Where's my cycle buddies? :)

[luvkayln]

Hey girls!!! I hope you got my post on our other thread that i'm starting a new one for us! The other one was getting a little too long, plus now we're all in our 2ww! Yay!!!!

[mommyin10]

Not the best luck with my hair today... I remembered what you said as I was getting the shampoo !  it's only the first day, but I have to face the critics at work !  Oh, well... wish me luck :-)

[mommyin10]

vortex:  Believe it or not, I haven't had mood swings.  I told dh he's lucky ! :)  I'm only on round 2, but last time when I took them, I felt like I do when I'm O'ing & I was really tired, but that's it.  I know what you mean about always feeling like you're waiting for the next step.  That's why I started talking to dh about exercising !  I felt lately like all I'm doing is planning, taking meds, etc. & I also feel so lazy.  I've got to get myself moving !  Thanks.  I will take my pills around 3:30 each day.

Luvkayln:  Thanks for the info !  That gives me hope about my little follies in my left ovary.  I O'd from the left last cycle & so when she said there were follies waiting to grow (or something like that), I said, but don't they switch off, so I would O from the right this time?  And she said sometimes they switch off, but my left looks like it's a hard worker ! :)  Because of my AF's poor timing this cycle, it's kind of messing everything else up, too...  I may not get an u/s to see my follies 'cause that would be around cd15-17, which is 4th of July, Sat the 5th, Sun the 6th.  I O'd on cd18 last time, so who knows if that will happen again this time, but maybe I'm just supposed to be patient & hopefully surprised this time around !  :)  You asked if my ob does the IUI or an RE...  I'm guessing an RE, only 'cause she said she'd "refer me".  

leighanne:  I'm cd6, day two of clomid - 50mg.  How are you feeling?

Candie:  What cd are you?  I know you got a +opk... did you O yet?

So, I'm still enjoying the memory of how much fun we had on Monday & how nice it was to just relax!  dh used to have a boat years ago, but we sold it when we bought our house.  (It was in dry storage & deteriorating & we were paying to keep it there!)  Anyway, our plan has always been to buy a boat one day & when we have kids, we'll go fishing, take trips to Catalina (island close by), etc.  So, after our fun day on Monday, now dh is talking more about buying one sooner, possibly 2 years.  It's cool 'cause it seems like we get in such a rut, working, working on the house, etc. & it's nice to actually go & do something !  I think it may have kick-started a summer of more fishing & fun :)

[mommyin10]

Hey, there ! I think luvkayln is said it well :)  I wanted to tell you, don't ever feel like you need to apologize.  I know I told you before, but (as luvkayln said, too) we all feel down & depressed at times.  You are totally not alone !  I think when people say "those things" to you, they're probably trying to boost your spirits, not realizing it's really hurting you.  The only reason I try to stay so positive is because that's really all I've got !  As you know, we are trying SO hard for something & it's completely out of our hands.  So, the only thing we can actually control is our mindset & although it's unbearable at times, we have got to stay positive :)  You are awesome & I'm so glad you're here with us.  Hang in there & know we're ALL here for you :)

[luvkayln]

arlotheslug- Don't be sorry sweetie! We ALL feel the same way, it's hard to deal with the stress of ttc and everything else that comes along with it. I don't know how we keep trying every month, i really don't b/c seeing those -ve's is really depressing every month. But somehow we find that strength in the strongest part of us and keep trying. It takes a strong woman to keep putting herself through the stress of it all, and WE are those strong women! I understand about the $ issue, wondering is all this fertility stuff worth it? Don't listen to those people who say stuff like that to you. I don't even talk to other people about what we're going through b/c i feel that they truly don't understand! The girls on this website get me through everything, and i know you know it's a great support system, that's why you are venting to us! :) So we can be there for you, and when we're down and out, you can build our spirits back up. I guess everyone feels that it's not worth it at times, but when we finally have our baby, finally holding our baby in our arms, that's the ultimate blessing! And all this will have seemed like a bad dream, it'll be all worth it. I'm so sorry you are feeling like this right now, i know it *****, but that's what comes along with all this.... heartache, despair, frustration, sadness, even depression. You didn't offend me when you said that about God, and maybe you don't want to hear it, but He really IS taking care of you. He's my rock, He's what gets me through everyday without my Kayln. And i know there's a reason He blessed us with Kayln, and our time with her was very short, but i would've had her only 8 months like we did then to not have her at all. I feel Him around me all the time, i know He's there. And He's there with you too, whether you feel Him or not, whether you acknoledge him or not, He's there. I'm sorry if you didn't want to hear that, i don't want to upset you, but there's a reason He hasn't given you a baby yet. He will though, we can't see the bigger picture like He can. We don't always understand His reasoning for everything, but one day we will have all the answers, and i'll finally be with my Kayln again. I just want to give you a BIG HUG right now! Don't feel as if you brought us down, you didn't! This is something you needed to get off your chest, and we'll always be here to bring each other back up when we fall! I hope your day gets better, i hope you feel better already! ;) I'll be thinking of ya!

[Arlotheslug]

Yup, here is the honesty.  AND a VENT.  I am sorry - please don't read, if you don't want to get down.  

I am so scared.  At times I do believe, I really do, that I will be pregnant.  But other times I get so scared, wondering if putting my body through all of this is worth it - worrying about how many times I check my temps, see if I o'd, worry about the cost of the accupuncture, the fertility treatments, etc and whether it is worth it.  I know we will have a baby through adoption - that is certain, but I fear I am not always strong enough to go through trying to be pregnant.  Worrying if I stop the accupunture b/c of cost - whether that will be the reason why I don't get pregnant.  Cursing all the souls who say "once you adopt, you will be pregnant," "oh, you will get pregnant a month after us b/c you got engaged a month after us," "as soon as you stop worrying, it will happen," (sorry for this one I don't mean to offend) "it is all part of god's plan - he only gives you as much as you can handle." I get so angry. Angry at the women who smoke with their child in the car, angry at the mothers and fathers who don't appear to understand what a precious gift they have, angry that a women who abuses her children can still have children.  I am just so tired sometimes.  I am Sorry guys, I guess I am really down - trying to get back up and be positve, but having a hard time.  I am sorry.  

[leighanne143]

hi ladies, just checking in on everyone.  how are you all.  is anyone starting a new cycle or in the 2WW again?