Aa
HIV concern from 14 months ago
Hi Dr Handsfield,
14 months ago (I was just turned 19 at the time) I had sex with a white (non-drug using) girl who was 16 years old (16 is the age of consent in Canada) FOUR different occasions. Lots of oral sex (me receiving) and unprotected intercourse which on each occasion wasn't too long but not too short either. I'm almost 100% I had no cuts and 100% did not have any sores or any STDs (this was my FIRST ever time having unprotected sex) or signs of any STDs. I am circumsized.
She had turned 16 a couple months earlier I believe, and said I was her 5th partner. However, once I told her I don't perform well with a condom, she said "well I'm fine without a condom." Anyway, this statement now worries me cause I assume she could have had 15+ partners all without protection (though she did saw she had a BF for quite a while...). Some investigating and I saw she hasn't been overly promiscious since me.
1) What are the odds of a girl who's turned 16 a couple months early having HIV? Something that concerned me was her saying she's at risk of cervical cancer and she's at the doctors sometimes. (even though this has nothing really to do with HIV. We live in suburban Ontario in Canada where HIV rates are pretty low but I still see "females aged 15-19" show up in HIV stats... and saying they acquired it heterosexually. Does it make any difference if she was extremely clean (no hint of any STDs which are more common to get).
2) What's the overall risk assessment? For 4 exposures. Plus tons of "fooling around."
3) I'm well aware on HIV statistics, however the TWO things that worry me are criminal transmission and transmission in pornography. I've seen quite a few articles where you see something like 'man with HIV infects 4 of 7 partners" or how "3 of 7 partners of male porn star get HIV." How do such things occur if it's so difficult to get?
P.S I REALLY don't want to get tested! Thanks!
14 months ago (I was just turned 19 at the time) I had sex with a white (non-drug using) girl who was 16 years old (16 is the age of consent in Canada) FOUR different occasions. Lots of oral sex (me receiving) and unprotected intercourse which on each occasion wasn't too long but not too short either. I'm almost 100% I had no cuts and 100% did not have any sores or any STDs (this was my FIRST ever time having unprotected sex) or signs of any STDs. I am circumsized.
She had turned 16 a couple months earlier I believe, and said I was her 5th partner. However, once I told her I don't perform well with a condom, she said "well I'm fine without a condom." Anyway, this statement now worries me cause I assume she could have had 15+ partners all without protection (though she did saw she had a BF for quite a while...). Some investigating and I saw she hasn't been overly promiscious since me.
1) What are the odds of a girl who's turned 16 a couple months early having HIV? Something that concerned me was her saying she's at risk of cervical cancer and she's at the doctors sometimes. (even though this has nothing really to do with HIV. We live in suburban Ontario in Canada where HIV rates are pretty low but I still see "females aged 15-19" show up in HIV stats... and saying they acquired it heterosexually. Does it make any difference if she was extremely clean (no hint of any STDs which are more common to get).
2) What's the overall risk assessment? For 4 exposures. Plus tons of "fooling around."
3) I'm well aware on HIV statistics, however the TWO things that worry me are criminal transmission and transmission in pornography. I've seen quite a few articles where you see something like 'man with HIV infects 4 of 7 partners" or how "3 of 7 partners of male porn star get HIV." How do such things occur if it's so difficult to get?
P.S I REALLY don't want to get tested! Thanks!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Congratulations on the HIV test result -- but sorry to hear it hasn't resolved your concerns.
"is testing necessary still for the 3 STDs?" "Necessary" is relative -- but I would say it's a good idea. Most 18 yo women with several lifetime sex partners are relatively high STD risk and should have routine testing at least once a year for gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis and HIV, and between partner changes. It would make sense if your partner has not been tested since whenever she had sex with anyone else. Why not have a frank but sensitive discussion about it and go to your public STD clinic, or perhaps a Planned Parenthood clinic, and get tested simultaneously? (You don't need another HIV test, of course.)
Beyond that, you're raising emotional/mental health issues that really aren't pertinent to this forum. Only you can decide whether these concerns are sufficiently affecting your life to warrant professonal counseling -- but your fear of impact on your planned medical career suggest they are. I don't buy for a minute that I am "the only person [you] can really ask about something like this". Your primary care doctor or student health clinic would be a good place to start and would be able to recommend resources available to you.
That will have to end this thread. Good luck with it all -- and best wishes in your future medical career. You're obviously an intelligent and sensitive guy, which bode well for its success.
