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Vaginal risk--anxiety is High
I had met a woman last monday and we did some heavy flirting--After an exchange of text messages and a few meetings where we kissed---we finally slept together Saturday. We started with a condom and then we had maybe 5 minutes or less of unprotected sex. She brought out condoms and I like an idiot insisted on not using them---the second time around. She is the first black woman I slept with...she is a art gallery manager and is involved with a lot of partys here in Miamis South Beach. I have read on here women in the us are unlikely to be HIV poz yet they say women especially black women are high risk---shes pretty sexually liberal---shes educated and has done some cocaine--but not a regular user. I asked about testing and she said she had been and would feel guilty now that we did not use protection. I asked her if she was being honest and she said yes...she was engaged to a man from St Thomas in the virgin islands--I think she is from trinidad but born here...what are my chances? I feel an impending doom looming over me. She does not seem to be obsessing about me being sick as I am with her being poz...why is that? shouldnt she be worried....My aunt is 42 with kids never used drugs and got it from her drug free husband..she was not the norm for an HIV poz person...I just got tested in Oct...do I have to do it again?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the forum. I'll try to help.
You describe a partner who might be at somewhat higher than average risk for HIV among heterosexual women. Being African American of course is not a specific risk, i.e. blacks are not materially more susceptible to HIV. However, from a statistical perspective it is a significant consideration, since HIV rates are substantially higher in African Americans than in whites (in the US). And your partner's sexual exposure to men from the Caribbean might elevate her risk. Finally, as you have seen in your own family, in AA populations, some people at seemingly low risk can get HIV, due to their partners' risks.
That said, the chance any particular African American woman has HIV is probably under 1%, and that includes women with the sort of sexual history your partner has. And when a woman is infected, the average risk of female to male transmission is about once for every 2,000 episodes of unprotected vaginal sex. So the odds are very strongly in your favor.
So, do you "have to be tested" again? No, not from a risk assessment perspective. However, you are anxious enough to have come to this forum to ask the question. Most people in that circumstance should be tested for peace of mind. It seems pretty obvious you are worried about it, and most likely you will continue to worry about it unitl you know for sure you weren't infected. So I suggest waiting until 6-8 weeks after the event and then have an HIV test. You can expect negative results. (And by the way, this does not mean I really believe you are at high risk. I do not.)
The final word is that you need to get into the condom habit for new or non-monogamous sex partners. Even if the risk is low, why not be that much safer?
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
You describe a partner who might be at somewhat higher than average risk for HIV among heterosexual women. Being African American of course is not a specific risk, i.e. blacks are not materially more susceptible to HIV. However, from a statistical perspective it is a significant consideration, since HIV rates are substantially higher in African Americans than in whites (in the US). And your partner's sexual exposure to men from the Caribbean might elevate her risk. Finally, as you have seen in your own family, in AA populations, some people at seemingly low risk can get HIV, due to their partners' risks.
That said, the chance any particular African American woman has HIV is probably under 1%, and that includes women with the sort of sexual history your partner has. And when a woman is infected, the average risk of female to male transmission is about once for every 2,000 episodes of unprotected vaginal sex. So the odds are very strongly in your favor.
So, do you "have to be tested" again? No, not from a risk assessment perspective. However, you are anxious enough to have come to this forum to ask the question. Most people in that circumstance should be tested for peace of mind. It seems pretty obvious you are worried about it, and most likely you will continue to worry about it unitl you know for sure you weren't infected. So I suggest waiting until 6-8 weeks after the event and then have an HIV test. You can expect negative results. (And by the way, this does not mean I really believe you are at high risk. I do not.)
The final word is that you need to get into the condom habit for new or non-monogamous sex partners. Even if the risk is low, why not be that much safer?
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Of course someone can catch HIV from a one time exposure. You could also be killed by your first lightning strike. The odds probably are similar.
That's all for this thread. I won't have any further comments.
That's all for this thread. I won't have any further comments.
I am really nervous and feel like I am being chased by some kind of invisible enemy. I cant believe I exposed myself again to this possibility. I do not want to be infected. She is from trinidad-her ex fiance is from st thomas--he is half white half black and jewish. I am scared ------ I read online I could be infected from a one time exposure....
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I understood all that from your original message. I doubt she is infected, and "rruined my life sleeping with a black woman" is a gross overreaction. The vast majority of questions about HIV risk on this forum describe exposures that are truly or virtually zero risk. That yours is a tad more than that doesn't mean it is high, just a little less low than others. Have an HIV test for peace of mind, but mellow out in the meantime. You can expect it to be negative.
When I describe her---she is not your average low income african american. The man she dated was for 11 years and from a decent family---he went to a prestigous private school--he is from St Thomas..not Haiti or Jamaica. You tell me not to think I am at High risk but now I feel as if I am. She is liberal sexually, but was the one who had the condoms---and went and got them before we had sex...I was more irresonsible than she was---I am just scared now---I know you did not mean to scare me--but you did...She works for an art gallery and a marketing firm---very well spoken and not your typical black woman---Her cocaine use is that of any white or young person exposed to he night life---she does not shoot up===she has used cocaine and so have I---and probably half the people on here---Jesus---I feel like I ruined my life sleeping with a black woman.
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