Still anxious - insertive oral

[jimpower392]

Hi Doctors

It pains me to post again but I seem to be in a loop that I cannot get out of. I can relax for 1-2 days and then my mind goes into overload.

Here is my situation again:

1. 2-3 seconds of unprotected oral sex with a man of unknown status, he performed the act on me.
2. All my tests have been 4th generation duo tests.
3. Tested negative at 23, 28, 38 and 45 days.
4. All but 2 of the tests have been paid for out of my own pocket including one at a private clinic. Dr Hook wasn't impressed with my over testing.

But here I am again, so clearly I have issues as I can't afford to keep doing this.

I'm so anxious as I have a girlfriend and in the last 2 weeks the following has happened:
1. She has had a UTI 2 weeks ago
2. I have developed a coating on my tongue which is into it's second week
3. She has developed a very heavy cold.

So does this change any of my previous advice? In what world could I have possibly been infected?
Should I be concerned by any of the above?

Should I test again?

Please help.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Final answer. No it does not.  

You are not letting go of this. Once again, I urge you to seek counseling rather than perseverating on something that you do not have.

I will not fuel your anxietes further- there will be no further answers  EWH

[jimpower392]

Hi Dr

I have oral thrush on my tongue, I went to the pharmacist. Does this change anything?

[jimpower392]

Thank you for the quick and sorry to anger you.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

NO!  EWH

[jimpower392]

One last question doctor, should I be concerned about HIV 2 not being picked up on any if my tests? I have no idea of the mans origin or sexual past.

[jimpower392]

* I do need help

[jimpower392]

As always thank you for the response.

I seem to struggle with conflicting information:

Some say oral sex is a risk, some say no risk.
Some say 3 months for conclusive testing, some say 4 weeks for duo and 6-8 weeks for antibody only.

I do not help, I just don't know where to turn as I can't tell my partner.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

I'm sorry you are having such difficulty in getting by this exposure.  You can test as much as you want but, just as is the case for your repetitive questions, neither your test results nor my responses to your questions is going to change.  I suspect that you are wrestling with a combination of guilt-driven fear which is leading you to discount the results of some of the most reliable tests ever developed and repeated professional advice.  It now appears that your anxieties have lead you to begin to associate coincidences with a "possible infection" that not only is there no evidence that you have but for which there is strong evidence that you do not have.  Specifically:
There is no association with a UTI in your partner, a perceived change in the appearance in your tongue, or that your partner caught a cold with your encounter over a month ago.

You need to figure out how to move on. To that end, it is my heartfelt and strong advice for you to seek the assistance of a counselor or mental health professional to gain assistance in working through this. Such encounters are confidential and it is apparent that you need help in working through your concerns/guilt.  Please feel free to print copies of this and our prior interchanges to help a counselor understand what the issues are.  

I hope this comment is helpful. EWH