"is testing necessary still for the 3 STDs?" "Necessary" is relative -- but I would say it's a good idea. Most 18 yo women with several lifetime sex partners are relatively high STD risk and should have routine testing at least once a year for gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis and HIV, and between partner changes. It would make sense if your partner has not been tested since whenever she had sex with anyone else. Why not have a frank but sensitive discussion about it and go to your public STD clinic, or perhaps a Planned Parenthood clinic, and get tested simultaneously? (You don't need another HIV test, of course.)
Beyond that, you're raising emotional/mental health issues that really aren't pertinent to this forum. Only you can decide whether these concerns are sufficiently affecting your life to warrant professonal counseling -- but your fear of impact on your planned medical career suggest they are. I don't buy for a minute that I am "the only person [you] can really ask about something like this". Your primary care doctor or student health clinic would be a good place to start and would be able to recommend resources available to you.
That will have to end this thread. Good luck with it all -- and best wishes in your future medical career. You're obviously an intelligent and sensitive guy, which bode well for its success.
Hi, got the rapid anonymous test done.. negative.
I guess I have partial relief but not complete relief for the following reason. So I've been in a relationship for 1 year and we started having sex 9 months ago (2-3 times a week.. unprotected, normally sessions of 1-2 hours). She's never had unprotected sex before and has had 5 partners, she's 18. I do believe she got tested over a year ago though.
So my issue is, whether or not she tests or I test, I continue to have random anxiety. Basically I move to the next step and think "oh what if she cheats" and stuff like that.
Do you know any tricks to help forget about this nonsense? So many people have unprotected sex and the majority have no issues ever. Or do you think it's just a phase and it'll pass? I'm a successful pre-medical student and I'm wondering if I'm going to be able to cope with the risk of occupational exposure and what not. So I guess you're the only person I can really ask about something like this.
Also if I've never had any symptoms except those bumps that I haven't had for a while now, is testing necessary still for the 3 STDs you named?
Thanks
I guess I have partial relief but not complete relief for the following reason. So I've been in a relationship for 1 year and we started having sex 9 months ago (2-3 times a week.. unprotected, normally sessions of 1-2 hours). She's never had unprotected sex before and has had 5 partners, she's 18. I do believe she got tested over a year ago though.
So my issue is, whether or not she tests or I test, I continue to have random anxiety. Basically I move to the next step and think "oh what if she cheats" and stuff like that.
Do you know any tricks to help forget about this nonsense? So many people have unprotected sex and the majority have no issues ever. Or do you think it's just a phase and it'll pass? I'm a successful pre-medical student and I'm wondering if I'm going to be able to cope with the risk of occupational exposure and what not. So I guess you're the only person I can really ask about something like this.
Also if I've never had any symptoms except those bumps that I haven't had for a while now, is testing necessary still for the 3 STDs you named?
Thanks
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I doubt you had anything important. Pubic area bumps that recur from time to time usually are pimples, folliculitis, ingrown hairs, etc.
If and when they recur yet again, swallow your embarrassment and just get examined. A forum like this is not intended as a substitute for direct medical care. And you can trust me on this: your doc has seen it all before! Or you can always visit your local health department STD clinic or a Planned Parenthood clinic for expert, confidential care.
That's definitely the last comment until you report your HIV test result.
If and when they recur yet again, swallow your embarrassment and just get examined. A forum like this is not intended as a substitute for direct medical care. And you can trust me on this: your doc has seen it all before! Or you can always visit your local health department STD clinic or a Planned Parenthood clinic for expert, confidential care.
That's definitely the last comment until you report your HIV test result.
Okay thanks for your advice. On a separate issue if you don't mind me asking (not sure what this could validate testing for?) but I was too embarrassed to ask my family doctor before. 3 separate occasions I had like 3-4 small bumps appear in my public hair area. They went away in a couple weeks or so slowly. No pain, definitely not sores, and they were pinkish in color. I've never had anything on my penis however, this was strictly my pubic hair area. Could this be genital warts or herpes? Or is it something like ingrown hair or something...appreciate the input as I'd be too embarrassed to ask a doctor in person.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
You posted this before I replied above -- but this is definitely my last comment unless/until you report your test result(s).
