jealousy

[blueeyes1893]

I have a question I have been struggling with to answer on my own. First let me explain my situation..I am 22 years old I have married for over a year and a beautiful step daughter that's five years old that I absolutely adore and would give my life up for....I have been trying to conceive for almost a year and im starting to get worried that something is wrong. I have had an anxiety disorder all my life. I take medicine to control it however im not supposed to be "trying".due to birth defects. ...my step daughter's biological mother is pregnant which my step daughter constantly talks about being a big sister which I swallow my pride and let her be excited for her mom as she should be. I wouldn't feel right taking her excitement away I just don't feel right about it.anyway het mother got pregnant in five months and here I am still trying to conceive im getting to the point I just want to cry. I have desperately wanted a child since I have been married so my question is how can I stop this bitter/angry feeling that I feel? When everyone I feel is getting the joy that I want so desperately? Call me selfish or whatever ...I don't know if I should start working on myself or sit here and feel sorry for myself or what. I have just come to the decision that it's not my time and I don't know how to get over this obsession I feel. ....please. ...any advice would be great  thank you

[blueeyes1893]

I agree with that. ....I realize I need to work on my health first I need to work on getting off my medication/ anxiety. ...I'm also a smoker and so is my husband unfortunately but this year im ready to quit and so is my husband I didn't want to mention that because I know would get a comment that im selfish person. ...I know im capable of being a mother some day ....bottom line I know I need to work on myself first im not perfect or proud of it bit I do love my husband and someday I want to share a new life with him.....I still have my moments when i see one of my friends expecting bit im getting to the point I just don't care anymore because it's not my life and it's not my time just yet

[uhmanduhxconrad92]

Sorry for all the typos my phone *****

[uhmanduhxconrad92]

Sorry for all the typos my phone *****

[uhmanduhxconrad92]

I'm going to give you so advice co.king from me a 23 year old who suffers from anxiety disorder...as hard as it may be you should try to ease your way off the medication then try and start it back after you give birth. First the medication can reduce your chances to conceive in the first place and then not to mention the terrible things it can do to your baby....I don't take meds for my anxiety but trust me I can honestly say I have the worst anxiety on earth I just deal with it because I want a big family....try to get the courage to start we gaining of off of he meds then try when your off.  It will be beat for you And your poor baby....I never took meds in my life NFL my daughter suffers with  very serious heart defect that can take her away for me and like I said you don't want to take that medicine and get pregnant because yeah you may become pregnant bit when you have a baby you don't want to have another thin to worry about and worry about being taken away that will make your anxiety worse..ya know

[tasha0918]

Thanks blueeyes I'm doing better. It has been pretty hard and I think about it almost everyday, but I have to let it go and calm down myself which I'm learning to do also, so I know how u feel...a friend of mine told me about this book called "the secret" it's supposed to help you calm down and manafiste positive energy and help mediate. I'm going to check it out maybe you should too

[blueeyes1893]

Thank you for everyone's input on my situation. ....I have not tried any natural remedies from my anxiety which I'm very open to the idea. ..I have ptsd from childhood trauma and I went to get help for it and before I knew it I was getting medication for it I have been listening to videos on YouTube to try to practice how ro calm myself because I really do want to get off of my medication ....tasha I am so sorry for your loss I can't even begin to think what you must be feeling

[tasha0918]

I would speak to someone else to get an different opinion, but I would not try to convceive while on those meds you have no idea what kind of defects they can cause and you would have to live with that forever...I totally understand your feelings because I feel the same way, I'm 28 and been married for three years and we've had our issues and once we finally got our positive we lost the baby...and what makes it worse all my friends are having babies, I feel angry, and sad and feel like why me and notting is fair and I just have to let it go and move on at some point which is hard but it is out of my control. Have u tired mediation or any thing natural to help with the anxiety?? Any natural remedies out there so that it doesn't cause any harm??

[icelemon]

I agree with Lkay25.  Hv you tried other alternative.  Like exercise.  Zumba or yoga might help u relax.  If not go seek a diff opinion.

[Lkay25]

I understand what you're saying but you have to keep in mind what you're risking if/when you do conceive. As long as you are on that medication.. You run a high risk of birth defects. It may be worth seeing a different doctor/getting a second opinion about your meds or something. Better safe than sorry

[blueeyes1893]

I have spoken to the doctor about my meds and the answer I got was I could only switch to a medication that I am unfortunately allergic to. ..then I was told that there was nothing she could do besides wait for my anxiety to "go away" I don't really understand what that means considering I never heard of anxiety just disappearing....and yes I definitely want my child to be healthy it's just very hard for me to accept that my body isn't capable to try to conceive right now yes I am only 22 but my husband is almost 30

[Lkay25]

I agree. There is a reason your as to why you shouldn't get pregnant while on those meds. It is way to risky. You need to speak with a doctor before even thinking about conceiving.

[icelemon]

The first thing you should do is stop taking the meds that will cause birth defects.  Why will you want to take that chance.  Dont you want a healthy baby.  After that, you may wanna start taking prenatal vitamins.  You are only 22.  You still hv a long period of time to try.  Good luck.