ungle is dying of cancer

[edith929]

i  really  need  some   help   and  someone  to  talk    to     on  a  a  very  touchy   subject   in  our  family     my  ungle    has  battleling  with  cancer    for  the  past  six  yrs  i  know  that  is  a  long  time       know  it  is  to  the  point     where  he  in  pain  all  the  time     and  he  sleeps  all  the  time        me  and  my  mom  were  over  there  last  week  and  my  aunt  told  him  we  were  here     he  opened  his    eyes  and  held  our  hand     and  then  closed  his  eyes  again       we  hoping  it  wont  take  long      he  is  in  so  much  pain      he  doesnt  eat  anymore      he  only  gets  liquids    i  am  getting  upset   as  im  writting    this  i  really  need  someone  to  talk  to       i  joined  another  forum     last  week  and  still  nobody  is  talking  to  me       in  that  forum            

[edith929]

he  started  getting  sick    about  this  time      in  2001       me  and  mom  really   miss    him  alot      the  others  miss  him  alot  also      he  died  five  days  after  getting    sick    we  never  did  find  out  how  he  got  so  ill     we  thought  he  had  the  flu    but  we  never  knew  how  sick  he  was     we  were  in  the    process   of  recarpeting    the  hole  building      just    the  day   before   he  died we got  done he  said  thank  god  i  can  rest  in  peace      we  never  couild  emation    how  true  that  was    he  was  sick  all  week        

[edith929]

he  was  a hard  man  to  take     of  im  sure  the  nurses  did  everything  for  him   he  just  hated  to  be  fussed  with      that  is  why  he  wasnt  in  the  hospital     when   he  got  sick  he  refused  to  go      he  was  a  gentle  man  most  of  the  time      but  when  doesnt  feel  good     he  is  very  grumpy      he  started  getting  sick  about  this  time  in  2001    one  week  later  he  was  gone      it  is  really  hard  on  my  mom     she  is  still  trying  to  deal  with  her  sister      we  just  now   found   last  night  that  she  is  leaveing  for  st  louise     on  saturday    she  might  be  gone  for  a  month     my  mom doesnt  want  her  to  go    but  we  know  she  needs  to  be  with   her  family        

[mommy52]

Edith, I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. Dear, I fel for you in the loss of father. I too get sad since my Mom passed on Christmas night. Mistakes were made by hospital staff. She should not have died. If I dwell on this, I get angry and it hurts me. So- what I can tell you is that I pull the good times out and remember them. I never forget the sick times she had. If I were to then I would want her back her. I now know she is without pain and happy. I know she is just "stirring up something special" this Christmas as she always did. Just remembering how she would say that brings a smile. Will be remembering you in prayer. Blessings. Madlyn

[edith929]

some  how  they   keep   on  loosing   my  pass  word       i  dont  know   if  this  happens   to  you    but  if  i  dont  post  awile    they  always  ask   for  my  password      they  usually  have  to  sent  it  a  couple   of   times    before  i  get  the  right  password       well  heres  my  dad  story      we  had  a  christmas   party     five  days    before   christmas     we  do  this  every  year      with  the  residents    families        we  usally   have   about  hundred   people     there  was  nothing    wrong    with  him   then      he  loved  to  party      that  was  on  the  20    of  december       four  days  later     he  couild nt  hardly      move  we  thought  he  had  the    flu       that  was  on  christmas  eve      of  course  we  couildnt  get  a  docters    appointment     on  the  26    we  found  his  kidneys  were   failing     we  never  did  find  out  why     on  the  29    he  died      

[margypops]

I hope the other posters get back to you, your Dad sounds like he was very special and talented to have designed a retirement home ,it is a wonderful memory of him, and I expect you really like inviting the residents families to Christmas Buffet 100 is a lot of folks I bet that keeps you busy,and Family run it again a great interest, it is understandable your Aunt would want to go to Family for the Holidays. Its good to talk about them isnt it  I believe in the talking they are still part of our lives, I hope you have a wonderful party .

