baby justice

my daughter justice was 4 when she passed away i dranked a long time because of guilt because of this I had a happy home a single parent of 4 and a great career as a police and i let my baby down.  I am now in recover and it is a struggle every day to just forgive myself. it is good to know there is others that i can share that feel the way that i do that never forget their babies.  I feel that my friends and family get tired of hearing it thanks for been hear new to the site feel better all ready

[mammo]

I am so sorry for all you've endured and very proud of all you've accomplished.  Losing a child is the worst loss anyone can endure and very hard to recover from.  Your precious child lives on in you, be the type of person that would make her proud as she looks down on you!  You can't undo the past so you have to make the most of today, and take it one day at a time.  I always suggest journaling your feelings and thoughts, putting these down on paper serves as a form of release for us and has proven to be very therapeutic.  Write letters to your little girl and apologize to her while letting her know how much you love her and always will. You have other children who are depending on you and you need to give them 100% of yourself, and this will allow you to forgive yourself for anything you feel guilty about.  I'm sure your little girl has forgiven you so don't let her down by not forgiving yourself.  Don't worry about anyone getting tired of hearing about this, scream it to the world if you must!  You're dealing with a lot and have every right to want to talk about it.  We're always here for you.  Big hugs.

[lisaob1]

my daughter was 3 yrs 9 months..when she passed too..i lost her in 1996...i know how u feel ....

[AnnieBrooke]

When I finally went in for grief counseling, it was the best thing.  If you haven't been to a counselor who specializes in grief counseling (versus a recovery counselor) you might give it a try.  It can help so much.