Aa
ARS or anxiety
Dear Doctor:
I am a 40 years old, married man, with 2 children, and I am wondering how I could be so stupid to put in risk my health and the ones I love.
I am a heterosexual male, and on February 14, while in a business trip, I engaged in sexual activity with an unknown status male, penetrating him using a preservative, he did not penetrate me but he *** over my stomach. I lived in worry 90 days, not sleeping at night and even losing my hair, until I came with a NEGATIVE Elisa Test exactly at the 90 days mark (13 weeks).
On October 17, while in a business trip too, I gave oral sex to an unknown status male, for about 30 seconds, he did not ejaculate in my mouth, and I was not aware of pre-*** coming out of his penis. Then he penetrated me using a
I am a 40 years old, married man, with 2 children, and I am wondering how I could be so stupid to put in risk my health and the ones I love.
I am a heterosexual male, and on February 14, while in a business trip, I engaged in sexual activity with an unknown status male, penetrating him using a preservative, he did not penetrate me but he *** over my stomach. I lived in worry 90 days, not sleeping at night and even losing my hair, until I came with a NEGATIVE Elisa Test exactly at the 90 days mark (13 weeks).
On October 17, while in a business trip too, I gave oral sex to an unknown status male, for about 30 seconds, he did not ejaculate in my mouth, and I was not aware of pre-*** coming out of his penis. Then he penetrated me using a
Hi folks for your positive posts and good vibrations!!
I wish you all good health.
Gene.
I wish you all good health.
Gene.
That was some great sound advice!! I too cheated on my wife like a dummy and vowed NEVER to do it again. Since my last incident I have just traveled from work to home. And if I go anywhere else I'm begging her to come. This HIV anxiety has really woke me up to a beauitful and faithful spouse I have at home. As for me cheating is for the birds.
I really dig your advice...
I really dig your advice...
Dear Gene, boy can I ever relate!
I am no expert and am living a similar situation as yours. I to strayed from my marriage and had protected penetrative sex but unprotected oral sex with women of unknown HIV status. I have done extensive research on the subject and ALL experts agree that sex with a condom is PROTECTED SEX and you do not have to worry about it. As for unprotected oral sex, given the brievty of the episode, and the fact that ejaculation did not take place, I am quite certain that you'll be just fine.
I am an educated man, rational I thought, until I started freaking out over oral sex. Eventhough I have been told that experts were unaware of HIV being transmitted by someone performing oral sex on a woman, EVER, I still thought I might be the firts unlucky ******* to be infected this way.
As for you seeing ad campaigns for AIDS, try to remember that December 1 was AIDS day. Also, and I say this because I have been through the same stuff (and still am, a bit), if you were worried you had breast cancer, don't you think you'd notice all the pink ribbons being displayed everywhere even more?
The mind is a powerful thing that can play tricks on you. Just read today about cyberchondria! It is like symptom shopping on the internet! And it's a real disease! You won't be surprised when I tell you that that HIV is probably the most popular of the diseases in which cyberchondria comes in to play...
Also, try to remeber that you're anxiety probably has more to do with the guilt brought on by the situation tahn by the actual chances of being infected from given a 30 second BJ to someone YOU DON'T KNOW FOR A FACT TO BE INFECTED.
Based on all of this, it would be sad to risk ruining your family life if that's not what you want. Trust me, you are not alone in tis situation. Most people don't hang around forums like this one after having very low risk exposures. Just those of us who have OCD, are worried wells or have cheated on our wives. It's funny, I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world. I was to stupid to realise that and cheated on her. And now, post facto, I realize it and I'm kicking myself...
I trust you will be fine. Just make sure you use condoms for penetrative sex ALWAYS on your escapades. Also, keep in mind taht other STDs are much more easily transmitted. Might be a good idea to test for those although, once again, from your exposure, I'm sure you're fine.
Take good care and stay sane. You'll be alright.
I am no expert and am living a similar situation as yours. I to strayed from my marriage and had protected penetrative sex but unprotected oral sex with women of unknown HIV status. I have done extensive research on the subject and ALL experts agree that sex with a condom is PROTECTED SEX and you do not have to worry about it. As for unprotected oral sex, given the brievty of the episode, and the fact that ejaculation did not take place, I am quite certain that you'll be just fine.
I am an educated man, rational I thought, until I started freaking out over oral sex. Eventhough I have been told that experts were unaware of HIV being transmitted by someone performing oral sex on a woman, EVER, I still thought I might be the firts unlucky ******* to be infected this way.
As for you seeing ad campaigns for AIDS, try to remember that December 1 was AIDS day. Also, and I say this because I have been through the same stuff (and still am, a bit), if you were worried you had breast cancer, don't you think you'd notice all the pink ribbons being displayed everywhere even more?
The mind is a powerful thing that can play tricks on you. Just read today about cyberchondria! It is like symptom shopping on the internet! And it's a real disease! You won't be surprised when I tell you that that HIV is probably the most popular of the diseases in which cyberchondria comes in to play...
Also, try to remeber that you're anxiety probably has more to do with the guilt brought on by the situation tahn by the actual chances of being infected from given a 30 second BJ to someone YOU DON'T KNOW FOR A FACT TO BE INFECTED.
Based on all of this, it would be sad to risk ruining your family life if that's not what you want. Trust me, you are not alone in tis situation. Most people don't hang around forums like this one after having very low risk exposures. Just those of us who have OCD, are worried wells or have cheated on our wives. It's funny, I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world. I was to stupid to realise that and cheated on her. And now, post facto, I realize it and I'm kicking myself...
I trust you will be fine. Just make sure you use condoms for penetrative sex ALWAYS on your escapades. Also, keep in mind taht other STDs are much more easily transmitted. Might be a good idea to test for those although, once again, from your exposure, I'm sure you're fine.
Take good care and stay sane. You'll be alright.
Glad you share my views! You know what they say, if you can't do the time, don't do the crime! I am just sad it took this for me to realize what a great woman I share my life with. I am waiting for my test results past the 13 week mark in the coming days. I must admit I have the jitters although it's starting to sink in and I realize, like the good doctor said, that I am hundreds of times more likely to get hit by lightning than getting infected through cunnilingus. Think about! That, in itself, is reassuring!
Good luck putting this behind you and staying on the right path!
Good luck putting this behind you and staying on the right path!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
A negative HIV test at least 6 weeks after the last possible exposure is 99% reliable evidence against HIV infection. You can be virtually certain the 3 month test also will be negative; with the modern HIV tests, I have never heard of anybody showing positive at 3 months if negative at 4-6 weeks. Therefore, omething other than HIV is causing yoru symptoms. Stress/anxiety seems the best bet.
I don't give relationship counseling, but I strongly suggest you not discuss this with your wife until you a) have the 3 month HIV test result; and b) if still uncertain or can't shake your fears, until you have been evaluated with a counselor or other mental health professional.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
I don't give relationship counseling, but I strongly suggest you not discuss this with your wife until you a) have the 3 month HIV test result; and b) if still uncertain or can't shake your fears, until you have been evaluated with a counselor or other mental health professional.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
You are reading content posted in the HIV - Prevention Forum
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