[edith929]

he  started    not  feeling  well   about  this  time        we   own  a  retirement   home  which  he  desighned  on  his  own      he  wouild  stay  up  hours  on  end     doing  all  the  sketches       all  by  him  self        weve  had  this home  for  twenty  yrs     every  yr  we  invite  the  residents    families     for  christmas  buffet     we  usally  have  about     a   hundred    people        my  mom  and  i  really    miss  him  alot      i  do  have  2  brothers  and  2  sisters      but  some  times    my  dad  was  hard  to  deal   with    one  sister  and   1   brother   are  part   of  the  bussiness    my  brother  is  the  maintance    man  and  my  sister  is  is  co  owner       they  dont  get  along  very  well     because  of  the  buissness      this  hole  family  buissness   was  my  dads   idea     i  got  to  go   and  have  lunch  now      talk  later    

[edith929]

sorry  i  havent    posted  in  a  while      i  lost  the  sight  web  address     and  now  i  got  it  back     my  aunt  is  doing  okay     she  really  misses  him  alot    during  the  holidays       we  know  what  she  is  going    through    my  dad  started   getting  sick  about  this  time  in  2001     before  he  died      so  we  know  what  it  is  like      my  aunt  wants  to  go  to  st  louise    for  christmas      but  we  got  a  major  snow  storm      last  night  so  we  dont  know  if  or  when  she  is  going      we  live  in  colorado      it  is  going  to  take  about   28  hours  to  get  there  my  mom  doesnt  want  her  to  go    but  she  under  stands  that  she  has  to  be   with  her  family  

[mommy52]

It was so good to hear from you and know you are doing as well as expected. These times of the year are hard for any experiencing grief. We all have been there or still there. Pleasekeep talking. I even talk to a stuffed animal or our pet if no one else available. I get so confused, I can't even get my feelings out sometimes. Nonetheless I still try. I do know we need not to keep things inside and to ourselves. I am glad you felt like talking about your Dad and his death. I hope it helps to talk about it. For me it does. I am thankful that I found this site. I can express my feelings and thoughts and do not have to see the expressions of those reading them. If someone is reading my post and doesn't want to finish--they can stop and I never know it. On the other hand, if they read it and wish to comment--then no matter whether I like what they say or not, I know they cared enough to comment. Remember I'm here. May sound a little flaky at times, but I do care. Keep in touch. Prayers to your family.
To : 98acer- So sorry to hear about the death of your Dad  this past year (good friday) Do know that we here are for you also as you approach the holidays . We are here for not only the holidays but for all days. Main thing is not to keep feelings to yourself. Others are out here and they care and are there for you.  Love you both.  Madlyn

[98acer]

i lost my dad good friday of this year your dad sonds like mine lol i miss him ...but it is hard to talk about my dad some times somy dad died of lung canser......so sorry you ungel passaway....ti is hard to i will prat for your famly ......may god bless you

[edith929]

he    died  very  suddenly     five  days  after  christmas  2001    he  got  very  sick  on  christmas   eve   we  thought   he  had  the  flu        four  days  later  his  kidneys  shut  down      for  no  reason     hes  already  had  several    heart  attack     so  he  didnt  like  hospitals      he  was  a  gentle  man    most  of  the  time     he  sometimes  wouild  blow  up       we  just  left  him  alone  at  those  times      the  day  he  died   me  and  my  sister  went  to  drop  off   some  blood  work  for  him     and  then  we  went  to  a  pet  shop   we  were  only  gone  for  an  hour  and  half      and  he  died  while  we  were  going  back  home        my  aunt  is  doing  better      she  is  leaving  for  st  louise     a couple  days  after  thanksgiving       to  be  with  her  granchildren    she  might  be  gone  till  after  christmas      

[edith929]

i  didnt  have  axcess   to  a  computer  for  quit  a  while      mine  crashed    and   my  moms   wasnt  working  well      we  got  my  moms  fixed  today    and  mine  is  going  to  get    hooked  up  tommarrow     with  none  of  our  working     we  got  back  locked    my  aunt    is  doing  better      

[mommy52]

I haven't seen you post in a while. How's things going for you. Keep in touch and know that if ever you need to talk, I'm here.   Madlyn

[mommy52]

Sounds like your aunt is blessed to have family such as you and your mom so close. Remeber you saying you would talk about you dad later. When you are ready, we are here. Good to hear from you. Blessings and prayers. Madlyn

[edith929]

my  aunt  lives  right  down  the  road     from  us   so  we  talk  everyday      this  is  the  first  time  shes  been    alone      everyone  left  saturday    sunday  and  monday       she  still   cries   alot   her  and  my  mom  talk  everyday      this  is  going  to  be  very  hard  on  her  they  were  married  for  42  yrs      me  and  mom  are  there  for  her   but  right  now  shes  very  busy    she  has  to  call  the  car  insuarnce      to  get  his  name  off       everyone   is  asking  her  for  a  death    certificate     now  that  she  has to  change  everything    my  mom   went  through  the  same  thing     when  my  dad   died   in  2001      

[mommy52]

Just wanted to know how you, your aunt and family are doing. Sometimes it is hard to talk about death just afterwards, I understand. Please know and be assured, I think I can speak for all. When you are ready, someone will be here. Do not keep feelings inside. I have been known to sit outside and talk to our dog and tell him just how unfair I thnk things can be at times. My dog listens, I think, and never tells me anything, she just looks at me and listens.Hope this doesn't sound abnormal. What is normal though? Let know how you are.

