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Very worried - how much risk for hiv?
Dear Doctor,
I separated from my long-term boyfriend (I am female), for a few months and had a mini nervous breakdown. Long story short, I hooked up with a white male living in Laguna Beach, CA who was at least 42 (much older than me) and not someone I normally would have had any involvement with. He is the loner type and fairly odd. I did not do anything that myself at risk with him APART from somehow when we were messing around and about to put a condom on him the head of his penis slipped in me for a second, two/ three seconds at most. His penis did not go all the way in me - probably a quarter of the way in or half the way in. It felt as if it was just starting to go in at which point I said to him 'what are you doing' and he said 'i thought you were getting the condom'. Then I pulled away from him and we did nothing else. I did not experience symptoms although roughly 8 weeks later I felt hot and run down, but took my temparature and it was fine. I did have spots on my lower legs - not a rash - more like seven small spots - like dermatitis. I have since reuinted with my boyfriend and have had unprotected sex with him several times. I honestly did not think anything of this incident until I had unprotected sex with him and then this came into my mind a week ago and I am completely anxious, distraught and panicked. If I hurt my boyfriend in anyway I don't know what I would do. I called the guy in Laguna Beach and asked him and he said he was clean and had no stds, and was tested three years ago. He said he would get tested to make me feel better but now I call him and his phone says unavailable. He says he has never slept with men but has had unprotected sex with women, but claims he has barely been with anyone the last three years. I don't trust him though. What are my chances of being infected with hiv or any other std? I do tend to worry about hiv anyway and I don't know whether I am worrying too much.Thank you.
I separated from my long-term boyfriend (I am female), for a few months and had a mini nervous breakdown. Long story short, I hooked up with a white male living in Laguna Beach, CA who was at least 42 (much older than me) and not someone I normally would have had any involvement with. He is the loner type and fairly odd. I did not do anything that myself at risk with him APART from somehow when we were messing around and about to put a condom on him the head of his penis slipped in me for a second, two/ three seconds at most. His penis did not go all the way in me - probably a quarter of the way in or half the way in. It felt as if it was just starting to go in at which point I said to him 'what are you doing' and he said 'i thought you were getting the condom'. Then I pulled away from him and we did nothing else. I did not experience symptoms although roughly 8 weeks later I felt hot and run down, but took my temparature and it was fine. I did have spots on my lower legs - not a rash - more like seven small spots - like dermatitis. I have since reuinted with my boyfriend and have had unprotected sex with him several times. I honestly did not think anything of this incident until I had unprotected sex with him and then this came into my mind a week ago and I am completely anxious, distraught and panicked. If I hurt my boyfriend in anyway I don't know what I would do. I called the guy in Laguna Beach and asked him and he said he was clean and had no stds, and was tested three years ago. He said he would get tested to make me feel better but now I call him and his phone says unavailable. He says he has never slept with men but has had unprotected sex with women, but claims he has barely been with anyone the last three years. I don't trust him though. What are my chances of being infected with hiv or any other std? I do tend to worry about hiv anyway and I don't know whether I am worrying too much.Thank you.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome back to the forum.
First, no matter how "odd" your partner might be, the chance a 40ish heterosexual male in So. California has HIV is very low. Granted he could be lying about sex with men or injection drug use, but probably not. Second, even if he were infected, the odds of catching HIV even with unprotected vaginal sex to completion averages about once for ever 1,000 exposures. With the brief penetration you had, it would be far lower than that.
So all things considered, I would put the chance you caught HIV from this exposure at zero for practical purposes -- certainly no higher than one in a million.
If that level of security resolves your fears, then no testing is needed. But my guess is you'll need a negative test result for reassurance. You don't say exactly when all this occurred, but I have the impression it's been at least a few weeks -- i.e. enough time for reliable testing. Feel free to let me know the result if and when you do it. While your'e at it, also have a urine or vaginal swab test for gonorrhea and chlamydia (the risks for which are also low, but much higher than HIV) and a syphilis blood test. I anticipate all results will be negative, but better safe than sorry!
I hope this has helped. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
First, no matter how "odd" your partner might be, the chance a 40ish heterosexual male in So. California has HIV is very low. Granted he could be lying about sex with men or injection drug use, but probably not. Second, even if he were infected, the odds of catching HIV even with unprotected vaginal sex to completion averages about once for ever 1,000 exposures. With the brief penetration you had, it would be far lower than that.
So all things considered, I would put the chance you caught HIV from this exposure at zero for practical purposes -- certainly no higher than one in a million.
If that level of security resolves your fears, then no testing is needed. But my guess is you'll need a negative test result for reassurance. You don't say exactly when all this occurred, but I have the impression it's been at least a few weeks -- i.e. enough time for reliable testing. Feel free to let me know the result if and when you do it. While your'e at it, also have a urine or vaginal swab test for gonorrhea and chlamydia (the risks for which are also low, but much higher than HIV) and a syphilis blood test. I anticipate all results will be negative, but better safe than sorry!
I hope this has helped. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Yeast infections (thrush) are not known to increase the risk of HIV. You definitely did not make "a huge mistake" by resuming sex with your boyfriend.
Let me know your HIV test result. I'm confident it will be negative, so stay relaxed in the meantime.
Let me know your HIV test result. I'm confident it will be negative, so stay relaxed in the meantime.
Thank you for your quick response. It has been about 10 weeks since all this occurred so I can test. One other question I did have, is I am prone to thrush. If I had thrush at the time this occurred, does it increase my chances of having caught hiv? I will definitely test for the other more common stds. So you don't think I made a huge mistake in terms of my current boyfriend by having unprotected sex with him? I have not put him at any real risk?
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