Fertility

[Wannabemom1970]

Hello...

I am new to the community so I am a little nervous about talking about this. I was just told today by my OB/GYN that I cannot conceive naturally. I am only 41 years old and am going through menopause. My doctor suggested that I go to see a ferility specialist. I am a bit scared about everything especially if my insurance does not cover the cost. Has anyone been through this?

[Wannabemom1970]

I did not know that some states had grants....I will definitely be looking into that. Yeah...my doctor said that egg donor would be the best way for me to go because of the menopause. It will definitely be a painful check but I think one worth writing because of the reward that ypu get in the end!!

[Wannabemom1970]

Hello...thanks for the words of encouragement and advice. I do not live in IL...I live in Maryland. I am not sure of the self funding but i will definitely research. You told me something that I did not even know.

I do not think that I have done that research because I do not want to find out that my insurance will not pay or pay a very small amount but it is something that I am going to have to face sooner rather than later.

Thanks again

[Jennie1211]

Thanks! Yeah, the cost is unreal...I tell everyone I know who was able to conceive naturally how lucky they are. That was a painful check to write for sure. I do know that some states also offer grants to cover the costs...my friend in South Carolina had applied for a grant. As far as an egg donor is concerned, this would be the best way to go for your money because of the menopause situation, I'm guessing. I know this adds an additional cost, but since we didn't do it, I can't personally expand. There might be a bit of  a wait involved if you choose to go this route, but I might be confusing that with embryo donation (for that I think there is definitely a wait!) I know some ladies on here have split a cycle with someone else to help with the cost, meaning that if there is a batch of eggs from a donor, one person will take half and the other will take the other half. Whatever clinic you choose will likely have this as a possible option to choose from (ours did).

[Wannabemom1970]

WOW....Congratulations....I am so happy for you!! 18k is money that we really do not have. I have not yet checked into my inusrance...i guess I am scared that they will say that they do not cover the costs and that we will have to pay out of pocket.
My friend is definitely on board but I think that he is in a bit of denial because he keeps saying that we can have one on our own which is definitely not the case according to my doctor.
I have read the literature that the ferility clinic sent me and I am definitely going to go. I pray everyday that GOD will bless us with a healthy beautiful baby. I would like to have two but I will be happy with one.
We have talked very briefly about adoption but he wants a child of his own and to tell you the truth so do I.
My doctor told me to look into egg donor...do you know anything about that?

[Marten2009]

Good luck, and stay hopeful and positive! Everything will work out and you will have a beautiful baby!

With the insurance part of it, make sure your insurance isn't self funded and i hope you dont live in IL : ) the reason i say that is because the company i work for is "self funded" which means that they use United health care to recieve claims, and then united tells my company what to pay basically. With that said, if they are "self funded" they do not have to abide by the state mandates saying that they have to cover fertility cost/treatments. I've ran into this in the state of IL where i live. Just research everything 100 percent before making any decisions!

Best of luck!
Mandy

[Jennie1211]

Yes, I should have said that I was able to get pregnant the first time and am currently almost 21 weeks along LOL! My husband was the same way--he did not want to adopt, and quite frankly, he did not even want to go to the fertility specialist (I think he was also in some major denial about some stuff.) The RE really gave him a wake up call (i.e. the biological clock is really ticking for your wife, so get with the program, mister!) so after that he was firmly on board. And yes, it was horribly expensive because we had to have just about every procedure there was (assisted hatching, ICSI, surgery to extract semen from him, the works). All in all, it was almost $18K for the whole protocol (the cost of the meds is absolutely scandalous). We're certainly not rich either, and basically drained our entire savings to do it. It's a big gamble for sure. Have you looked into your insurance yet to verify that none of it is covered? I know some states do cover it from what I've read on these boards...

[Wannabemom1970]

Hello...

Apparently fetility meds will not help me which is what my OB/GYN told me. do have an appointment with a fertility center so I am hoping that they tell me something different. I understand that it is expensive but I am also hoping that my imsurance will cover majority of it.

[Wannabemom1970]

Hi...I am glad to hear that someone else has been through this process. I guess I am lucky or blessed I should say because my OB/GYN referred me to this fertility group who specialize in getting women pregnant. I have already made my appointment which is the friday before christmas. While I want nothing more then to be a parent, I am really concerned that my insurance will not cover it. While I think I have good insurance, its still in the fore front of my mind. I am not wealthy and neither is my friend. We have talked about it and we really want a child but I cannot conceive naturally and he does not want to adopt and to tell you the truth, I wanted to experience the joy of being pregnant and going through child birth. We have talked about surrogacy and have a good girlfriend of mine that said that she would be the surrogate if I did not have a child by the time I was 40.
If you dont mind me asking, did you finally get pregnant and have a child? Was it expensive?

[Jennie1211]

I totally understand the fear and apprehension in going to a fertility specialist. I felt the exact same way when my husband and I were struggling with this issue. At first, it all seems very overwhelming and confusing and there's a ton to learn. However, we were lucky and found a good one that was very honest and upfront about our chances, yet optimistic. We also made sure he had experience and success in dealing with fertility issues for couples over 35. That made a big difference, I think. Doing the consultation is the first step and then you can decide if you want to proceed thereafter. Personally, we had to do IVF because there was no way we could ever conceive naturally either. It's devastating and heartbreaking to get that news, and none of our IVF was covered via insurance either. We still chose to go this route, however, because we really trusted our RE and knew that time was running out for us. You are definitely not alone in how you are feeling, though.

[curiousgeorge80]

Yes I paid outta pocket for my fertility meds 6 yrs ago. But we decided to ttc this past October and now I def know the insurance we have now won't. If this was two yrs ago it would've.