[mommy52]

That was a great idea with the releasing of the balloons. By releasing the balloons, you are also allowing your uncle to be free also. Free from the pain you described he experienced. Don't know how far you live from your aunt, but I can tell you will be there emotionally for your aunt along with your mother.Check your area for grief support groups. Hospice should be able to tell about some and in many instances they sponsor some. Your uncle may be gone from sight, but you have his memories to cherish your lifetime. Do not think only of the last months, but remember the happy times. This will help you all realize he IS without pain now. Keep posted. Will continue to keep you and your family in prayer. Madlyn

[edith929]

we  were  gone  most  of  the  day  yesterday     the  funeral  was  at  11     there  were  quit  a  few  of  their    friends    that  they  met  that  we  introduced  them  too    after  the  funeral  we  all  went  out  for  lunch     my  aunt  payed  for  everyones  lunch    their  were  about  thirty    there      after  the  lunch  our  family  went    to  there  property    and  let  go  about  thirty   balloons   we  all  wrote  a  message  to  him    and  then  later  we  went  to  my  sisters  house     my  cousin  best   friend    was  with  us  all  day       i  dont  know  what    is  going  to  happen  to  my  aunt   after  everyone  is  gone     me  and  my  mom  will  be  there  for  her      

[mommy52]

Sorry for your loss and pray for strength for you and your family during the times ahead. When you are ready, feel free to talk about your Dad. Holidays are a difficult time for all who are grieving or who have lost someone. When we reach out to comfort another, we are receiving comfort for ourselves also. By reaching out we are offereing a piece of our hearts as others have done to us. Love ya. Keep us posted on how you are doing. Madlyn

[edith929]

sorry  about    not  getting  back    to  earlier    girls      its  been  a  busy  week    we  had  a  lot  of  company     our  house  is  full  of  relatives     for  the  funeral    which  is  today      we  really  miss  him  so  much     last  night  was  the  viewing   they  had  a  slide  show  of  his  life       my  aunt  is  being  very  brave       but  i  know  she  will  let  it  out  after  everyone  is  gone        but  me  and  my  mom  will  be  there  for  her    

[DixiesAngel]

I'm very sorry for your loss.  I lost my uncle to liver cancer on my 18th birthday.  He was diagnosed in September of  01 and by Dec '01 he was gone.  So if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free.  

[jml1986]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I myself am getting ready to go through another one. My uncle has slowly been getting worse and they had to take him back into icu today. For me this will be number 15 of my aunts and uncles. My parents each had 12 siblings so death is a constant in my life. Sadly, each one gets harder and harder.

[edith929]

i  wanted  to  thank  everyone  who  responded     to  me    he  had  a  very  peaceful  night      my  aunt  and  two  of  there  kids  were  holding  hands    with  him  all  night      we  just  found  out  at  10.30    this  morning  that  he  died  he  fought  a  hard  battle   he  lasted  until  the  end     ill  keep  in  touch  sorry  i  couildnt  get  to  you  earlier     but  they  lost  my  password     and  everthing  when  they  shut  down  last  night              

[edith929]

here  is  an  upda te he  is  is  pretty  much  in  a  comma      yhey  are  going  to  keep  him  in  the  hospital     because  every  time  they  move  him  hes  in  pain      his  wife  and  two     of  there kids are  always  there      hospice  will  only  let  them  in  there       so  me  and  my  mom  cant  see  him  neither  can  my  sisters          hes  not  breathing  very  well     and  his  kidneys  are  shutting  down       im  afraid    it  wont  take  long       since  we  own  a  retitrment  home       we  cant  leave  and  go  there  whrn  it  happens  so  we  got  somebody  that  will  stay  the  weekend        if  they  have  to  my  mom  wants  to  be  there  for  her  sister        weve  had  this  facility    for  20  yrs      and  we  lost  quit  a  lot  residents       in  the  yrs  weve  been  open       when  all  this  is  over  can  i  talk  about  my  dad  christmas   is  really  hard     for  us        he  got  sick  on  christmas  eve  and  died  five  days  later     in  2001                  

[jml1986]

I think that you need to explain to him that your dad went to heaven and that is where your uncle is going. Just keep it simple because he won't undestand much, but you need to be honest. Children should only be told things in the level that they can understand and never anything more, as they get older you will be able to add more details.