Feeling Lost

[etaxitpo]

Hello everyone-

I have posted on this forum before when my mom was ill.  My mama just passed away on Jan. 30th.  I am an only child and this was always my worst fear in life -- it has come true...

I feel an emptiness and a void that I cannot find the correct word or words to describe.  I am married and I still have a my father, but I miss my mom.  We were soooooo close that I a part of me aches for her.  How do I get past this?  I feel like my life with never be the same.

Often times I feel her presence or hear her telling me she is okay.  Is this real or just something in my head to give me some comfort some relief?  I know I need help to get through this.

Please help me

[Neta100]

Sorry to hear about your loss.  I lost a dear man who was like a dad to me on Sept. '07 and although I knew that he was sick and that it would come a time he would eventually die, it was hard seeing him die.  He spent the last week of his life in the hospital connected to tubes and machines, and I knew it was time to let him go.  His family  and friends told him that if he wanted to go, that it would be OK, they would be fine.  And he died peacefully.

His wife, his lifetime partner, suffered so much and has overcome a lot since his death.  On his one year death anniversary, a mass was given and his wife was still affected by his death and so was I.  But I know he is watching us from above and looking out for us and that one day, we'll meet again and have a blast, like in the past.

Take a day at a time and grieve.  There is no time limit to grieve, but there would come a time when things will get better, easier and you'll be able to go on with your life.  I still miss him and a lot, but I have kept him in my heart and mind, and I cherish his memories.

God bless you.

Neta

[Caroline565]

I am sorry for the loss of your Mom. It is especially difficult when we are very close and are able to enjoy almost a friendship in an adult relationship. Moms hold a very special place in our hearts. I know because this is the type of relationship I had with my own Mother.

I did have the experience of her coming to me in a dream but not everyone has this happen. It was very comforting to me although I know there are a lot of skeptics out there. I used to be one of them so I do understand. One thing I am sure of, she is watching over you. I hope that over time, you will find peace in knowing that.

It's not easy losing a parent. Both my parents are gone and I miss them too. The one thing that made it a little easier was the fact they were both very ill with no chance of recovery. You're going to feel that void probably for a long while but you know, after five years I have begun to fill that void with her memory.

[etaxitpo]

Thank you for your response.

I too was holding my mom when she took her last breath.  I asked her before she passed away to let me know she was okay.  I am waiting and very open to whatever sign she can give me.

[Judy246]

I am so very sorry on the passing of your mother.  My mother Cathy died in my arms on July 19th from Congestive Heart Failure and diabities, so I understand deep pain of  the loss of "mom".

There are no words to discribe what we have experienced. It is life changing and I will NEVER be the same, never. I have my 84 yr. father, who is devistated. It breaks my heart to hear my father say, "I'm destroyed". They were married 54 yrs. and suffered a heart attack 4 yrs. ago.  I'm scared that the death of my mom is going to stress his heart.  His heart will not be able to take it, since only portion of it is functioning properly and I know I will go through this again.

I had 7 deaths back to back.  My brother married, a week later my mom died, a week later, mom's brother-in-law died, a week later, my fiance's father whom I loved dearly died, two months later two friend wives died of cancer, 5 months later, my mom's best friend who attended her wake and burial died suddenly, my beloved dog who I had for 13 yrs. died, lost my job in May and two week before Christmas, my brother loss his first unborn child.  

Death was hanging out in my house and around my friends. I became physically sick...couldn't cry or my throat would swell almost shut, but I got through with the help of my faith in God.  He gave me the streight to go on one day at a time.

You will have good days and you will have very bad days, but it will be necessary to go through the stages of the grief process and it will be very difficult.  Death is raw and there is no way around this one.

I have cried like a lost child searching for my mom. I once went to the cemetary to visit and through myself on her grave, alone, sobbing and wailing calling out for my mother...I cried "mommy, where are you?....where are you?  It is devistating.

Please remember that your mom would never want you or your family to suffer in anyway...it would break her hear and you are an extention of your mother and that the love that both of you have for each other, not even death can take away, it is eternal and one day when God will call on you, your precious mother is going to come running to you at the gates from heaven and be the guiding light and show you the way.

It's going to be ok....one day at a time.

God Bless...Judy