sex with condom

[Iron2121]

Hello

I was in a trip and it happened that I cheated on my wife. I kissed the girl and had sex with her with a condom. Besides the kissing a touched her anus a bit with my fingers but did not penetrate, only on the edges.... My finger had some small broozes next to the nail, is this a risk?

Anyway, I would like to know if it is safe to contininue having sex with my wife without preservative, since we are trying to have a baby....

I would like to know what is the safest way to resume with my relationship with my wife.

The girl was young 23 years old and apparently does periodic tests and is no prostitute, a simple girl who works and goes to school.

Please let me know as well when should I test if so?

Thanks!

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to the Forum. I'll be pleased to address your concerns.  The fact is, your partner was almost certainly a commercial sex worker.  Thus it is important that you took steps to avoid infection with HIV and with other STIs.  You did that. Condoms are the single best way to prevent acquisition of HIV or other STIs when one is having sex with a new partner.  You did that and in doing so, transformed the already low risk for infection from any single exposure into a no risk situation. That you kissed this partner or used your finger to manipulate her rectum does not change this- it was still a no risk event.

There is no reason for you to worry about the exposure you describe, no reason to test for HIV or any other STI and no reason to abstain from unprotected sex with your wife.  I hope this response is helpful.  EWH

[Iron2121]

did it and it was negative. thanks doctor!
time to make a baby now.

Take it easy

[Edward W Hook, MD]

This is my last response.  No change in my assessment or advice.  your are correct, 28 days is conclusive for 4th generation tests, not that you need testing.  

That completes this post.  EWH

[Iron2121]

Doc

I am doing at least one test before I have unprotected sex wiith my wife. I will tomorrow do a combo test that also looks for the antigen. Tomorrow will be the 27th day after the event. I saw somewhere that at 28 days it is conclusive for 4th generation tests correct?

I know you told me its final...but this is one of those things I just caant get my head around.

So hopefully Ill post here that everything went Ok...

Take care

[Edward W Hook, MD]

As I said in my original reply, the exposure you describe did not put you at risk for HIV.  Your continuuing symptoms are non-specific and may be a manifestation of your guilt and anxiety over your exposure outside of your marriage.  

I repeat, there is no reason for concern.  You have no reason to worry about sex with your wife.  EWH

[Iron2121]

Hello doctor Edward,

I am posting again because this past week I felt really tired and had 3 mouth ulcers at the same time. (had mouth ulcers before even three at thhe time) I know you told me I should be ok, but cant avoid to hink there is something wrong. I spoke to the girl who I had sex with and she told me she had done tests recently and theey were fine. Anyway just though it would be for concern having so many mouth ulcers at once. I also had a mouth ulcer when I first kissed her.

My overall symptoms were:

Flu 2 days after event, small diarrea two weeks after lasting only for two days and now the faigue and mouth ulcers. I know I am very sttressed as well, my eye is evven twiching by itself...

Sorry to post again I can pay if necessary. I want to make a baby this month. Many compliments to you doctors and people out there stay safe and use condoms!

[Edward W Hook, MD]

This is not a reason for concern. EWH

[Iron2121]

Doctor Edward I cant take the anxiety of my chest. Mainly because I had the flu right after and the small diarrea....sorry to post again I have a real anxiety problem when it comes to this. And knowing I will try to makke a baby is a responsability very strong.

Can you please give a scientific view on this...maybe my brain will then take a rest....If you feel this is abuse of your service please do not answer I will understand.

Thanks

[Edward W Hook, MD]

No, this is not a reason for concern. EWH

[Iron2121]

Doctor Edward really sorry to be posting again....
I just wanted to share with you that I had a bit of diarrea after eating a heavy meal (feijoada) literealy 20 minutes after the other day...it was a very fatty meal. Is this a sign of any viral disease related to the event I descriibed? My only concern for it is  because it has been exactly 2 weeks.....

Thanks

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Coincidence, nothing more.  EWH

[Iron2121]

Hello just wanted to point out that i had the flu right after the event two days later. Stuffy nose and so forth....is this Ok?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Glad to help. EWH

[Iron2121]

Hi thank you for the answer. I have to say though that these girls were not prostitutes since I checked and talked to them. Saw where they work and so fourth. Anyway makes no difference as you said. No risk is no risk.

Thank you and keep up the good work!

Regards.