I'm so very sorry for all you're enduring. Your dad has obviously been dealing with his own demons for many years, so know that anytime he hurt you...it was not intentional. The alcohol takes over and it's in control of his mind and body and he is where he is today as a result of it. It's sad that he was never able to get help and stop drinking but he had to want help to get it. You need to forgive so that you don't carry and hurt or anger with you through life, and have peace in your heart. Your dad is very sick, and sadly now is the time for you to say whatever you want him to know. Please don't take his actions or words personally, it's not him talking it's the alcohol and his health. Alcoholism has destroyed so many people and families...it's sad...but also a very difficult thing to conquer. Make amends with your dad so that both of you can find some peace in your hearts from this very sad situation. Big hugs to you....
For some reason not all of that comment printed. It was supposed to say "parents, not patents." Sorry for the typo.
What you are seeing is the physical and mental damage caused by long-term alcoholism. All his wife can do is either accept that he is slipping away, or have him committed. And unfortunately I don't think there is a lot you can do at all, besides be supportive of her.
I am so sorry, but you cannot make him change, even in the small way of getting him to take his meds. Speaking as someone who lost her dad when my patents divorced, you ultimately have to accept that he is someone who is gone to you, even when he is still alive.
Again, I am so sorry. I don't think alcoholics ever realize what they do to the people who care about them.