For me, when pain and sadness lingers, often what is in the mix is some buried anger as well as the grief. Addressing the anger, can unlock also the pain and sadness. One way to find it is to look at what about the situation fits this sentence -- "It's so unfair that ..." and fill in the blank. Then follow that idea. The stuff that is unfair when something bad happens is the stuff that keeps you so linked to it, and if you can find ways to address your indignation at the unfairness (even if it is just railing angrily at God about that part of it), you can help yourself move forward. You will never not love your mom, you will never forget her, but you can unlock the cloud of sadness and have a more normal life. Good luck.
Losing your mom is a terrible loss, and one that's difficult to accept. Plus, you lost her so young! I lost both my parents in a car accident when I was 25, and it took a long time for me to accept it. I'm sure all your family misses her just as much, we all deal with grief in our own way, and none are right or wrong, just what helps each of us. It helped me to get into therapy, to sort it all out. It may be due to the holidays which makes us all think more about the loved ones we've lost. Just know the thing your mom would want most, is for you to be happy. Live a life that would make her proud and you both happy. If this lingers after the holidays, seek therapy to help you cope. Another thing that helped me was to write to my parents. It's very therapeutic for us as it is a form of release. I hoped they could hear the words I wrote and I did feel better. Big hugs to you and take care.
thank you for your comments i am going to try these things. i dont want to forget her i just want to be able to accept this is the way its going to be. its just to me eveyone else has forgotten her it seems. im going to try and keep a journal and or some poems. maybe thinking about it that way will help. thanks again all
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