Will I ever see the good again?

[LynMCo]

Hi, My 1st time posting. The last year has been a long and difficult one. It's a long story but, the most devastating thing that happened was, I lost the baby girl I'd raised since she was 3 1/2 months, and who'd just turned 4. Had just about finished w/ home study to finalize adoption, had a temporary bump in the road, and cps took her. Tried to fight in court but, lost in 5 days. I never even got to say goodbye to her. All she knows is suddenly Mommy was gone. My husband was allowed 1 visit in March. He took some pics. and they were heartbreaking! My beautiful, happy, little angel looked like she had the world on her shoulders. Her eyes which always sparkled, were of an old soul. I've begged the worker to let me see her 1 last time so I can reassure her that I do still love her and that she didn't do anything wrong, etc... So far my pleas have fallen on deaf ears. I've been majorly depressed since the end of Jan. I guess this could be a small attempt to pull myself back from the edge I'm standing on, anyways thanks for listening.

[AnnieBrooke]

I got a lot of good out of a recent session with a grief and loss counselor.  I cried through half of it, but it helped even to be able to spell out what was going on in a cogent way.  She was very useful.  Get out and try it, it can just do an absolute world of good.

[LynMCo]

It's dead and done as far as the baby goes. I'm looking into certain things the worker did. I do need counseling and meds. My soon to be ex cut off my insurance in Jan. I've been too wrapped up in my grief, ?? to deal with anything but, I know I just have to drag myself out of this black cave. Thanks

[AnnieBrooke]

See a counselor.  There are social workers who specialize in grief issues, and it can really help.  Do you have any legal help?