really frustrated and depressed - CD 50, no af and horrible cramps for 10+ days now

[ALT76]

I'm so depressed.  And I'll say right off the bat I am NOT pregnant!  Those of you who know me know that I have endometriosis as well as PCOS.  I've been on various forms of metformin for 2 years now, and my weight has been very stable during that time.  I had surgery in December for the endo, and that helped with the pain in the beginning, but it's quickly gotten worse again.  My periods had been relatively regular (except one cycle when I switched meds and they were going right through me so they didn't work) for over a year now.  I gave up trying to conceive for a while after my last failed IVF in June.  I decided to stop trying til I lost weight.  I've been using a treadmill, but I wouldn't say I've worked myself up to using it enough to see substantial results - just doing it 2 times a week now for 30-40 minutes each time, but I figure that's better than nothing and I'm trying to work myself up to more.  I also mow our large lawn with a pushmower on another day, which takes about 2 hours and is quite the workout emptying the bag every two minutes (grass has been growing like CRAZY this summer!).  Anyway, it seems my body is giving me the middle finger right back at me and my efforts to change and get better.  This is the first time I've been this serious about change and exercise, and nearly overnight my body went more out of whack than ever!  I feel like I've been double teamed by the PCOS and the endo!  For the first time in 2 years I gained 7 pounds in a month (on top of the 5 pound fluxuation I typically have) and I have not altered my eating habits.  Those I changed years ago and I eat quite  well.  And it's a traumatic weight gain also because now I'm nearing 200 pounds - I've never weighed this much and could never imagine being over 200 pounds.  It's kind of a milestone of weight gain!  On top of the weight gain, I'm on cycle day 50 and have had horrible cramps for the past 10 days or so.  Today they are so bad they are shooting out my lower back and down my legs.  Usually it just sticks to one leg or the other, but tonight the pain seems to be alternating between both legs.  Every night I go to bed with bad cramps and swear af is going to be there when I wake up, but inevitably there is nothing.  To make matters worse, I'm gushing discharge a lot of the time, which leads me to believe that my estrogen is too high, which is probably why I'm not getting af.  I just realized that last weekend I remember saying "if the pain is still here by Monday and I haven't gotten my period, I'll go to the doctor" - well Monday came and went and now it's been a week and it's getting worse, but we're down to one car and the doctor is an hour away.  It's the same city where my husband works, but I'd be left to kill the rest of his eight hour work day which I can't imagine would be fun in pain.  I don't know what to do.  I'm really angry and frustrated and depressed.  I just want it all to go away.

[ALT76]

I'm going tomorrow afternoon and I'm going to insist that they run tests to check my levels - not just throw me on provera to induce af as usual.  If I'm on a very high dose of metformin and have not changed my eating habits and have started exercising, why am I suddenly going downhill?  I hate that most docs just wanna solve the immediate problem without looking at the whole picture!  It's not just that I'm not getting my period....but WHY?  My levels are usually pretty controlled (at least I think cuz I'm usually relatively regular and at a stable weight) and they are clearly going crazy right now.  

[unlaced]

and it does sound like it COULD be infected...but, i don't know.  did you see the doc today?

[alikat1205]

have you ever had your thyroid checked?  it's just a blood test, and thyroid messes up so so much, your periods, make you gain weight etc.  mine was barely above normal, and i gained without stop until a dr. finally believed me and treated.  i got pg right away (had a m/c but still...) and my weight started dropping.  worth investigating.

[ALT76]

oh I've had my thyroid checked many times because my sister has thyroid issues, and I've also done the diabetes screening - but that was back when I was first dx'd so maybe it's time to do another one of those.  But I am on Metformin - which is what they give for diabetes.  I'm on what I think is the highest dose - 2000mg/day

[unlaced]

Just a thought, maybe you should (if you haven't already) get a thyroid and diabetes screen.  It's possible the weight gain isn't related to PCOS.  Good luck, hun!

[ALT76]

I talked to my sister tonight and she convinced me to call the doc tomorrow.  I'm just wondering how long it took those of you who've had laps for the scar to heal?  My two lower scars are so healed they are practically invisible, but the scar by my belly button is still purple and red, even hurts to touch on one edge like it's infected, and is VERY hard underneath.  The scar is almost an inch long and is about a half inch below my belly button.  I'm not sure if it's cuz I already had one lap that they didn't go through the belly button again, or because it seems like they cut me open just a little extra there so they didn't have to open me up completely?  Anyway, my surgery was in December and it's going on 8 months now!  I feel like it should be healed at least a little better by now.  I feel like it's been unchanged since within a couple weeks after the lap.  I don't think this is really it, but my sister is concerned that some of the pain could be caused by an infection.  It just feels like endo pain to me, but with my scar so hard and solid (feels like I have a solid pipe going straight into my belly underneath the scar) I can't help but wonder if it was counterproductive and the scarring from my surgery is producing more adhesions?  Whatever the case, I'm gonna get it all checked out this week.  

[ALT76]

thanks for the support ladies.

miky - I'm so sorry for you BFN

Still no sign of af but the pain seems to come and go.  Maybe I'll call the doctor tomorrow.  I've had af induced many times with provera, but not really since I started the metformin 2 years ago.  Maybe once since then, I can't really remember.  I don't want to have to do it.  I don't know why it will make me feel even more defeated like it just shows how messed up my hormones are right now.  I just want to be able to get af on my own like a normal person :o(

[miky72]

I'm so sorry for how your body is reacting.
My last FET (that resulted in a BFN yesterday)I gained 4 pounds in a week and I do not seem to succeed on loosing it..ARRRGHHH..
I would go to the Dr even if it takes the whole day.he might be able to give you something to have AF.
Good luck!

[Houston79]

I'm so sorry to hear of this! My best friend has endo and her struggles mimic yours.  I think you should go to the dr. and see whats up...even if you have to kill 8 hours...I know how that is.  You could hit up a coffee shop with a good book....shop...meet dh for lunch....and maybe take in a movie ( I know...dorky by yourself).  I feel badly you're in so much pain and you're so frustrated.  I hope you get better soon.  Endo is a hard road and I'm sorry for anyone who has it.  HUGS!!!!

[AUNTDD]

Hi, I am so sorry your in so much pain.  My last cycle was 52 days long.  A started to believe AF was never coming bk.  My doc told me it was probley stress. Then when i finally gave up worring about it she came.  Try and relax (I know it's harder than it sounds) The more you worry about it the worse your body tenses up.  Do something fun that makes YOU feel good.  I hope you feel better soon.  Good luck!!!!!

Tammy