 embryos transferred on 9/6/2010. my progesterone level was done on 9/10/2010 and it was 42. im going to have my pregnancy test on 9/17/2010. hopefully it would be positive:)

[punkysmom]

My doctor warned us of the high chance of the multiples as well.  He even reduced the number of embryos from 3 to 2 because he was so confident in the success of the procedure with me.  I guess they just don't know.  

[MAR13]

When my IVF failed my doctors where suprised too - she even told me that they thought they I will definately be pregnant and they even suspected multiplpe pregnancy - but it didn't happend. I am going to try again next month, so I heard that the 2nd time is sometims more successful - just don't give up and I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

[loggerhead]

I am so sorry.  I too have been through it..a lot of us have.  It hurts bad.  It is normal to grieve.  Prayers to you.

[kimsscott]

I am so sorry for your loss I will be praying for you. I wish you the best of luck for the future. KIm

[punkysmom]

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice.  DH and I just spent the afternoon crying together.  He really is wonderful about it and has left the decision to me at this point as to whether we try again.  We have frozen embryos so it is a possibility.  We are going to meet with our RE next week.  He told us he wanted the weekend to think about this, meet with the embryologist and review all the records.  It is just too early to decide if I want to do this again.  
I saw your other posts and I really hope your pregnancy sticks this time.  Thanks again for the support.  I really need it right now.

[baby1234]

I am so sorry. The disappointment from a failed ivf cycle is devastating. Talk to your dh about your feelings. Don't shut him out. Write in a journal. This forum is also great to help you work through this set back. Do whatever you need to do to get these feelings out so you can work through them. Don't keep them bottled up inside because they can be so hurtful to you and your relationship (I know from personal experience).

When my ivfs failed (I got the bfps but mc twice), I was angry at the world, but especially my dh. It was easy to be mad at him. It is a long story, but trust me when I say it was easy to be mad at him :-). Anyway, it put a major strain on us. I had trouble telling him my feelings, so I resorted to writing them down in letters and giving him those. I also let him read some of the posts I wrote on here and another board I am part of. It did help us get through.

I am sending you strength as you deal with the bfn and decide on your next steps in this journey. Take care.

Stacie

P.S. You should schedule a follow-up appointment with your RE to go over this cycle, even if you decide you don't want to cycle again. Discuss possible changes to protocol, further testing that might be needed, and your RE's thoughts on what caused the bfn. He may not have an idea now, but as he reflects, he may think of a new plan to help you achieve a bfp. Sadly, it is often thought that the first ivf is the "learning" cycle because the docs get so much information about you from it. Just because you weren't successful this cycle does not mean that you won't be successful on another cycle.