10 years of mutually masturbating...

[72Kent]

Dear Dr. H,

I have gotten so much from reading this site. I truly believe in all your wise advice.

For the first time after reading your posts for years, I have a question I would like answered. Your wise advice would mean so much.

I consider myself a 30 year old gay man. Over the past 10 years, I have engaged in more than 100 (probably a lot more) mutual masturbation sessions and sometimes have been involved in three/foursomes where there is a lot of pre-*** and *** involved. In some instances, I am certain pre-*** of another person has been on my hands when I have had very minor cuts on my hands.  Most of these men I dont know well at all. We have stroked ourselves as well as mutually stroked each other. I have never let a man give me oral sex and I have been afraid to perform oral sex although (as you can imagine) I dream about it. Obviously, anal sex was never a consideration.

Ive been paranoid since I was an adolescent of getting HIV and work with a therapist because I recognize this is a problem. I have been put on Lexapro, but still have this tremendous fear.

Perhaps because I hold you in high regard, I need your wise answer regarding the level of risk I have encountered. Although I have NEVER done anything but mutual masturbation, I am worried because I don't know most of these men at all. Do I need testing? Because I have always been so scared of HIV, I dont want to put myself through unnecessary stress, but will if you advise me to do so. I am hoping your answer will give the insights I need to move on with my life.

Dr. H, I wont take up anymore of your time. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Undoubtedly, there is a special place for you in heaven someday. You truly are one in a million and I hope you recognize this within yourself.

[72Kent]

I hear you.  It freaks me out.  Isn't HIV hard to get?  Especially once it is exposed to air.  I worry about it getting into the tip of my penis....

[skerdstraght68]

no

[72Kent]

Thanks, everyone. Dr. H. You seemed very short in your response. I was hoping to have a longer response which would give me the confidence I needed. Thank you anyway though.

[skerdstraght68]

no risk

[dumbinvegas]

Dude just go get tested!  Your negative test results will cure your anxiety!

[sparkeler]

Honestly, mutual masturbation is EXTREMELY safe.  You don't have anything to worry about.  I admire the fact that you are doing something pro active about your irrational fears and obsessions.  You can also try meditation and exercise to help with the anxiety level.  Keep it up.  My guess is you will die an old, old man.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

You are taking no risk of HIV infection.  If you had an overt, large, fresh cut on your hand, there might be some small risk, but no such transmission has ever been documented, to my knowledge.  I see no need for HIV testing.

Good luck--- HHH, MD