Babynr BFN, still trying to pull myself together

[babynr]

I KNEW it was negative, at least my body wasn't lying to me.  We're devestated to say the least. We really believed this was our shot.  Finally told my husband's parents what was going on, (old world Greek, didn't think they'd understand that they're beautiful 6'2" strapping son could posssibly be infertile.)  Much to our surprise, apparently male infertility is his family's dirty little secret.  2 of his cousins and an uncle have all needed help from IUI to IVF x3.  OMG had we known we could have started this all 2 years ago.  I'm shattered, 2 years as you all know is a lot of time wasted especially that I was 43 then and now 45.  I don't know what to do doc calling in pm.  I'll keep you posted, Thank-you for all your support, many hugs to those that are BFP, looks like a good run this week with BFP's, just wasn't my turn.   May the angels watch over you all.

[babynr]

Thank-you all so much for your support, I was telling DH last night what a wonderful group of women come to share here and don't kknow anything about you except that they want to help, inspiring.  Spoke to clinic this am, no AF yet.  I can't even begin to entertain the idea of delayed implantation.  19 days post petrie dish conception,17 days post transfer, hcg negative.  More roller coaster ahead, repeat hcg tuesday if no AF.  My second pregnancy was like this, neg poas,late positive hcg, near miscarriage at 12 weeks and fetal demise at 22 weeks.....I don't know which is worse?  More waiting...yippee:(

[Zoe2B]

I saw Lisa's post about wishing you ahd a BFP, but I never saw this post until now, and it brought me to tears. You sound like you are doing exactly the right thing.. allowing yourself to grieve. When I lost my previous pregnancy, I didn't realize how important that aspect of recovery is. Once I allowed myself to just cry and feel the sadness, it just felt right. You are very brave. You and your husband will be in my prayers. I hope that your RE, who sounds awesome by the way, can figure out some options for you so you can try again soon.
Much love to you,
wendy

[jastinker]

I am hopeful for you and I know next time will do the trick for you and DH. There are a few drug companies that give you free meds for your 3rd cycle, I hope it all goes exactly as you hope.

[StillTrying101]

Oh hon, I feel for you. I was just reading your posts, and I've seen you on here. I'm so sorry. At least you allow yourself to cry and be sad. It is sad.
Hang in there, who knows what they will do or say.

[babynr]

Thanks guys it means so much, hubby at work, I just did housework and sobbed all day.  It just feels good to grieve.  Can't heal and do more of this **** if you don't. RE nurse called today, OMG they're all so sad, we were their first canadians and we had to totally bond over the phone during all this, absolutely wonderful group of people.  My RE is going to try and work something out for us..don't know what yet cuz we're out of embryos and money.  Thanks to you all for your tears and hugs.  :(...

[iluvdasies]

i am so sorry.  it is so hard to hear the dreaded bfn.  just know i am thinking of you.  hugs.

[jastinker]

Babynr,

I am so sorry and am crying with you. I was so hoping for a BFP with you! I hope your RE has good news for you for next time. Take time just for you and DH today. My heart os very heavy, I am thinking of you!