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Am I at risk
Dear doctor,
My boyfriend and I have been in a monogamous relationship for 3 years. We recently both had affairs. His was 3 months ago and mine 1 month ago. We both had protected sex with another person. However, he recently found out he had herpes. Since the affairs we have had unprotected sex with each other. I have no symptoms of herpes but assume I have it as well. We are both extremely worried about hiv?? Almost to the point we are assuming we have it. Are we at risk? During my affair, I performed oral sex – could that be where the herpes came from? If so could I have got hiv from that and then passed it on to my boyfriend? We did get tested and are waiting for the results……this is taken over our lives and we unable to even sleep at night? Is it anxiety or do you think we may have put our lives at risk? Furtermore, the clinic stated I would have to pick up my results. If do not go will they call me to come in if I am positive?? I just don't understand this herpes thing.....how could we get that with protected sex and not be at risk for HIV???? THANKS FOR YOUR HELP
My boyfriend and I have been in a monogamous relationship for 3 years. We recently both had affairs. His was 3 months ago and mine 1 month ago. We both had protected sex with another person. However, he recently found out he had herpes. Since the affairs we have had unprotected sex with each other. I have no symptoms of herpes but assume I have it as well. We are both extremely worried about hiv?? Almost to the point we are assuming we have it. Are we at risk? During my affair, I performed oral sex – could that be where the herpes came from? If so could I have got hiv from that and then passed it on to my boyfriend? We did get tested and are waiting for the results……this is taken over our lives and we unable to even sleep at night? Is it anxiety or do you think we may have put our lives at risk? Furtermore, the clinic stated I would have to pick up my results. If do not go will they call me to come in if I am positive?? I just don't understand this herpes thing.....how could we get that with protected sex and not be at risk for HIV???? THANKS FOR YOUR HELP
You were right as far as the HIV goes! It did come back negative however the test was taken 3 weeks after possible exposure. Shall I retake in a few months? Also as far herpes go unfortunately that was positvie....I am now dealing with that. I am still havin a hard time understanding how it was transmitted since ...but I guess you can't rewrite what happened. Either way please let me know about retaking the hiv test??
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the HIV forum.
You are overreacting quite a bit. Heterosexual HIV transmission is less common than you seem to think and it would be very unusual for anybody with your and your partner's sexual histories to catch HIV. If both your and your boyfriend's other partners were not injection drug users, and if your male partners were not gay/bi men, it is very unlikely they had HIV. And even if they had it, the condoms were 100% protective, for all practical purposes.
It is true that having herpes increases the risk of HIV infection if exposed, but it is still the rare exposure that results in HIV even in the presence of herpes. IF one of your partners had HIV, and IF no condom had been used, then the chance you would have caught it was around 1 in 1,000. With genital HSV-2 infection, that would go up to only 1 in 500.
As for herpes, why do you assume you caught it? In the absence of symptoms, it is unlikely you did. It is much more transmissible than HIV, but still not all that frequent. Among married couples in whom one has genital herpes and the other does not, and who do not use condoms or take any other precations, up to half the spouses remain free of herpes for many years. And even if you were exposed to herpes, it doesn't necearily mean you were also exposed to HIV. Probably not.
Bottom line: It is very unlikely you caught either HIV or herpes. Please try to relax as you await the test results; I expect both your and your partner's tests to be negative. Feel free to return to this thread with a comment to tell me the result of the HIV test. But I won't have any further comments until then.
Regards-- HHH, MD
You are overreacting quite a bit. Heterosexual HIV transmission is less common than you seem to think and it would be very unusual for anybody with your and your partner's sexual histories to catch HIV. If both your and your boyfriend's other partners were not injection drug users, and if your male partners were not gay/bi men, it is very unlikely they had HIV. And even if they had it, the condoms were 100% protective, for all practical purposes.
It is true that having herpes increases the risk of HIV infection if exposed, but it is still the rare exposure that results in HIV even in the presence of herpes. IF one of your partners had HIV, and IF no condom had been used, then the chance you would have caught it was around 1 in 1,000. With genital HSV-2 infection, that would go up to only 1 in 500.
As for herpes, why do you assume you caught it? In the absence of symptoms, it is unlikely you did. It is much more transmissible than HIV, but still not all that frequent. Among married couples in whom one has genital herpes and the other does not, and who do not use condoms or take any other precations, up to half the spouses remain free of herpes for many years. And even if you were exposed to herpes, it doesn't necearily mean you were also exposed to HIV. Probably not.
Bottom line: It is very unlikely you caught either HIV or herpes. Please try to relax as you await the test results; I expect both your and your partner's tests to be negative. Feel free to return to this thread with a comment to tell me the result of the HIV test. But I won't have any further comments until then.
Regards-- HHH, MD
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