Aa
Do I need to be tested?
I hope you can help me with my questions, I really respect both of you Dr.'s and hold your advice in high regard..
I asked this question in free forum and I think I know the answer but I really want a professional opinion as I have been extremely worried and anxious over this. I mainly don't want to spread anything to my wife.
4 days ago I had my first experience with a bisexual married man. I do know that this man is fairly promiscious with other men. He did say he is hiv - but had not been tested in a year.
I was given a handjob and once I began to cum he took my penis into his mouth sucking. My penis was in mouth for 5-15 seconds max, at this time I told him to stop and felt nasty. I noticed a red spot on the head of my penis, was thinking it was possibly blood from his mouth.
I have noticed need to urinate freuqently since the incident but it is not painful/burn to urinate at all.
Obviously considering this person was hiv positive and if that was blood from his mouth does that increase my chances of getting hiv? Could his blood have gone into my urethra and infected me?
My questions;
1) What are my chances of having been infected with something?
2) If I came into your office would you advise testing? (I will take your answer seriously and be able to stop worrying if its the answer im hoping for)
3) Can I continue sex with my wife?
I know I made a mistake and will NEVER do this again, a lot of guilt and anxiety over this..
I asked this question in free forum and I think I know the answer but I really want a professional opinion as I have been extremely worried and anxious over this. I mainly don't want to spread anything to my wife.
4 days ago I had my first experience with a bisexual married man. I do know that this man is fairly promiscious with other men. He did say he is hiv - but had not been tested in a year.
I was given a handjob and once I began to cum he took my penis into his mouth sucking. My penis was in mouth for 5-15 seconds max, at this time I told him to stop and felt nasty. I noticed a red spot on the head of my penis, was thinking it was possibly blood from his mouth.
I have noticed need to urinate freuqently since the incident but it is not painful/burn to urinate at all.
Obviously considering this person was hiv positive and if that was blood from his mouth does that increase my chances of getting hiv? Could his blood have gone into my urethra and infected me?
My questions;
1) What are my chances of having been infected with something?
2) If I came into your office would you advise testing? (I will take your answer seriously and be able to stop worrying if its the answer im hoping for)
3) Can I continue sex with my wife?
I know I made a mistake and will NEVER do this again, a lot of guilt and anxiety over this..
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Re-read my replies above. It applies to both STD and HIV.
That's all for this thread.
That's all for this thread.
Thank you very much Dr. I appreciate your advise. This is my last question then I will let it go...
In regards to being testing the only concern is for an std and not for hiv?
In regards to being testing the only concern is for an std and not for hiv?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
This is a judgment call without a clear right or wrong answer. If you believe your partner has the high risk lifestyle I impled above, you should be tested regardless of the need for reassurance. If not, there probably is no need. If you can't find out, it's better to be safe than sorry.
Say Hypothetically I did not have anxiety over this would you still advise testing? You are correct I will do it in order to ease my anxiety
but based on your professional opinion and medically speaking, you don't think testing is even necessary?
but based on your professional opinion and medically speaking, you don't think testing is even necessary?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the HIV forum. I can't find your question on the HIV community forum. But Dr. Hook and I almost always agree with the advice there, especially from Teak or Lizzie Lou. So don't expect a different response here.
That your partner is bisexual doesn't tell me anything about the chance he might have HIV or other STDs. If he has lots of casual exposures with other men, especially anonymously and without condoms, he obviously is at high risk.
Still, he oprobably does not have HIV, since people rarely lie when asked directly. But I cannot judge the chance he has been infected since his last test. But even if he is infected, oral sex is zero to low risk. (Some experts believe thre is truly no risk of oral to penile HIV transmssion and others acknowledge low risk in the range of 1 in 20,000. That's equivalent to having such exposure by HIV infected persons once daily for 55 years.) Handjobs of course carry no risk of HIV/STD transmission.
I don't accept the preimise that "this person was HIV positive". But if he was, is it theoretically possible that blood in your partner's mouth could have gotten into your urethra and infected you? Sure. It's also possible you'll get hit by a meteorite. Given the statistics I quoted above, the odds probably are similar.
As for other STDs, there are small risks from oral sex for gonorrhea, nongonococcal urethritis, herpes due to HSV-1, and syphilis. The chance of any of these is low, but of course this depends on your partner's sexual lifestyle, as discussed above.
To the specific questions:
1) Zero for HIV. Higher but still unlikely for other STDs.
2) My advice in the office or here is the same: I recommend testing. Not so much from a strict risk assessment perspective, but for reassurance, i.e. you'll probably require negative test results to help you get past your anxieties. So have a urine test for gonorrhea now and blood tests for HIV and syphilis in about 6 weeks. There is no need to test for HSV-1 or NGU; if there are no symptoms of those infections in the next couple of weeks, you can be quite sure you weren't infected.
3) This is your decision. No distant online source can guarantee someone isn't infected. If your bisexual partner does not have the highly risky lifestyle I described above, and if I were in your situation, I would probably continue unprotected sex with my wife. But there are no guarantees, and if I thought he was at particularly high risk, I would not do so until my negative test results were available.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
That your partner is bisexual doesn't tell me anything about the chance he might have HIV or other STDs. If he has lots of casual exposures with other men, especially anonymously and without condoms, he obviously is at high risk.
Still, he oprobably does not have HIV, since people rarely lie when asked directly. But I cannot judge the chance he has been infected since his last test. But even if he is infected, oral sex is zero to low risk. (Some experts believe thre is truly no risk of oral to penile HIV transmssion and others acknowledge low risk in the range of 1 in 20,000. That's equivalent to having such exposure by HIV infected persons once daily for 55 years.) Handjobs of course carry no risk of HIV/STD transmission.
I don't accept the preimise that "this person was HIV positive". But if he was, is it theoretically possible that blood in your partner's mouth could have gotten into your urethra and infected you? Sure. It's also possible you'll get hit by a meteorite. Given the statistics I quoted above, the odds probably are similar.
As for other STDs, there are small risks from oral sex for gonorrhea, nongonococcal urethritis, herpes due to HSV-1, and syphilis. The chance of any of these is low, but of course this depends on your partner's sexual lifestyle, as discussed above.
To the specific questions:
1) Zero for HIV. Higher but still unlikely for other STDs.
2) My advice in the office or here is the same: I recommend testing. Not so much from a strict risk assessment perspective, but for reassurance, i.e. you'll probably require negative test results to help you get past your anxieties. So have a urine test for gonorrhea now and blood tests for HIV and syphilis in about 6 weeks. There is no need to test for HSV-1 or NGU; if there are no symptoms of those infections in the next couple of weeks, you can be quite sure you weren't infected.
3) This is your decision. No distant online source can guarantee someone isn't infected. If your bisexual partner does not have the highly risky lifestyle I described above, and if I were in your situation, I would probably continue unprotected sex with my wife. But there are no guarantees, and if I thought he was at particularly high risk, I would not do so until my negative test results were available.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
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