Hoping for a miracle...

[doomed80]

Hey Doc,

What are the chances I dont have hiv?

Swollen tonsils 4 and a half months on and off
little red spots that turn brown
had parasites and some foot fungus
white tongue
lean muscle loss all over
dull ache testicles and l think shrinking a bit. Ultra sound says no abnormalities...but I know my testicles well
blurry vision left eye
back and joint pain.
fatigued
have had nerve pains and muscle twitches, benign fasiculations for 6 years though, eeg says not neuro related
frequent constipation and here and low grade fever

In this almost five month period have tested three times by 4th grn and one rapid blood prick, all negative.
Suspect neurosyphilis or something like it but have not had syphilis sores. All other blood in normal ranges as well as cd3 4 & 8 apparently.
Think I'm at a late stage?

Im so desperate and affraid that my past has come back to haunt me and affraid I have unknowingly infected my partner. Ive lost all hope, family and friends think its in my head but I'm not irrational, going through the motions of therapy cause the depression and terror are ruining my family and life...I just want to jump.

Any thoughts would be much appreciated.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

You may post your results when you get them.  I won't bet you, it would be too easy to take your money.  EWH

[doomed80]

Well Dr Hook,
Tomorrow I go to a great diagnostic clinic where this will get figured out.
I will bet anything that I have aids or aids due to htlv and I've somehow due to being late stage and never knew it.
I'm praying for a miracle but with the testicular atrophy and muscle wasting I'm feelin so hopeless...

[doomed80]

Thanks doc, but as said have NOT tested for syphilis.
All tests were hiv blood tests. I know you're not clairvoyant but I cant see what else this could possibly be.
Thanks for trying doc.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Sorry I misinterpreted your statements "In this almost five month period have tested three times by 4th grn and one rapid blood prick, all negative.

Suspect neurosyphilis or something like it but have not had syphilis sores."

The quick folow-on from HIV to syphilis and the facts that both are blood tests done at the same time do not change my assessment or advice however.  There is NO evidence that your non-specific findings are due to HIV and STRONG evidence that you do not.  My assessment and advice is unchanged.  EWH

[doomed80]

Haha, I know you hear it everyday and are a good man for what you do.

Thing is I've never done the syphilis test out of everything I've done but doubt it alone could cause atrophy and testicular atrophy. Among all this am certain its late stage as everything mentioned in conjuction with each other point to aids or maybe htvl but is so rare in Canada. Tongue and cheeks are a mess with chancres here and there, rash like ckicken pox, purple brown dots keep popping up. Brain fog, dizzy as heck, short of breath and the list goes on...real scared here and my exposure five months ago is not the only one in the past few years but as far as I can recall negligable but debatable risks. Something is holding back my immune and in alot of pain with the muscle loss...I'm certain its aids, normally not unrational. Scared for my family and on the edge.

Thanks Dr Hook. Maybe another look see at all I've mention for more assurance or even an objective opinion on some direction here. Wish words could describe how much your advice means to me. All the best.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to our Forum. Sometimes the titles of posts we receive, or the pseudonym used by clients are sufficient for us to guess what the writer is worried about.  Your question and pseudonym fall into this category.  My guess is that as I read your question I will find that you have had an exposure that you regret and are now over reacting by assuming that you have acquired HIV from your regrettable decision.  I'll now read your question and find out if I am on target.

Guess what.  I was right.  While you do not say much about your exposure history (and do not need to in this case- you have definitive lab test results), the symptoms that you describe are entirely non-specific with many possible causes and are not at all suggestive of HIV, early or late.  Further, you have repeated laboratory tests for HIV and syphilis obtained as far out from your exposures as five months which are all negative.  While there is much variation in HIV and how it can present in patients, there is one thing that is absolutely true- when person's lab tests and symptoms disagree, the lab tests are ALWAYS right.  

Bottom line, you do not have HIV from an encounter more than five months ago.  You need to accept this.  If you cannot, you do not need further testing, you need to seek the advice of a counselor who can help you to sort out the reasons for you unwarranted concerns and to help you address them.


I hope this comment is helpful. EWH