1 year anniversary

[LLWB]

I lost my husband on July 29, 06. Sun day will be one year. He was diagnosed in April and died in July. Lung,cancer lymph node, 2 brain tumors, spinal tumors, bone cancer, and liver cancer. I still cannot get over his loss. I had to sell our dream ranch. Our horses, mules, cows. His beloved dog passed away 2 months later of grief. I had to move into town. I kept him at home and nursed him thru his final days, which were horrible. The brain tumors and the morphine at the end caused him to be paranoid, and thinking we ( me, and all of his kids) were out to "get" him. It was so awful. It is so hard to focus on how much we loved each other, and all of our wonderful times together, when his last days were so awful. I tore my achilles tendon caring for him, and herniated a disc in my neck moving, which I just had removed and my neck fused. Every day I just feel like I want him back so badly I can't stand the pain. I am on anti-depressants and sleeping pills, as I have to work, and can't function without sleep.I ache to hold him in my arms one more time. Everytime I smell a man with the same cologne on I look for him. I see him in men on the street, but then realize he is gone. I know he is in a better place, and blessedly pain free, but I'm not. I lost my mother to Alzeheimer's disease 6 years ago, my sister-in-law- of 20 years to a sudden anyerism 3 weeks before my mom, and my father 2 years ago to a sudden massive heart attack. My life doesn't seem to have much meaning anymore. I read all the postings on this site, and my heart goes out to you all.  My one blessing is my church family, without their love and support, my life would be bleak indeed. Please, any of you believers, pray for me on Sunday.

[LLWB]

Thank you all so much for your words and prayers. I did make it through "the day". After church, I hid out in my house the rest of the day and numbned my mind by watching TV, which I hardly ever do. But the day is over. I'm going out of town this weekend, as the memorial service was a year ago this weekend, and I could not stand to be in town. I look at special days on the calendar ahead of time, but on the day, the bad ones, my mind just refuses to acknowledge it. Then a couple of days later I say to myself, "Oh, that was a couple of days ago" Funny how our minds work. I have been trying to exercise and walk. My brother, last living older relative, insists my body loves exercise. I tell him he's nuts! LOL Again, thanks so much. Ding Ding sorry for your loss. And everyone, I'm sure you wouldn't be posting here if you hadn't suffered a loss at some time. Prayers to all.

[Ding Ding]

I also will pray for you.  My husband of 26 years died 11 years ago of a heart attack. We had a great marriage & I didn't think I could make it without him. The Lord showed me He would help me every step of the rest of my life if I'd stay close to Him. Time will ease the grief some, but what helped me most was to force myself to reach out to help someone else who was hurting.
I just lost my 13 year old grandson. This is also very hard, but I have full faith in Jesus Christ as my Savior and I've committed my life & those of my loved ones to Him. Even though it hurts to be separated for a while, I am convinced I will see them again in Heaven!
A GREAT SCRIPTURE FOR YOU IS JEREMIAH 29:11 "FOR I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU, DECLARES THE LORD, PLANS FOR WELFARE AND NOT FOR CALAMITY TO GIVE YOU A FUTURE AND A HOPE."

Ding Ding

[Gabrielle Genet]

Hello,

I am sorry to hear of your loss, and I will pray for you too -- Read PSALM 40 .


You should feel that your life Does have meaning since you were so loved by your husband and family. (Do not be mislead into thinking that it doesn't)  I know it is difficult to move and uproot your life, but you can eventually plan on being in a place that you will like to be in. Also, continue any activities that you previously enjoyed and consciously plan on ways to bring joy back into your life during this time.

Take Care

[suzi-q]

I will pray for you, also.  It takes time...lots of time, but you need to try your best to move forward with your life. You know that is what he wants for you.  Remember that you will see him again and celebrate the life that you had together.  I am telling you now, many people do not find the love that you describe.  You were very blessed to share a life with someone who touched you so completely.  Remember, life is not judged by how many breaths you take, but by how many times your breath is taken away....you seem to have experienced the greatest love of all and that love will always be with you.

[sunsarethebest]

Ill pray for you