Should I feel guilty?

[mom2jared]

I haven't visited my mom's grave since last September and I almost had the chance this week when I went up to New York for her unveiling of her footstone, but my Dad took ill and everything got cancelled. It was decided by the family that if one of us couldn't go, there was no point in going. I had no say in the matter and I had no way of even getting to the cemetary which was two hours away. Fortunately, some local relatives did the unveiling service for us and even took pictures of the footstone, but I still feel guilty that I wasn't there. My Dad kept telling me to go without him, but I knew in my heart it wasn't the right thing to do because my mother would have wanted me to take care of him.

Everyone keeps telling me that it's just a plot of land and mom wouldn't know if I was there or not, but I still feel guilty.

Please tell me I did the right thing!

[strezzed]

You absolutely did the right thing. Don't feel guilty. You did what was best for dad. That's what your mom would have wanted.

[mammo]

You definitely did the right thing.  Your dad needed you, and you did what your mom would have wanted you to do.  I personally feel that gravesites are for the living, a way for us to feel closer....whatever.  Your mom isn't there, but she does live on in you and you can talk to her anytime.  Don't beat yourself up over this....you did the right thing. This is what I would have wanted my daughter to do and we moms tend to think alike.  Take care of yourself and best wishes to you and your dad.