My best friend passed away almost exactly a year ago (the anniversary will be Sunday, the 16th). I'm planning on calling her parents, with whom I am close, to touch base and let them know I'm thinking about them and their daughter. She died in the city where we had been living together, but I've since moved out of the country, and I don't know if I'm going to be able to get back up there this weekend. I guess I don't even know what exactly what I would do there, since nearly all of our friends have dispersed all over the globe since then.
So my question is, does anyone have any suggestions for different ways to honor and remember her on the anniversary? It's really, really important for me to do this, but I've been struggling to think of ways to do so when I can't be there, or with her family of with our friends. Perhaps just taking the day off to really think, reflect, cry, laugh, remember; maybe doing something that she would have enjoyed of writing about my memories of her? Every day is hard, but I just feel compelled to remember in a more special way on the anniversary. Many thanks.
You and she had a unique relationship. There were things you probably did together. Thoughts you shared. I like the idea of taking a day off if you can to do something she would have loved doing with you. Think of how she might like you to remember her.
It isn't necessary to be with her parents to honor her. As time passes, and friends move on with their lives, our memorials tend to become more personal.
My son was murdered on March 6. I look forward to his birthday Aug 10. That is day I will be thinking of him. I feel his presence, and joking remarks all the time. Your friend sounds as though she was lots of fun too. So we remember, we honor and celebrate their lives. Remember to thank her for all she gave while here.
You could write a poem about the last Year and how much You have struggled and missed her (hard to face) I know but it May be able to help You feel closer as though You're letting her know and communicating still with her. You could write a piece of writing and organise a picnic or lunch somewhere nice a beach or ocean and let burn the note let it go after You have written it or put it in a bottle and let it float out. It must be hard and I am "Sorry" You're going through this remember You and Your friend shared something that can never be taken away from You.
Thank you both very much for your suggestions, they're really good ideas. I'm going to plan something special, I think, and go somewhere we went together around where I'm now living. I will also be writing about her, because she wanted to be a writer and I think she would appreciate being honored in that way. 29sillygirl, I'm sorry for the loss of your son. That must be so incredibly difficult, and I appreciate you sharing your experience and your thoughts. Thank you!
You are welcome, I believe that the choice you make up will end up being something very special and meaningful either way. I hope that it turns out how you want and I am glad that you're able to speak about this with someone..
This is a similar thing I am dealing with as well... My best friend was murdered last September ( on my birthday) I don't know how to deal with this loss! We were there for each other on relationships and everyday issues and I don't know how to move on. My boyfriend feels like I can't give him my full heart because I still love and am very sad about losing him. My bf tries to be supportive and wanted to be there for me on my b-day but I didn't want to celebrate or have any type of recognition of the day. With all that said... I thought it'd help to get a tattoo to help me honor him... I just don't know what other personal (internal) things to do to help me stop breaking down or keep it building up...
I honored my mother's anniversary by visiting her grave and putting white flowers that she loved in life. I also dedicated a mass in her memory by going to my parish office and requesting a special mass for her anniversary in advance (only if applicable and different religious denomination or non at all). A special prayer wouldn't hurt either, but all you can do to honor her is truly to remember and celebrate her life and memory.
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