Coated tongue is experienced by everybody from time to time, almost always due to minor viral infections, changes in nutrition or oral hygiene, etc. It isn't a sign of HIV, and it isn't the same as thrush (yeast infection). Acute HIV infection doesn't cause typical "cold/allergy" symptoms (nasal congestion, cough, etc).
Coated tongue is experienced by everybody from time to time, almost always due to minor viral infections, changes in nutrition or oral hygiene, etc. It isn't a sign of HIV, and it isn't the same as thrush (yeast infection). Acute HIV infection doesn't cause typical "cold/allergy" symptoms (nasal congestion, cough, etc).
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the forum.
Reacting first to your closing comment: An HIV test is exactly what you need. The large majority of persons nervous enough to come to a forum like this are not going to be completely reassured by probabilities and statistics, no matter how expert, accurate, and scientifically based. And obviously it make sense for anyone who has been sexually active outside a mutually monogamous reltionshis.
Before you tell me you're fearful of a positive result, don't even go there; I have no patience with such silliness. It isn't the test that gives someone HIV, and if you are infected, you have to know. Both clinical experience and research show that anxiety declines after testing, even with positive: the fear causes more anxiety than even a positive result. So stop screwing around and just do it.
To your specific questions:
"What are the odds of a girl who's turned 16 a couple months early having HIV?" In Canada and elsewhere in North America, almost zero -- probably no higher than 1 chance in 10,000.
"Overall risk assessment": It is extremely unlikely you have HIV. For the 4 exposures with the 16 year old, I would guess less than 1 chance in a million. That said, I don't know the details of "fooling around", which of course could change my opinion.
The reasons are very complex that overall risk for HIV can be as low as 1 transmission for every several thousand exposures in most circumstances, but as high as 1 chance in 100 or higher in others. It has to do with early versus late HIV, other STDs, anatomic sites exposed, circumcision status, and a number of other factors.
To summarize, the chance you have HIV is extremely low, but you're obviously going to worry about it until you have had a negative test, so just do it. While you're at it, have a urine test for gonorrhea and chlamydia (for which you ARE at very high risk, considering a 16 year old partner) and a blood test for syphilis. Feel free to report the results once you have been tested -- but since speculation is pointless when a clear answer is so easily available, I won't have any more comments or advice until then.
Best regards-- HHH, MD
Reacting first to your closing comment: An HIV test is exactly what you need. The large majority of persons nervous enough to come to a forum like this are not going to be completely reassured by probabilities and statistics, no matter how expert, accurate, and scientifically based. And obviously it make sense for anyone who has been sexually active outside a mutually monogamous reltionshis.
Before you tell me you're fearful of a positive result, don't even go there; I have no patience with such silliness. It isn't the test that gives someone HIV, and if you are infected, you have to know. Both clinical experience and research show that anxiety declines after testing, even with positive: the fear causes more anxiety than even a positive result. So stop screwing around and just do it.
To your specific questions:
"What are the odds of a girl who's turned 16 a couple months early having HIV?" In Canada and elsewhere in North America, almost zero -- probably no higher than 1 chance in 10,000.
"Overall risk assessment": It is extremely unlikely you have HIV. For the 4 exposures with the 16 year old, I would guess less than 1 chance in a million. That said, I don't know the details of "fooling around", which of course could change my opinion.
The reasons are very complex that overall risk for HIV can be as low as 1 transmission for every several thousand exposures in most circumstances, but as high as 1 chance in 100 or higher in others. It has to do with early versus late HIV, other STDs, anatomic sites exposed, circumcision status, and a number of other factors.
To summarize, the chance you have HIV is extremely low, but you're obviously going to worry about it until you have had a negative test, so just do it. While you're at it, have a urine test for gonorrhea and chlamydia (for which you ARE at very high risk, considering a 16 year old partner) and a blood test for syphilis. Feel free to report the results once you have been tested -- but since speculation is pointless when a clear answer is so easily available, I won't have any more comments or advice until then.
Best regards-- HHH, MD
Also what really got me worried was my tongue being a bit white.. it decreases a lot in whiteness when I brush it (except a some white coating in the back stays. But I don't feel anything uncomfortable or any other symptoms ... is this oral thrush?
And 5-6 weeks after the incident 14 months ago, I got some symptoms which resembled a cold/allergies. Could this have been ARS?
Greatly appreciate your help!
And 5-6 weeks after the incident 14 months ago, I got some symptoms which resembled a cold/allergies. Could this have been ARS?
Greatly appreciate your help!
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