If she donates blood, she tested negative for HIV. And your negative test further proves you don't have HIV. Zero chance you have HIV. Move on and get the professional help you need. That's all for this thread.
She never had a test...I tested not her and she only doantes blood..she had a new partner that was with a woman outside of this country. so, in retrospect, possibility vs probability is what?
You had a very similar question which Dr. Hook answered 6 months ago. His reply said in part "Your post overflows with guilt and anxiety.... There is no need for further worry,. There may however be a need, as your friends have already suggested, for you to seek professional help to deal with your anxiety and guilt."
Those statements are my conclusion as well. You describe a very low risk situation with respect to HIV. Any logical analysis indicates that there is no realistic chance your partner caught HIV between the time of her negative HIV test and your conrtact with her afterward. You provide additional, overwhelming evidence and self-awareness that your problem is purely psychological, with phrases like "This is ruining my life", "...i am soo depressed", "I hate myself for this" etc.
Of course feel free to have another HIV test if you think it will help you. But clearly you need more than that. I will be happy to take another follow-up comment on this thread if and when you report back on the professional mental health care you have started to get. Otherwise, I will delete any further comments on this thread. As Dr. Hook also said, the advice for professional counseling is made from compassion, not criticism.
Good luck-- HHH, MD