ready to quit

[wanabb]

Hi ladies I just need to get this off my chest
We have been ttc for almost 3 years I have done five rounds of clomid without even ovulating.  I was suppose to start follistim when i got back from vacation.  here is my predicament...

My vacation was wonderfull, four whole weeks without ttc!  no pills (other than metformin), no peeing on things, no temping it was great.  Hubby and I acted like we did when we first got married I like not ttc, I felt more like the me I remember, the me hubby fell in love with.  
So we got back yesterday and i'm horrified to call my doc and get follistim.  I don't want to deal with disappointment all over again.  I thought some time off would help me want to ttc again, it backfired and I don't know what to do.

[usuk]

take a break. time is on your side. you probably miss your family so much that you are crazily focused to make a family of your own. i wish you some peace and good luck.

[Susan727]

I agree with everyone else, it might be good to take a little longer break.  Stress plays a major role of not being able to conceive and the fact that you miss your family is probably stressing you out more than you realize.  

You mentioned that you were back to your old self when you were on vacation.  While everyone's number one goal on this forum is to get pregnant you really need to keep your relationship with your hubby a top priority as well.  Infertility plays a major role in marital stress and of course marital stress plays a major role with infertility.  It's a vicious cycle.  

Give yourself as long as you need.  Keep that feeling that you had with your husband while you were on vacation.  If it's three weeks or three months, if you start back up with a fresh mind you'll find that you'll be able to deal with the the dr's appts, peeing on things, and pills a lot better than right now.  

Good luck!

[BabyBlue07]

I think you should take a break....Whenever you feel so frustrate and feeling trap... you should take it easy and take a break to relax.

I frustrated and upset every cycles... I did 7 round of clomid and 5 round of femara... it's not working.. I ovulated and my dh sperms are healthy.  just  my age plays major role.... we tried for 21 months and it changed our lives from better to worst... i constantly upset.. my mood changed... from a good attitute turn to bad attitude... My dh realized and told me stop trying to have baby... if having a baby make me changed, he rather have my old self back than having a baby...well.. we decided to take a break.. my last fertility medicines was in march.. when my last period 4/4/09.. I stopped taking medicine and just let my body relax.. my mind didn't think about TTC.... completely relax and enjoy life just like it before... Somehow, I ovulated and got pregnant by end of april...

I supposed to have period in 5/2 but didn't get it... I waited until 5/9 (it's a week late) and my period haven't come... i thought something wrong here but because I was having a surgery in 4/17 and my doctor told me my period might delay.. so I didn't pay attention to my period.. Even my period wasn't coming, but my boobs were sore.. i asked my doctor what was wrong... so i took pregnancy test in 5/14 and i got positve....didn't believe what i saw, but it's true...I am now close to 22 weeks pregnant..

What i believe is when you let your body relax.. you will conceive easier and faster... Just don't give up and when you need to take a break.. take one...

Good luck to you and hope you will get your BFP soon..

[snooglebeans]

oh you poor thing...that is quite a combination of things to get you down.  :(   It's always hard to leave one's family if there is a close bond there.  I get sad every time I leave my parents (despite the fact that they drive me crazy!)...but I am lucky to have a few of my siblings who live 15 minutes away.  

Will you get to see your family again around the holidays?

I think waiting another 3+ weeks will be a good thing for you.  You don't have to make any decisions right now.  Maybe next month, you will feel ready to jump back into things or maybe you will decide you need a little more time.  And if you do need more time...then that's ok!  

[wanabb]

jenny5- yes i have pcos, but not classic pcos, i'm thin and my hormones are normal, i just have very large amounts of cycts and no af.

thank you all for your support, I know i am still young.  I think a really big part of my stress/depression is that my vacation was to see my whole family 1600miles away.  Returning home meant it is just dh and I.  I love my husband more than anything but i miss my family, I think that and returning to ttc combined to make one really emotional day.  I'm so lucky to have you ladies to talk to, thank you again.  I called my doc and she wants me to take prometrium first then wait for af so i have at least another three weeks to get myself put back together.  

[Jenny5]

I know completely what you mean.I have been ttc for a long time 4 years but the last 3 years for me have been very difficult. 3 m/c and 3 failed ivf.We have payed a lot of money on this thing but having a baby is our first priority.I have been so down every time that i m/c and then with the 3 ivf being negative is not really the greatest thing. But every time i had a dissapointment i think how much i want a baby and then i start again.
I had 5 months of clomit and i never ovulated like you. Then i jumped on injections and i got pregnant 3 times with only timed bd even though i m/c each time. Take some time if you need to but don't give up. You are still young. Are you taking metformin cause of PCOS? If so your battle is harder but don't give up. I know i haven't even after so much suffering and dissapointments. Take care

[snooglebeans]

I just saw that you're 25..so I think you have much more flexibility here.  I know that just because you're 25 does not make it any less difficult and it does not mean that you want a baby any less...but it does mean that you have more time and that taking a 6-12 month break (or longer if necessary) would not jeopardize your fertility in any way.  

[snooglebeans]

I can totally understand your hesitation.  It's such a mental, emotional and physical journey.

Maybe you just need a longer break?  Or could you consider trying another medication or treatment for ovulation purposes rather than ttc purposes?  Maybe if you focus on just trying to get your cycles regular and trying to ovulate, getting healthy and doing things that make you happy..then you will be ready to try again at some point.

Hugs...I know how hard it is.  

[Preciouspg]

Hi There, I feel that you should be yourself in eveything that you do.  I think that all the things people do to try so desperately to become pregnant stresses out our body so much that it becomes unhealthy mentally and physically.  Because you don't like feeling stressed over trying to become pregnant I think you already know what you'd like to do.  Keeping yourself healthy both mentally and physically will definately give you a better chance at conceiving and remember God above is on your side and he will provide you with all that you need.  May God Bless You!  

[GiGiGiGi]

I am so glad to hear that you had a wonderful vacation.  Isnt it nice to be able to step away and forget about all this ttc stuff?

My advice to you would be to go with your gut.  It sounds like you need a break.  You are 25 years old right now and have a lot of reproductive years ahead of you.  Why not put ttc on the backburner for a little while?

I'm 36 right now, and if time were on my side BELIEVE ME we would be taking a VERY long break right about now.  

That is just my two cents worth.  Whatever decision you make, I wish you all the best!

Gigi