Sister Doesn't Want Me Near Niece and Nephew

[Michael]

After avoiding me for a year, my sister finally explained to me that she doesn't want me around her two kids for fear I might infect them.  This was absolutely devastating to me because I love my sister and my niece and nephew.  At this point I don't even know what to say to her.  If anyone has suggestions, I would really appreciate hearing from you.

Michael

[boyblue]

Micheal,

Sorry to hear of your sisters ignorance. As an HIV+ person (since April 5, 2000) it infuriates me to hear of family members treating you like this.  Try not to take it personal as I believe it's the fear of the unknown, and not against you personally.  In a world full of hate and ignorance if we can not get support and solice from our family members who can we get it from.  Don't know if you are newly diagnosed, but if so, it is so important to talk with others who are in the same boat and talk through any emotions you are feeling- do not keep any negative emotions bottled up inside as they will destroy your spirit and bog you down... also it is IMERATIVE that you stick with one provider that is knowledgeable in HIV and stick with them for as long as possible..I know you have no idea who the hell I am but again if you are newly diagnosed (or not) and you need to talk/ have questions please feel free to drop a line.. good luck to you and don't let your sisters ignorance get to you !!!!

[RockRose]

Michael,  God bless you.    That's all I can think of to say,  I can feel that you're a really caring brother/uncle,  and your post  is awful to read.

God bless you,  and I will pray for you.  You shouldn't have to carry this burden of hurt along with your burden of illness.

[PlateletGal]

Tell your sister that they are working on a cure for your illness, but fortunately there is a cure for HER illness. Ignorance can be cured by facts. Consider printing out information on HIV and how you contract it or have your physician write a letter to her. Perhaps tell her that you would be willing to respect her boundaries (hugging only, etc.), but also be sure to let her know how much she is hurting you and how her fears are irrational.

[Nickey1]

Hello, sorry to hear that your sister is being so ignorant to the fact.  My brother is living with HIV and I can't imagine not wanting him around my kids, actually I want to be around him more than ever now.  As the first comment, maybe your sister just needs to be educated on it, and you can tell her how you feel.  Discuss some of the good and fun times you two have shared and ask her to try and think of that person, and that you're STILL that person.  Again, I'm sorry to hear that because I know that it has to hurt.  Stay strong though, and hopefully she'll get past her fear......the first step is trying to have a heart to heart talk with her.

[jeffhaley]

That's a tough one, man. Is your sister educated about HIV and the ways it can and cannot be transmitted? If not, perhaps you could show her some literature on the subject and explain to her that HIV is not transmitted through casual contact such as hugging, shaking hands, etc. Perhaps if she better understands how truly difficult HIV is to transmit, her mind will be more at ease and she will be able to overcome these fears that she has.