When do you start to think it's a sign?

[wanting4#1]

I am not sure how much more I can take.

Last Friday, AF showed, as you may already know...so I go to the RE for a baseline u/s to be able to start injectables for the second round.  Well, I apparently responded SOOO well to the first round (not pg, mind you!) that I developed six cysts on my right ovary and 2-3 large ones on my left.  So, that puts me out this cycle for any fertility treatment. (Get this, the RE said, "go for it on your own. Success rates double on off cycles. Enjoy the holidays!"  Yea, right..when all I wanted for Christmas was a baby?)

So, just about the time that I was coming around to being able to think positively about this cycle and that we WOULD relax, concentrate on us, and have some fun, I get another blow. This one worse than anyone around here seems to understand....

DH's insurance, which currently covers 100% of infertility treatments, is changing, effective Jan. 1 and NOTHING will be covered. Nada. Zero. Zip.

I am devastated. I feel like a part of me is dying. I don't know how to walk away from this dream of being a mom and I don't know how to live without it.  I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like this is bigger than I am and it's definitely stronger.

I am so sad. I am so angry. And I am so tired.  My respect and adoration goes out to all of you who have struggled with this for so many years. I truly don't know how you do it.

So, my question is 'When should I start to see all of this as a sign that it's not meant to be?"

[ashort]

ASL...Please don't give up.  Maybe you will be preg. by Jan.  You never know?  I know it's hard but you have to stay positive!  Hang in there!

[Baby Vol]

never....dont you dare give up. i'm not and i feel just like you. it WILL be honey. it WILL BE.

[lil_schelle]

NEVER Give up HOPE !!
GOD will see you through all things.
I have to tell myself that everday

[Wendy80]

I'm really sorry.  It's really not a sign though... I agree with the other ladies.  Don't give up.  I can't put myself in your shoes, but I can only imagine how tough it is to get a bfn, and then have that followed with the news that you have to wait until after the holidays b/c of cysts, and then have the insurance dropped out from under you... you really do have my sympathy.  It's a cheesy saying, but I'm going to say it anyway:  It can only get better.  Good luck!

[prayin4baby]

Please stay positive and continue to pray.  I just got my BFP with great levels.  I've been through a lot over the last 2 years and now I've received my blessing or blessings (maybe twins).  Please don't give up, it can happen.  I will say a prayer for you.  Sticky baby dust to you!!

[rdh1981]

I agree with cadrmr, DON'T GIVE UP!! I know exactly how you are feeling, it seems like this rollcoaster will never end.

I have been ttc for the last 2years and I am finally 7wks pregnant, so I can vouch that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It would just be nice to know when we will get to the light.

So, please, please don't give up and don't loose hope. I know it is a hard road to walk, but at the end you will be walking hand and hand with your child.  

We are all here for you, cheering you on!!! So take some comfort in that and know that you are never alone!!

Take Care!!

[Brown Eyed Gurl]

NEVER!!!! Quit thinking like that maybe that's just a sign you won't need the insurance for fertility by Jan 1......please stay positive and don't give up.....

[cadrmr]

Don't ever think it's not meant to be.  You are probably alot stronger than you feel right now.  I'm so sorry to hear what your going through.  I have seen your posts from time to time, and know you are a strong woman.  DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!  God will give us what we want in due time I believe. Perhaps you are just meant to do it on your own.  My prayers are with you, hang in there and dont' give up hope.  Tina